V Games Advanced Readers Club discussion

Hands trembling, heart pounding, I placed one hesitant foot in front of the other.
This can't be happening.
I clung to the bundle of blankets, plastic cup and plate I was handed by a prison guard. Every single possession I had was taken away. I didn't know if I'd see my things again. That's why they had to prise the photograph from my clenched fist: the sacred moment of happiness captured of me and my mother all those years ago. How could they take it from me? It was all I had left of us.
Now, the only vision I have of her is one particularly haunting expression burned into my retinas. The one she had at the exact moment the judge convicted me – tears rolling down her ashen cheeks, her mouth parted in an endless, silent scream. Nauseous, that's how I felt. And the type of exhausted I imagined only an insomniac knew the taste of.
Despite being mere hours ago, it already felt like days. How much longer would it feel after a month? A yea? Two?
I could still see the blood, my hand clamped around the hilt of the knife, the blade buried in my stepfather's swollen gut. His expression of shock and dismay. Of all the people who could have risen up against him, he never would have suspected me.
A burly guard led me down a corridor of cells. The cavernous room was monotone, broken only by a harsh red railing that surrounded a central space, rising up two levels above me and one below. Prisoners leered at me, muttering to one another, elbowing their friends to draw attention toward me.
I could see it in their expressions, what I feared. They were thinking, fresh meat.
The guard halted me in front of a cell, his broad form just a shadow in my periphery. As he slid open a hatch in the door, I couldn't draw my eyes from the the dark hole. What would my cellmate be like? I had never worried about it until now. The trial took everything out of me, my courage included.
I promised I'd remain strong, for my mother's sake. But now I was here and entirely alone. Whoever stood beyond that door would be my regular company from here on out.
“Stand back,” the guard barked and, like an idiot, I responded to his words, realising too late that the words weren't meant for me.
The brick-wall of a man didn't spare me a glance, instead rolling his shoulders and rapping a baton against the grey metal door. I was diminished beside him, my head barely grazing the breast pocket of his clean, white shirt. His chest pressed against the inside of it, all muscle. This man could break me in two, as could most of the guards I'd seen so far. What did they think of me?
A voice whispered the answer in my ear, cruel and all-knowing. Killer. Killer. Killer.
Through the hatch, I spotted a flash of red hair, then the guard snapped it shut. A harsh buzzing cut through the air and the door opened with a screech of metal.
The guard took my arm, drawing me closer, his mouth hovering by my ear, his breath so hot it left a heated patch on my skin. “Keep your head down in here.”
A warning, or a tip? I couldn't be sure. But why would this man help me? Surely he knew what the rest of England believed: that I was a viscous little killer.
He guided me inside. Two single beds sat opposite each other in a space perhaps six by eight feet. A girl stood at one end of her bed in a grey jumper and jogging bottoms: the same clothes I'd been given to wear. Her fiery hair cascaded around her, hanging almost to her waist. Her face was pale and blemish-free, but her eyes were ringed with darkness and flecked with red veins. Guess I wasn't alone in the exhaustion department. I wondered what kept her awake at night.
I turned back to the guard for instructions but he gave me none, swiftly exiting the room. The door clunked loudly into place and a chill fled down my spine.
I'm alone in here. No one is going to protect me but me.
“Hi,” I muttered, figuring it was best to break the ice as soon as possible. I was going to need allies in here – a prison was no place for actual friendships. This was about survival. And if there was one thing I knew about myself now, in the aftermath of all that had happened, it was that I'd do anything it took to survive.
The girl sauntered past her bed, her olive-green eyes trained on me, scouring, assessing. She was a year or two my senior. At eighteen, I imagined I was amongst the youngest here. If I'd killed my step-dad a year sooner, I could have been looking at juvenile prison and a far reduced sentence. But hell, I never had been one for good timing.
I dropped my eyes, turning to the other bed and placing the bundle of items on the mattress. No doubt playing the submissive in here was a solid move. At least initially, until I worked out the rules. And right then, I was certain being on good terms with my cell mate was a sensible idea.
“You shouldn't turn your back on anyone in here,” the girl said, making me snap around. Was she threatening me already? Christ, I'd only just walked in the door.
She was sitting on her bed, her long legs folded beneath her as she observed me. There was something cat-like about her; sweet and innocent-looking, but with a twisted craving for devouring creatures smaller than her.
Blood pounded in my ears.
What's your next move, Selena?
I perched on the edge of my bed, trying to keep my expression neutral.
Her eyes roamed over me once more. “I know you.”
I stiffened as her gaze pierced through me. “I don't think so,” I insisted, but doubt trickled into my gut. My trial had been well televised. And from what I heard, prisoners were privy to the luxuries of the news.
“Yeah...you're the girl who killed her father.”
“Stepfather,” I corrected without thinking.
A satisfied smile pulls at her full lips.
“Selena Grey,” she said my name, her upper lip curling back. “I saw you on Sky news.”
My heart clawed its way up into my throat. I'd been painted as a monster by the press. The abuse claims were dismissed by the court. Why didn't I go to the police months ago? Why didn't I show someone the bruises?
“I'm not what you think,” I insisted, knotting my hands together.
“None of us are.” She quirked up an eyebrow at me, evidently amused.
Is she mocking me?
I sucked in a slow breath, calming my erratic heartbeat. “What are you in for?”
She released a derisive snort. “Nothing as bad as you.”
I ground my teeth, irritated that I wasn't getting anywhere with the girl. Well I wasn't going to waste my time trying to connect with someone who had clearly already made up her mind about me.
I stood, firmly turning my back on her as I started making up my bed. If she believed I was some cold-blooded murderer, perhaps she wouldn't start anything with me. I had to be stronger. I had to let them believe what everyone else did.
My mother's final words to me ran through my mind.“Don't ever forget what you are, Selena. You're a hero, baby girl. My hero.”
My chest hollowed out. Mum was the only person in the world who knew what really happened. But perhaps that was a blessing in disguise now. The other girls mustn't think I was weak. Perhaps I was basing my judgement of prison life entirely on Hollywood films and dramatic Netflix shows, but I wasn't going to let my guard down all the same.
“Arson,” the girl said and I made the conscious decision to keep my back to her, hoping it would encourage her to keep talking.
“Oh?” I questioned vaguely.
“I'm in for arson. And my name's Cassandra. Or Cass, if you like.”
The fiery haired girl was in prison for arson, how fitting. I wasn't sure whether to believe her, but when I turned around, I saw the truth in her eyes. Call it a gift, but I'd always been able to see through someone's lies. Perhaps it was the years of living under a roof with a compulsive liar that had trained me to read people so well.
Why Cass had opened up to me though, was a mystery. Didn't she see me as some vengeful killer? The one who had taken her stepfather's life out of spite and jealousy? Or so they'd said.
“What did you burn?” I asked, dropping onto the bed and leaning back against the wall.
“The whole god-damn world if I could, babe.” Light danced in her emerald eyes.
I couldn't fight a laugh at her tone and she surprised me by joining in. Some of the tension ran out of my shoulders.
“Alright, not the whole world. But one person's: my ex's. I wanted to watch his life be devoured by flames. Still do actually.”
“Why?” My heart stumbled at her expression; there was a wildness in her I was instinctively wary of.
No friends, Selena, just allies.
The light in her eyes extinguished. “Payback.”
I nodded, unsure if I should question her further, but desperate to learn more.
She wound a finger around a crimson lock of hair, glancing away. Guess that was all the answers I was getting for now.
The door buzzed harshly and I stood, feeling safer on my feet as I prepared to face whoever was beyond the door. Cassandra watched, clearly amused by me again.
“I better show you the ropes, little killer.” Cassandra stood, taking to my side.
I muttered my thanks, letting her take the lead as the door swung open. She was tall, but then I was pretty small myself so everyone seemed tall to me. Her limbs had a litheness too them that seemed almost model-worthy, even her hands were those of a pianists. How did a girl like this end up in a maximum security prison? Arsonist or not, surely that wouldn't have been enough to land her here amongst the worst of womankind?
The other inmates were emptying out of their cells, all filing toward a metal staircase that led to the lower level. The monotonous clang of footsteps rung through the air as the girls descended.

“Where are we going?” I moved closer to Cassandra. Ally or not, she was the nearest thing I had to one right then.
“Food,” she said in explanation, her mouth barely moving. Her eyes were trained on the girls ahead of us, specifically one with a ponytail of ebony hair as dark as mine. There was a delicate tattoo of a spiderweb on her neck. The group seemed at ease, laughing and chatting together. It reminded me of school, the cool girls banding together, making a scene as they talked loudly, dominating the space. But the problem with the popular girls in prison, probably meant they were dangerous too.
One of them glanced over her shoulder, her pale blue eyes falling on me. She was large, nearly three times as wide as I was, her grey hair scraped back into a messy bun.
She nudged Spiderweb who turned to look. She was younger than the rest of the group, in her early twenties, I'd guess. A single black teardrop was tattooed next to her left eye. As her amber irises trailed over me, a violent tremor ran down my spine. I knew that look all too well and it made me horribly uneasy. I was being sized up. A lamb assessed by a butcher.
We turned down the staircase, saving me from the girl's probing eyes and leaving me wondering whether I'd made the cut.
“Who is that?” I whispered to Cassandra.
“Kite. Don't trust her.”
“Kite,” I echoed, memorising the name. Whether Cassandra was trustworthy or not, I had no idea. But my instincts told me I'd rather be sharing a cell with her than some like Kite or her companions. And my instincts had served me well in the past.
“She's boss around here, or likes to think so anyway. Calls herself Top Bitch, which is pretty fitting seeing as she runs around with a pack of mutts.” Cassandra laughed to herself and perhaps I'd have joined in under any other circumstances. But not then, not on my first day in prison where I was facing what felt like a lifetime under said 'Top Bitch'.
We arrived in a canteen filled with bright blue benches attached to dull grey tables, running the length of the room. The last thing I was right then was hungry, but I followed Cassandra to the queue anyway and grabbed a tray like everyone else. Despite not having been at the front of the crowd, Kite and her friends were somehow heading the line. That was no coincidence, so I guessed Cassandra was right.
That lot ran the place, which meant I was probably of interest. They'd want to make sure I wasn't trouble. That was, if Wentworth Prison Season One had taught me anything of value.
My gut twisted as a dark, Netflix-induced thought crawled into my mind. What if they wanted to put me in my place? What if they had some screwed up initiation test to make sure I was under the thumb, like ironing my hands or cutting my hair off? I gathered my ebony hair into my hands, pulling it over one shoulder and running my fingers through it.
“Tray,” a woman barked at me from behind the counter. She wore a frilly white apron and had more chins than I could count in the few seconds it took me to grab the tray and shuffle along the line.
Another woman ladled gravy over the meat and veg in the largest compartment on my tray. I mumbled a thank you before following Cassandra across the room.
“There's no place for manners in here,” Cassandra snipped as we took a seat at the back of the room. Instead of opposite her, I sat beside her, taking advantage of the view we had across the canteen. Kite and her crew took up centre stage, resting their feet on the surrounding benches to make sure no one sat near them – not that I suspected anyone would try. There seemed to be some unspoken codes hanging in the air and everyone was abiding to then without question. I was betting my survival banked on me knowing those codes, so vowed to learn them. And fast.

after a month? A yea? Two? - possible typo year?

There seemed to be some unspoken codes hanging in the air and everyone was abiding to then without question - Them not then.

Solid beginning. Enjoying it so far.

Samuel wrote: "after a month? A yea? Two? - possible typo year?

There seemed to be some unspoken codes hanging in the air and everyone was abiding to then without question - Them not then.

Solid beginning. Enjo..."

Thanks Samuel! Sorry these chapters aren't proofread - hopefully I'll catch most of them before the final version goes out :)

This is a great beginning and captures my interest quickly. I'm usually one to put down a book if I'm having a hard time with the first chapter. This is great! Excited for more!😊

Sara wrote: "This is a great beginning and captures my interest quickly. I'm usually one to put down a book if I'm having a hard time with the first chapter. This is great! Excited for more!😊"

Thanks so much Sara! Glad you enjoyed it :)
I'm soooo close to getting out the ARCS just waiting on my proofreader!

Caroline,
Will you be sending the ARC's to our emails or posting a link here in the Goodreads group?

Hooked already! Awesome

Chrissy wrote: "Hooked already! Awesome"

Thanks Chrissy!!

Denise wrote: "Caroline,
Will you be sending the ARC's to our emails or posting a link here in the Goodreads group?"

I will do both to make sure everyone gets a copy :)

Will it be on the kindle for free

Barbara "Cookie" wrote: "Will it be on the kindle for free"

Hi Barbara, I'll be sending out copies soon and you'll be able to download it for free in any format you like.
When it's released on Amazon it will be on sale at 0.99 for the first week then raise to 3.50 after that :)

Hi Caroline,

Loving the first Chapters, interest is captured straight away wanting to know more about Selena and Cassandra. :)

Jenni wrote: "Hi Caroline,

Loving the first Chapters, interest is captured straight away wanting to know more about Selena and Cassandra. :)"

Thanks Jenni! The third chapter has changed a bit so I'd advise you read it again when I send you the book :)