Lance Carbuncle Q&A discussion

*** This is the thread for you to ask Lance anything and everything you would like to know about his first novel "Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed".

I picked up on the many On the Road references in your book. There were some other passages or allusions that seemed familiar to me but I couldn't quite put my finger on them. Did you work in any references to other works of literature or am I just imagining it?

Ok Lance, a stuffy daddy.... I have to ask where you came up with the character of a stuffed daddy! Was any of this novel based (however loosely) on your own personal experience?

Lori wrote: "Ok Lance, a stuffy daddy.... I have to ask where you came up with the character of a stuffed daddy! Was any of this novel based (however loosely) on your own personal experience?"

Stuffed Daddy came from several different things. First, in my house we have a full sized skeleton by our front window. He is always dressed appropriately for the time of the year. He has outfits for all of the different holidays. Actually, it’s about time to dress him in his Cleveland Browns jersey and helmet since football season is approaching.

Other influences for Stuffed Daddy came from reading something about Jeremy Bentham’s body being stuffed (all of that information is mentioned in the story). I have often told my wife that when I die I want to be stuffed like that and she needs to keep me prominently displayed in our house. I’m not entirely sure that I am joking with her about that.

Denga wrote: "I picked up on the many On the Road references in your book. There were some other passages or allusions that seemed familiar to me but I couldn't quite put my finger on them. Did you work in any..."

Yeah, there were a lot of allusions to On the Road. I love that book and it just seemed appropriate to give a nod to the ultimate road-trip book. I think I may have tipped my hat to Picture of Dorian Gray and some Herman Hesse. There were probably some other literary allusions included in there that I don’t even remember.

Lance, have you seen Very Bad Things with Christian Slater? Your book kind of reminded me of that, one bad thing happens and it just escalates from there, one thing rolling into another until you get to the end of the book and have to laugh because it's just so crazy.

Mandy wrote: "Lance, have you seen Very Bad Things with Christian Slater? Your book kind of reminded me of that, one bad thing happens and it just escalates from there, one thing rolling into another until you ..."

I really liked Very Bad Things. It’s been quite a while since I saw it so I can’t remember everything from it. But, yes, I really enjoyed that movie. And I thought that the end was perfect. It was disturbing as hell and a totally appropriate with Cameron Diaz being burdened with John Favreau dragging himself with his leg stumps, the dog missing a leg, the quadriplegic guy, etc. Great ending! It’s been a long time. I may have to go back and watch Very Bad Things.

Lori wrote: "Ok Lance, a stuffy daddy.... I have to ask where you came up with the character of a stuffed daddy! Was any of this novel based (however loosely) on your own personal experience?"

Okay, so I didn’t really answer whether any of Smashed is based on my real life. A lot of it is based upon experiences I had, people I know, and/or things people have told me. The people that know me well will recognize bits and pieces in the story. I once heard Quentin Tarantino talking about how his friends got irritated with him because they kept noticing their conversations in his dialogue. I totally get that. There’s nothing that makes for creating sincere dialogue than basing it on a real conversation and there’s lot of that going on in my book.

I do feel the need to say that Smashed is not autobiographical. As ridiculous as it may seem that I need to say that, it may be necessary. I have had a lot of people who I know talk to me about the main character as if he were me. The main character is fictional and is not based on me as a person. I do not live in my mother’s basement. I do not now, nor have I ever, owned a basset hound. My asshole is not constantly and unexplainably sore. And nobody can prove that I ever took a shit in a garbage bag in front of any of my pets (I’m not going to confirm or deny this one. All I can say is “prove it.”).

With it being said that the book is not autobiographical, I will also say that so much of it is based upon things I have done or experienced, places that I have visited, and people whom I have met and known.

Lance, I can really understand why people would wonder if your book was autobiographical, and then turn around and comment that it couldn't be because it is too bizarre!
I think that most lives, if written, would seem more bizarre than any movie script or 'popular' fiction. This is why I really enjoyed your book .. it has a very real vein of authenticity running through the entire content.
I am really looking forward to your next book!!!

There isn't any way it could be autobiographical (IMHO), however I can understand getting ideas from those you've met in your life. I had a maid once, at a hotel, keep eating my yogurt out of the room fridge. I should have thought of rubbing my butt on it, however instead of a tip, I left her a yogurt and a note telling her all the yogurt she ate during my stay did not go unnoticed and that was her tip-enjoy. The butt thing would have been better though-see I did learn a lesson from your book.

Deneen wrote: "There isn't any way it could be autobiographical (IMHO), however I can understand getting ideas from those you've met in your life. I had a maid once, at a hotel, keep eating my yogurt out of the ..."

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Butt-yogurt!

Suzanne wrote: "Lance, I can really understand why people would wonder if your book was autobiographical, and then turn around and comment that it couldn't be because it is too bizarre!
I think that most lives, i..."

Suzanne, I’ll show you a vein of authenticity. Shit, there I go making dick jokes when somebody does something nice and gives me a compliment. No wonder I’m awkward in social situations. Anyway, thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it.

LOL !!! ROFLOL !!!

what made you decide to self publish your book? are publishers afraid of it?

I totally flaked out yesterday and missed the the Q&A but hopefully I'm not too late.

Two of the names that stood out for me (aside from Suchi Punani) were Larry Mondello and Buddy Hinton. Did those come from Leave it to Beaver and The Brady Bunch or am I the only freak who remembers that stuff and it was totally coincidental?

Joanie, Lance is popping in all week, you still have time :)

Great, thanks Lori!

Joanie wrote: "Two of the names that stood out for me (aside from Suchi Punani) were Larry Mondello and Buddy Hinton. Did t..."

Good job. The Buddy Hinton (Brady Bunch) one was pretty easy but Larry Mondello from Leave it to Beaver was a little more obscure. I like to use Larry Mondello when a restaurant hostess asks for my name.

I appreciate it when people pick up on the pop culture references in the book. I kind of took the Mystery Science Theater approach of throw a shitload of obscure and esoteric references into the book and hope that at least one person picks up on them. And then it’s fun when somebody (even if it’s only one person) finally gets the reference and asks about it. You are the first person who has pointed out the Brady Bunch and Leave it to Beaver references. You get the “I watched too much television as a child” award.

Yeah!!! I never win ANYTHING!!! I would say it's a combination of too much tv and having a freakishly good memory for really useless information. My dad loved Leave it to Beaver so we used to watch it with him all the time so Larry jumped right out at me. And who could ever forget Buddy Hinton taunting Cindy with "Babytalk, babytalk it's a wonder you can walk!" Ahhh...those were the good old days! I'm just happy that you didn't write back with a "what the hell are you talking about? Larry Mondello is my neighbor's name" or something.

Kingcrusty wrote: "what made you decide to self publish your book? are publishers afraid of it?"

Self-publishing just seemed like the right path for me. I never even considered trying to get an agent or submit a manuscript to a publishing company. I can’t say that publishing companies are scared of me. However, I have a feeling that I might have a hard time selling a publishing business on my books. Some people have told me that I’ve done myself a disservice by not going the traditional route to publication but I disagree. I am getting better reviews than a lot of traditionally published books and, amazingly, I am starting to amass a pretty good sized fanbase. I suspect that if I went the traditional route, somebody would have wanted to seriously water down my work so that it wouldn’t offend somebody. I just didn’t feel like fucking around with that hassle. So I decided to do the whole DYI deal and push my book myself. And it’s been great. I am constantly in contact with fans who have questions and comments about my book. I love hearing from my readers and doing Q&A sessions like this one. I don’t know that I would have had the same opportunities to get behind my book so much had I let a business take over my product.

Lance, the footnotes, did you decide to put them in before writing the book, during the writing of the book or after writing the book? There are some that are pretty interesting and informative and then some that are totally bizarre, how did you choose them?

Lance, I think that a huge part of that ever-growing fanbase you have is due to your amazing personality, and the time you take to reach out to each of us on a one to one basis.

You are human, real, tangible, funny, and interesting as hell (No, Im not sucking up... Yes, I have point!) These are the qualities that draw us back again and again to an authors work.

Mandy wrote: "Lance, the footnotes, did you decide to put them in before writing the book, during the writing of the book or after writing the book? There are some that are pretty interesting and informative an..."

I knew when I started the book that I would be putting ridiculous footnotes throughout the book. It just seemed like a fun idea to me. I possess a vast amount of useless knowledge in my head and felt the need to share some of it. Some of the footnotes just came to me some of them I had to research. The researching the footnotes was actually a lot of fun (as strange as that may sound). I got to scan the internet for, among other things, pictures of bunnies suffering from Shope papilloma virus, information about how turkey vultures defecate on their own legs, and the number of sphincters in the human body. How much fun is that?