Crimsons Blog discussion

Hey everyone,

So if you don't read the introduction then you don't know that my real name is Mahaley, but if you wish you can address me as Crimson. This will be my first blog here and I am glad to get to share it with you! So I thought for this I would basically tell a little bit about myself, shortly of course, unless asked otherwise to share the whole thing later!

Starting off I am 16 years old, turned that back in April. I come from a split family home, living with my Father because my mother said some and done some pretty hurtful things to me over my 7 years of living with her. I have 3 siblings, one is a brother, younger, and two are sisters, one of which being half but I count her as fully related. Both of them are also younger, so yes that means i'm the oldest.

I used to get bullied a lot back when I was younger an still to this very day. Being called things like ugly, fat, stupid, unworthy, worthless and many other things by peers and family. Then I ended up dealing with depression, in that area I tried committing suicide and also began the addiction of cutting. that went on for a good solid year but I got a threat saying if I didn't stop they would tell my father, in which case I did recently stop.

I have had one boyfriend and I was used, only to go to prom with and make him look good, but I mean hey least I got to go to prom!

I have much more about myself that I could share, but I really didn't want to make this too long! Sorry if it was, just wanted people to know me a little more before they decided to share about themselves :)
Much Love, Crimson

Ok, so day 2 of this blog, an the topic is... SUMMER SCHOOL

I don't know if any of you have siblings but I do, and one of them has that horrible name that we all hate to even hear, which is Summer School. He is 12 and in 6th grade, long story short he failed the whole year of math. All F's....the champ! An so my mother, whom I don't see anymore has brought him and my sister back to our location so he can finish his 8 days of summer school.

Now what I do not understand is...how is it that, 8 simple days can help a child do better in that subject, when they took that class the WHOLE year? How is it supposed to help them? If you have a brother or sister or maybe even yourself that has done or is currently going through summer school, can you please explain to me how on this earth can only 8 days, help you when the whole school year didn't!

Sometimes school and teachers confuse me, in all honesty, I am getting ready to be a sophomore and was held back in 3rd grade. I really think because of that it taught me to get my act together and realize that summer break is a award I get for doing my work and keeping my grades up. An with that being said if I was my parents I would have told my brother that he has to repeat his grade just like me (his older sister) had to. So what do you guys think? Has anyone in your family or maybe even you had to go to summer school? If so...did it even help!?

Much Love, Crimson

JAIL??

So here where I live, they had a Open House for a new jail that has been built. 3 Counties will be going there and I cant remember all but 2. Which is sad, but im not going nor working there so, it really doesn't matter. I did however get to go to the open house and I must say that it is really nice inside.

As far as anything else I didn't really learn anything. The tour guys or in other words Cops, showed us around and didn't say much but "does anyone have any questions" and other than that, they didn't say much but answers. What impressed me the most was the kitchen! It was huge, bigger than anything I've ever seen.

If you have ever gone to a jail, or been in jail....which I hope not, but if you have what was it like? Big...small...crapy...nice? I don't know lol but I do know some cops are scary..!!!!

lol with Much Love, Crimson

THE POOL

I went to the pool today with my half sisters, sister, and I mean...I had a great time BUT, was ditched a lot. She had friends there that she wanted to hang with and had guys to flirt with, and I wasn't included in anything honestly.

I was starting to wish some of my guy friends had showed up because I didn't have anyone to swim with or talk to, so it got pretty boring n lonely. If I had a friend come to the town pool with me I definitely wouldn't have ignored nor drug them along even though they didn't know any one nor because I wanted to hang with them.

One things for sure I wouldn't have gone if I knew that was going to happen, but on the plus side....I got a tan!

So have you ever gone with someone somewhere and they either ditch or ignore you, or maybe in my case both? How did you handle it?

Much Love, Crimson

LIES

So...have you ever been in a relationship and its going great until...someone says it has to end? Well that's what happened to me, I had my first boyfriend in the month of march. The day we got together was march 18, little did I know...it wasn't gonna last long.

We started out fine and happy, a very cute couple people would call us. An he even wanted to take me to prom with him! Oh I was so happy, felt so loved. But the relationship was twisted...and I was used...used to make him look good and feel good with someone by his side. An one day I got a text.

He said he wasn't ready for relationships....RIGHT AFTER WE WENT TO HIS BIRTHDAY DINNER ON APRIL 25!!!! I had just met his parents and his sister an now he doesn't want to be with me! He still took me to prom...but little did I know he used me then too. He would kiss me and hug me and hold my hand like I was his girlfriend all over again...and...I was so stupid to not see it happening before my very eyes.

Now its June and we haven't been together for 2 months, But recently he posted he is now in a relationship with some bitch named Bridgett. WOW, thought you weren't ready for relationships. I hate liers.

Has this or something like this ever happened to you? If so...how did you take it, did you get back or confront that person?

Much Love, ..... Crimson

WORKING OUT

Hey guys, its been a while and im truly sorry for not writing. Cant say I've been to busy just honestly that I forgot about goodreads for a little while. An its kinda good cause now I've got something's to write about :).
To start things off, I got extremely depressed and came to the conclusion of starving myself, and I did but only for a day, but I do eat a lot less than I did because I have body image issues.

An I also tried telling my best friend (x bestie) that I wanted to try an work some things out and that I miss her, that however didn't work and all she did was read the message! An never replied, but it doesn't kill me its been 5 months since we spoke and I have tons of other friends and losing one doesn't kill me.


I also went from 182 followers on instagram to 200 some. However my father didn't pay my phone bill so who knows what kind of shits gone down on my instagram. As we speak it could be losing its followers and being coming less fucking popular than it already was. ( If you wanna save my instagram its crimsonsmonster, an all ya gotta do is go follow and spread the word around for people to follow me as well!)

So tell me, have you got a instagram and want followers, I might be able to make it happen. Do you have that one friend who is such a asshole that he/she doesn't answer you back? Or maybe you have gotten depressed lately and im hoping this made you a little happier.

Much Love,........Crimson

LOVE???

Hey guys, yesterday I got really touched by my Pastor as he spoke to me about how a man is attacking him and saying lies and mean things. Yet through all that my Pastor still loves the man with Godly love, an it touched my heart, because I came to realize that even though we get treated wrong and we are hurt by so many mean people, we should still love them.

I also went that night and sent just about everyone I was friends with on facebook a private message saying that I loved them and that if they ever needed anything im there for them ( but no I don't give my facebook out unless I know you personally! ). Even I to have gone through and still do battle depression, but I never had anyone to help me through my hard times. I now want to be there for people even if they treat me with hurtful words. YES people piss me off and make me mad an YES if I had to id get in a fight, but im hoping that the terms will never come to that, that I can love them with the God like love and help them.

An those people who have known you or who have stuck by your side through thick an thin will know when someone's lying about you, an they wont believe it! So don't worry your beautiful head over that. An if there is ever a time you may need me....hey...I can always try my best to be there.

I may not be perfect.....but everything I do I try to do perfectly with a whole heart.

Much Love,..........Crimson

I just read these, and I am truly sorry about what happened to you and TJ. :( I am sure you'll find someone again.. :)

NEW LOVER??

So on the 8th of this very month of 2014 I met a wonderful guy named Kellen, an even though I am 16 years old...he is well...18. He makes me very happy and makes me feel very loved. As long as we have been together we find ourselves very comfortable with each other.

A little information about him is that he is 6'1, he has blonde hair, grey blueish eyes, very romantic. He is graduated, his birthday is in February and he love to give massages and he loves cuddling. He sings has his own albums, plays many instruments including guitar.

I am so greatful I met him, and we have many things in common, we both enjoy the band Falling In Reverse and many other things. I really believe so far that he is the one for me. Im so glad that I made two mistakes before him, because they lead me to him.

So here is what I leave you with. It may seem like your getting your heart broken everytime. An everytime it hurts more and more, but trust me....it will lead you to that perfect someone who you haven't had that special connection with yet. don't lose hope, and don't lose sight.

Much Love,............Crimson