Lance Carbuncle Q&A discussion

*** This is the place to hit Lance up with all the things you MUST know.

Wondering if he is a boxers or brief kinda guy?
Prefers Pepsi to Coke?
If HE ever had anyone or anyTHING stuffed?

This is the place to post it!

Okay, so one wants to brave this one and ask a weird, way out there question?????

Must I go first? Damn....

Lance, if you had to choose between licking peanut butter out of a homeless guys armpit, or living one whole day of your life blindfolded, while still doing what you would normally be doing, which would you choose?

Do you scrunch or fold thy toilet paper?

Mandy wrote: "Do you scrunch or fold thy toilet paper?"

Neither. I use the Comfort Wipe because, let’s face it, toilet paper is really archaic and disgusting.

Lori wrote: "Lance, if you had to choose between licking peanut butter out of a homeless guys armpit, or living one whole day of your life blindfolded, while still doing what you would normally be doing, which would you choose?
"

I think that I’m going to have to go with licking the peanut butter from the homeless guy’s armpit. But, I will need to elaborate on your hypothetical just a bit. First, the homeless guy must be dead. Second, I only want to be doing the licking if it is a prelude to me making sweet love to his armpit. And don’t get all judgmental on me and be like, “Wow dude, you’re weird! You’ve got some gay-necrophilia-homeless-guy-armpit-fetish-thing going on,” because I don’t. It’s just that the whole dead-armpit-fucking scenario would make for a much better story at a party. Oh, sure, the blindfold thing would make me look all sensitive and concerned about the plight of my fellow man and maybe add some depth to my personality. Boring! Who want’s to hear about shit like that? I’m putting myself to sleep even considering the possibility. On the other hand, you break out the fucking-the-dead-guy’s-armpit story and you’re the hit of the party. It’s just far more entertaining. So I’m going to have to go with the peanut butter deal. Now stop looking at me like that.

Lance, Too Fucking Funny!!!!!

As for the Comfort Wipe, uhm.... ok. That thing is weird!

Lance, if you can come back to this earth after dying as something other than human what would you come back as?

Good one Mandy!

Lance, What one quote would you want people to remember you most by?

Mandy wrote: "Lance, if you can come back to this earth after dying as something other than human what would you come back as?"

A skunk ape.

Lori wrote: "Lance, What one quote would you want people to remember you most by?"

I don’t know. How about this from my introductory note to Smashed:

“It is always hard for me to share my creative output with others...It feels like I have taken a big dump on a platter and set it out at a party for people to view. I hope you like the way it looks and smells.”

Uhm. Yummy!

Hi, Mr. Carbuncle.
My ? is about what THE group is really about?
Are We suppose to Worship You, Love You, Buy Your Books?
I DO! :)
But My Mind is Only On when Grundish & Askew is coming out in Paperback, so I can READ it..
Thank You for Your Support,
Always :)

Always wrote: "Hi, Mr. Carbuncle.
My ? is about what THE group is really about?
Are We suppose to Worship You, Love You, Buy Your Books?
I DO!"

Wow. You hit the nail on the head. With this group I was aiming to get people to love me, worship me, and buy my books (in that order). God, I’m a needy, insecure little bastard, aren’t I?

Lance wrote: "Always wrote: "Hi, Mr. Carbuncle.
My ? is about what THE group is really about?
Are We suppose to Worship You, Love You, Buy Your Books?
I DO!"

Wow. You hit the nail on the head. With this..."

What's worse, you're a writer.