Life Without Ed® (with Jenni!) discussion

Please introduce yourself. Tell us as little or as much about yourself as you'd like.

One important question I want to pose is: what are you moving toward in life? (Maybe this group can help support your goals.)

We recover from our eating disorders, and we #RecoverLife.

** Please remember to keep your posts non-triggering. Per the rules of the group, no numbers (e.g., weights, calories, clothing sizes). Also, please refrain from posting specific eating disordered behaviors. We want to keep this group non-triggering and focused on the solution. Triggering posts will be deleted in order to protect our special group. **

Hi my name is Savannah I'm from Austin, TX and moved to Denver in 2010 after getting treatment for my ed. I stayed in Denver for college and got my bachelors in psychology and biology. I love school. I love reading... if you can't tell by the amount of books I have read or want to read on my profile haha. My favorite month is October. I am obsessed with everything that's flavored pumpkin because it reminds me of my grandmother. I love to write and do deep emotional collaging. I'm not a surface level type of person. I also have no filter which can both be great and terrible. I have this thing where I can't lie without smiling and if I do something that I think is wrong or that I shouldn't have done I immediately tell on myself. Yes high school was spent with being grounded a ton. But hey at least I was honest. I love the ocean, the sun, my cat Bow she's very adorable (sometimes), I want to be a child play therapist that works in the pediatric oncology unit in Austin,TX at Dell Children's Hospital. Grad school is going to happen soon and then I'm going to get my PhD, I told y'all I love school but I also love kids.

Im moving towards the unknown of what my life has in store for me. I know what I want, but as usual God always has a different plan. So I try to trust the process of life and start to do what I hope for and if my process in life is being asked to be altered I am trusting God and trying to trust myself. The unknown is a scary thing to look at, but if I start with my hopes and dreams then the unknown is apart of my journey. If I can befriend the unknown I can befriend myself and I can befriend life.

Savannah - I love what you wrote (per usual)! Your honesty is truly refreshing. And, I cannot wait for the day I can refer to you as "Dr. Savannah." You are going to help so many people, as you already do. Thanks for being the *first* official person to comment in the new book group. Woohoo...you took a risk in doing that. You are so right regarding fear of the unknown. My life, too, seems to go in directions that I don't necessarily plan for sometimes. It is a gift to connect with you here! Thank you.

Hi, my name is Jodi. I'm from Camby, Indiana (near Indianapolis). I'm 36 and my husband and I just had a baby girl in May. Needless to say, this has been a huge life change in an amazing way! Lydia was born five weeks and five days early, and we spent 16 days in the NICU following her birth. At just over three months, she's doing amazing with no delays. She's a healthy, happy little girl who is my world.

Like Savannah, I have a bachelor's degree in Psychology. I also have a focus in Biology and work with children. I'm currently mostly a stay-at-home mom, but work two evenings a week taking notes for college students with disabilities. I'm hoping to begin attending graduate school next fall to pursue a doctorate in Epidemiology and Biostatistics. I began my career in medical and psychological research and am hoping to work in that field again in a higher capacity.

I was first diagnosed with an eating disorder when I was 13. I struggled for many years and was basically forced into treatment for ED and PTSD in 2008. I'm doing a lot better than I was at one time, but even though I don't engage in behaviors nearly as often as I once did, the thoughts are still very much there.

My daughter, Lydia, is my biggest motivation for the full recovery that I've never really had. I don't ever want to model eating disordered thoughts, behaviors, etc to her or to make her question her worth, because of something that she sees in me. I never want her to have to go through the things that I have. I want to be the best mom that I can be, and know that I can't do that with Ed still in my head.

Hi there. I am Jenn. I live in Nashville. It's been a big year for me. I am 46 and this year, I'm an empty nester. I got divorced, admitted to myself I have an eating disorder, was diagnosed with PTSD and lost my job. I don't know if I always had an eating disorder or not. But, I know that in the last year or two, it kicked into high gear. Right now, I am having a hard time not engaging in ED behaviors every day. What am I moving toward right now? Trying to do what I need to in order to survive. What does that mean? Reduce my ED behaviors and understand it's going to be a process. I'm very type A so these struggles feel like failures to me constantly. Figuring out how I got where I am and why I do what I do. Trying to make friends after 19 years of marriage. Really, I am trying to find out who I am now. I have forgotten after so many years.

Hi there, my name is Abby! I'm from Nashville, TN and am actually a Nashville native as well! I'm currently in nursing school at a current university and hope to be a liscenced RN in a couple years.
In the (little) free time I get outside of school, I have my heart scattered a little bit of everywhere. I'm very involved at my church where I serve on leadership for the youth ministry. I have a heart for teens, especially teen girls. I also am a part of a team that leads college students to do medical mission work in Peru each May. That, too, has such a special place in my heart.

I am currently 2 months into recovery for an eating disorder that I've struggled with for 2 years. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. But ultimately, I want an Ed free life so badly. Ed has swallowed up so many things in my heart and life. I've lost a bit of myself along the way. I simply want to be free to live the way I was created to and to do the things to which I'm called.

Hi I'm Linda I'm 52 from NH . Have been in recovery maybe 2 ish yes or so actively ,it's the hardest job I've ever had. I'm a nurse and always feel I should know better but I'm being honest it's so hard just plain old hard to recover

Jodi wrote: "Hi, my name is Jodi. I'm from Camby, Indiana (near Indianapolis). I'm 36 and my husband and I just had a baby girl in May. Needless to say, this has been a huge life change in an amazing way! Lydia..."

Oh, Jodi, I absolutely love what you shared. Beautiful. And, congrats on sweet little Lydia. I can tell that you are a super inspiring mom. She is lucky to have you. Please keep sharing here. I look forward to hearing more. I wish there was a way for you to share a baby pic with us! :)

And, BTW: my next book is about PTSD. You are so strong to have battled both Ed and PTSD simultaneously. I know that a lot of people can relate, so I appreciate your sharing that.

Jennifer wrote: "Hi there. I am Jenn. I live in Nashville. It's been a big year for me. I am 46 and this year, I'm an empty nester. I got divorced, admitted to myself I have an eating disorder, was diagnosed with P..."

Dear Jenn - We have so much in common...our name, amazing Nashville, PTSD, Ed, divorce, type A...

I am deeply sorry to hear that you are facing so many challenges at the same time. I am so glad to know that you are seeking recovery and learning more. (Nashville has some stellar resources...and some pretty good music, too, I hear!) The fact that you posted an intro here, in my opinion, is a huge #RecoverLife kind of step. Wow. Keep taking steps like that. Your honesty is quite refreshing. I have a feeling that you are stronger than you think. (When I was at your stage of recovery time-wise, I would not have been strong enough to share what you did.)

Abigail wrote: "Hi there, my name is Abby! I'm from Nashville, TN and am actually a Nashville native as well! I'm currently in nursing school at a current university and hope to be a liscenced RN in a couple years..."

Aww ....Abby, I think you nailed it at the end there: "I simply want to be free to live the way I was created to and to do the things to which I'm called." Thanks for sharing that...and specifically for what you you did about your faith, too. Speaking of Life Without Ed (the book), I actually added spirituality to the new afterword...ten years later. When I originally wrote the book, Ed was still working to disconnect me from my higher power, God. Ed loves to disconnect us from life, purpose, passions, friends, family, etc. Thank you for sharing here. I know you are limited on time, so it means a lot. I look forward to hearing more! (And the Cuba trip sounds AWESOME.)

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Linda wrote: "Hi I'm Linda I'm 52 from NH . Have been in recovery maybe 2 ish yes or so actively ,it's the hardest job I've ever had. I'm a nurse and always feel I should know better but I'm being honest it's so..."

Hi Linda - You are so right. Recovery is indeed hard. In fact, during all of my recoveries (Ed, PTSD, depression), the mental illness said, "You will NEVER recover." (Major emphasis on "never.") In my life, I have come to understand: it is through our struggles that we stumble upon our strengths. That is actually a part of a quote written on the wall at Eating Recovery Center in Austin (I was just there today.) To expand on the quote, it says that we can ultimately begin to even be grateful for our struggles because, through them, we can grow more resilient, wiser, etc. That said, I know that I wasn't often grateful during the struggle. At that point, I sometimes needed to just focus my thoughts, and importantly, actions, on the next right thing for my recovery. Sometimes, that was sharing in a group like this. Other times, it was calling my therapist, dietitian, or doctor. I can't emphasize enough the importance of professional help. Connection, professional help, love, support, and persistence are what got me through. Hang in there. I am so sorry you are struggling. Please know that all of us in this group who have been through Ed can relate. We are here to support and encourage. Thank you for being brave and vulnerable.

Hi I'm Barbara. I'm from Maryland but moved by myself to Israel (yes the country lol) a little over a year ago. I'm currently in treatment though at Timberline Knolls. I'm really hoping to get through this current relapse stronger than before. I'm kinda super awkward so I'm just gonna end this here. But in response to Jenni's question. Right now, I'm moving toward discharge from treatment and then restarting my life and getting a job and apartment again.

Barbara wrote: "Hi I'm Barbara. I'm from Maryland but moved by myself to Israel (yes the country lol) a little over a year ago. I'm currently in treatment though at Timberline Knolls. I'm really hoping to get thro..."

Wow...Barbara: that is pretty amazing that you moved to Israel (the country!) all by yourself. And, I must say that is even more amazing that you have sought help for your eating disorder. Seeking treatment can be such a tough step, but you did it. One of my favorite parts of my job is getting to connect with our patients at Eating Recovery Center. It is so cool to see the shift from illness to, like you said, "restarting your life." You are doing it. You got this! I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts.

Hey Everyone :) I'm Alaura. I'm 28 and I started my recovery journey during my Freshman year of college, so probably about 10 years ago now! (yikes!). I've considered myself pretty much recovered for the past 8 years. There are some thoughts I still struggle with but I've been "Ed behavior" free since August 1, 2009. I was very lucky because I went to a university that had some pretty fantastic individuals that treated students and I was lucky enough to have a therapist, NP, and Dietitian working with me every week while I fought to recover. My dietitian is the one who recommended Life Without Ed to me and the last time I read it it was absolutely instrumental for me during my recovery. I am excited to re-read and see what areas of my life I can work through and heal as well as further silence that lingering "Ed" voice that sometimes creeps up even after all these years.

Right now, I work in customer service and while I like my co-workers and the job allows me to work from home, I don't feel like this career is where I want to end up. I would like to move toward a career I might really love that also makes me feel good about myself and the work I do every day. At this point, I'm not exactly sure where that is, but at the very least I think I'm working towards finding my happiness.

Hi, I'm Kate. I'm a psychology major and am currently taking time off from school to focus on recovery. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder during high school and went into (inpatient) treatment a little over a year ago. I am now out of inpatient and am working towards becoming recovered and being able to return to college. In addition to battling my eating disorder, I'm a survivor of physical and emotional abuse as well as sexual assault.

Hi, my name is Kim. I was diagnosed with anorexia in 1997. I went through inpatient treatment in January - February 1998. I went again in December 2000 and in January through February 2001. Even after treatment I was underweight. I currently deal with major depression. I was sexually abused as a kid. Grew up with an alcoholic dad and a weight conscious mom who was thin. I attempted suicide in March 2009 and woke up in the ICU. I remained in the hospital 32 days. My anorexia was pretty much at bay until 2009 although my weight had not changed since I left treatment. I live in Iowa and there are not any ED groups, for treatment I flew to California each time. I feel like I have been stuck ever since 2009. I completed college. Live on my own. Lost two friends I met in treatment, one from heart failure, one from suicide. Since they have gone, I don't have anyone I can really talk to who understands EDs. I am in therapy. I don't let people in easily. Currently struggling with ed thoughts and just wanting to quit life. I feel like I no longer have a purpose and I honestly don't know how to move forward.

Kim wrote: "Hi, my name is Kim. I was diagnosed with anorexia in 1997. I went through inpatient treatment in January - February 1998. I went again in December 2000 and in January through February 2001. Even af..."

Thanks for the message, Jenni. I have insomnia on top of everything else. I will considering texting. Thanks again!

Kim wrote: "Kim wrote: "Hi, my name is Kim. I was diagnosed with anorexia in 1997. I went through inpatient treatment in January - February 1998. I went again in December 2000 and in January through February 2..."

Kim - I totally get the insomnia thing, too. For me, with PTSD, nightmares and insomnia were the worst. The good news is: with recovery, that has all drastically improved. I am glad you got my message. Please let me know if I can send any other resources your way. I have been working in the mental field for over 15 years now, so I have learned a little. :) Never quit, and thanks for being so brave. Recovery is so hard, as you know, but it IS possible. Persistence, persistence, persistence. I believe in you!

Kate wrote: "Hi, I'm Kate. I'm a psychology major and am currently taking time off from school to focus on recovery. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder during high school and went into (inpatient) treatmen..."

Dear Kate - Can I please first just say how proud I am of you?! You have been working super hard ever since I met you. I admire you for taking time off from school to work on your recovery. That is a huge, courageous step. You got this! I can't wait to see you again. And thanks again for joining the group. #NeverQuit (including re technology...glad you figured out how to post!)

Jenni wrote: "Kate wrote: "Hi, I'm Kate. I'm a psychology major and am currently taking time off from school to focus on recovery. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder during high school and went into (inpati..."


Oh, and I thought you as well as others here might love these articles written by my wonderful college interns (yes, I am a proud intern mom):

7 Things I Learned about ED Recovery as a College Student
https://themighty.com/2017/08/eating-...

Why Its More Than Okay to Take Time Off from School for ED Treatment
https://themighty.com/2017/08/eating-...

Enjoy!

Alaura wrote: "Hey Everyone :) I'm Alaura. I'm 28 and I started my recovery journey during my Freshman year of college, so probably about 10 years ago now! (yikes!). I've considered myself pretty much recovered f..."

Thanks for joining us, Alaura! Your commitment to your recovery is incredible. I love how you keep moving forward and even work to give yourself a recovery boost when needed. You are quite an inspiration. It sounds like you had a strong treatment team, which can be such a key. I am grateful that your dietitian recommended my book!

Thanks for sharing about your career hopes. I, too, had many great jobs that just weren't the exact one for me. Now, I can see that all of these jobs were stepping stones to where I am now. I was a server, bartender, restaurant manger, usher, security guard (um, yes!), executive assistant, paralegal, and the list goes on and on. Many of these jobs gave me the time and flexibility to write and travel. I am deeply grateful for each one. I look forward to hearing where you land! #RecoverLife

Jenni, thanks for the article links! It's incredibly hard to take off from school, knowing I was *supposed* to graduate last year and am now behind. My sister who is younger than me will graduate before me. Recovery always comes first.. it's just sometimes really difficult to remember that.

Kate wrote: "Jenni, thanks for the article links! It's incredibly hard to take off from school, knowing I was *supposed* to graduate last year and am now behind. My sister who is younger than me will graduate b..."

Your words here will inspire many, Kate. Sometimes, as you know, recovery is taking the super hard road. The recovery action is often the one we are most afraid of. I have learned that in recovery, sometimes, being scared to death means we are on the right track! Keep taking those positive steps to take care of you.

Hi everyone..

Jenni, Thank you so much for hosting this group. I have realized recently that I have certainly reached a plateau in my recovery from anorexia and bulimia.

I want to start with a little about me outside of the ed.. I am 35 years old, I live in Charleston, South Carolina, but I am a Kentucky girl. I am a teacher, founder and coordinator of the Charleston NEDA Walk, wife of an amazing man, my favorite color is green, Autumn is my favorite season, and I am more of an introvert than extrovert. I have struggled with an eating disorder since I was 12 years old. I am living in recovery, but as I said, have reached a plateau. I want to finally let go of the ed thoughts. I have an amazing team in Charleston to support me along my continued road to recovery. I am thankful for this enriching experience to practice self-care and focus on letting go of ed totally.

Savannah wrote: "Hi my name is Savannah I'm from Austin, TX and moved to Denver in 2010 after getting treatment for my ed. I stayed in Denver for college and got my bachelors in psychology and biology. I love schoo..."

Kate wrote: "Jenni, thanks for the article links! It's incredibly hard to take off from school, knowing I was *supposed* to graduate last year and am now behind. My sister who is younger than me will graduate b..."

My favorite month is also October! Summer is my least favorite season.

Jenni wrote: "Kim wrote: "Kim wrote: "Hi, my name is Kim. I was diagnosed with anorexia in 1997. I went through inpatient treatment in January - February 1998. I went again in December 2000 and in January throug..."

Jenni, any resource help you can assist with would be geat. Thank you

Kim wrote: "Jenni wrote: "Kim wrote: "Kim wrote: "Hi, my name is Kim. I was diagnosed with anorexia in 1997. I went through inpatient treatment in January - February 1998. I went again in December 2000 and in ..."
Dear Kim - I love your dedication to recovery. The fact that you keep showing up is what it takes. In terms of more resources, for more treatment support, I'd highly recommend Eating Recovery Center. (I am a National Recovery Advocate; my former ED doctor works alongside me now...talk about full circle recovery story.) If you would like to discuss treatment options, let me know. I can personally connect you with one of our masters-level therapist for a free, confidential assessment. You can also just fill out the form here: https://jennischaefer.com/seek-help/ In terms of other resources, I have a whole page on my site with helpful links: https://jennischaefer.com/resources/ - On the links page, note free online and phone support meetings that have been highly recommended to me. If you like watching videos, there are plenty (as well as articles). And, Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDA) just released an amazing book, Eating Disorders Anonymous: The Story of How We Recovered from Our Eating Disorders. EDA is all about balance with food and FULL recovery. I hope this helps. I look forward to connecting more. Don't quit! (P.S. Thanks for reminding me to review the EDA book on Goodreads! I will do that soon.)

Jenni wrote: "Please introduce yourself. Tell us as little or as much about yourself as you'd like.

One important question I want to pose is: what are you moving toward in life? (Maybe this group can help supp..."

Sorry I am a little late on the intro :) My name is Annie and I am also from Nashville. I am pretty new to the world of disordered eating and have just recently been getting help for binge eating and disordered eating. I guess I didn't realize that I had an issue. I always thought I was "so fat" and got majorly caught up in all the diet culture health nut crap. In fact, my "Ed" voice I hear a lot is the "health nut". I spent so many years hating myself and my body. For me, it has been really hard not to restrict, cut out foods and just in general not continuously think about my body and how much I hate it and want to change it. Reading "Life Without Ed" opened my eyes and has been so healing already. I am really excited to delve deeper with people who understand what I am going through. It is so hard when no one understands disordered eating and how horrible the diet culture has impacted our lives :( It can be really lonely, no many how many friends you have.
On a personal note, I am married with two beautiful pups who I am absolutely obsessed with and an old cat who I love dearly. We live in East Nashville and love our neighborhood. I am an occupational therapy assistant and work with children who have learning disabilities, autism, and sensory processing disorders to name a few. While it is challenging at times, I love my job. Looking forward to connecting with this wonderful group of people and be helpful and supportive in any way I can.
If I had to say one thing I am moving toward in my life it would probably be peace and contentment-in all areas of my life. Whether it is body image, health, work, relationships- I just want to be at peace and live fully. I have spent so many years striving for unrealistic expectations of my body and enough is enough.

Hi I am Heather and have been in somewhat recovery for many years but since early July have fallen back down the rabbit hole. Finding it hard to climb back out. So I reached out to Jenni and she led me here :)

Heather wrote: "Hi I am Heather and have been in somewhat recovery for many years but since early July have fallen back down the rabbit hole. Finding it hard to climb back out. So I reached out to Jenni and she le..."

Heather, I am in the same situation you are in. Hang in there!!

You too Kim :)

Hi my name is Mandy. I am turning 45 next week. I have been recovering from both PTSD and Anorexia for many years now. I am finally finding some hope for recovery. I attend Eating disorders anonymous meetings and have been finding a lot of support and hope there. I volunteer at a school. I absolutely love it! That is one of the things that keeps me fighting. I am hopefully moving toward full recovery!

Hi Mandi! I am 46. I find sometimes it is hard being our age and dealing with this as people see it as a young people's discease . Nice to meet you

Thanks for all of your real, authentic inspirational introductions! I'm blown away by your responses. I was trying to respond individually, but I don't see how that's possible from the phone app. Anyone know? This question was also posed by Jennifer in the "technical question" thread. Thank you!! (Like I said, I'm learning! Just started using the app on my trip today. (I'd been using computer). 🙏 I'm in Dallas- my old home town. So excited to visit friends, family, speak with patients and their families, hang out with clinicians, and even play guitar. So grateful recovery brought me these gifts. #recoverlife

I made it here Jenni from NB 🇨🇦

Melody wrote: "Hi all! My name is Melody and I am from Fresno, CA. It's good to meet all of you. I am working on recovery of my eating disorder (technically EDNOS), PTSD, anxiety and depression. It's a long battl..."

Hi Melody - Welcome! Thanks for posting. So many people have written here about PTSD, so I wanted to share these articles I wrote real quick:

10 Reasons Why I Can't Just Get Over PTSD
https://themighty.com/2017/04/cant-ju...

25 Helpful Things to Say to a Loved One with PTSD
https://themighty.com/2017/06/what-to...

For those battling PTSD, these might be helpful to share with friends and/or family. PTSD is SO hard (just like ED recovery), but both are possible. And, both recoveries are worth all of the hard work and sweat.

I really appreciate your sharing here and bringing up EDNOS (now called OSFED). We will actually discuss a whole book all about that important topic, Almost Anorexic: Is My (or My Loved One's) Relationship with Food a Problem?. So, please stay tuned for that. I would love to hear your thoughts.

As you said, keep trying one day at a time. That is what it takes. You go this! #RecoverLife

Heather wrote: "I made it here Jenni from NB 🇨🇦"

That is so cool! I love where you live!

Heather wrote: "Hi I am Heather and have been in somewhat recovery for many years but since early July have fallen back down the rabbit hole. Finding it hard to climb back out. So I reached out to Jenni and she le..."

Hi Heather - I am so glad you made it here! Keep fighting. What you said about the rabbit hole is something I am sure that many reading this can relate to. (Right, you guys?!) As Melody said here, try to take things one day at a time. Never quit. Recovery can and does happen. I wrote this article about maintaining hope. Maybe you will find it helpful!

7 Keys to Maintaining Hope in Recovery
https://jennischaefer.com/blog/eating...

Thanks for your comments, Heather!!

Mandy wrote: "Hi my name is Mandy. I am turning 45 next week. I have been recovering from both PTSD and Anorexia for many years now. I am finally finding some hope for recovery. I attend Eating disorders anonymo..."

Welcome, Mandy! Thank you for joining our book group! That is so great that you volunteer. In my recovery, I found that moving toward life was such a key. Of course, I had to move away from Ed, too. That was just easier to do when I had something to move toward.

Thank you for bringing up PTSD. I posted some article links in this thread (my comment to Melody). I, too, had PTSD. Recovery from PTSD as well as EDs IS possible. My next book is about PTSD. Stay tuned, and thanks again for sharing. I am so happy to have you here!

April wrote: "Hi everyone..

Jenni, Thank you so much for hosting this group. I have realized recently that I have certainly reached a plateau in my recovery from anorexia and bulimia.

I want to start with a ..."

Hi April - Thanks for joining! And, I cannot wait to see you at the Charleston NEDA Walk. Your efforts in putting together the walk are so important...makes a difference in countless lives.

Appreciate your honesty re a plateau. I am sure many here can relate to that. In some ways, that is why I wrote my second book, Goodbye Ed, Hello Me: Recover from Your Eating Disorder and Fall in Love with Life, which we will discuss here as well. That is wonderful that you continue to see your treatment team. Continued professional care can be such a key for many of us.

I look forward to hearing more from you here (and seeing you in October)!

Annie wrote: "Jenni wrote: "Please introduce yourself. Tell us as little or as much about yourself as you'd like.

One important question I want to pose is: what are you moving toward in life? (Maybe this group..."

Oh, Annie, I love what you shared. Thank you for being so honest and real. Your work sounds incredible; you are seriously making a huge difference in so many lives.

I really appreciate your reading my book. And, I look forward to hearing more from you here!

BTW: here is a free, online resource that you might like re binge eating: https://www.facebook.com/bingeeatingc...

Also, I love East Nashville...such a cool neighborhood!

Hi There All! My name is Ashley, also from Nashville! Wow, what a big Nashville presence in this group. It sounds like we need to have a dog playdate Annie; I also have two pups. :)

I have had an eating disorder for about 8 years now (predominantly anorexia with an overexercising component), and first went to residential treatment in Denver at ERC in August of 2016. I'm back home now having gone through IOP and now am back full time in life, I guess you could say. I left my job as a personal trainer and strength coach when I went to residential treatment and that was one of the best moves I could have made for my recovery. I now work with a mental health agency in Nashville, specifically in a group home. The mental health field is something I want to get my feet wetter in and explore possibly going back for a Master's in something that would help me continue there.

I'm very glad I found this group as I've noticed I've definitely plateau'd in my recovery since reentering the real world again. I'm looking forward to starting to water my recovery garden again. :) Amazing how quickly I forgot to stay diligent about my recovery practices.

I'm moving towards a life of presence, accepting the impermanent nature of things, acting based on my values while acknowledging my feelings, and surrounding myself with a wise community of individuals who want those things as well. I want to learn and practice adjusting my sails to navigate life vs. letting my boat get blown over or even worse just staying on the beach with my head in the sand. :)

Good morning, my name is Jill I am a 49 year old registered nurse and licensed massage therapist. I suffer from disordered eating, anxiety depression and PTSD related to MVA trauma assault 3/2/2014 that has kept me from moving forward physically and emotionally. I feel like my friends and family sabotage any opportunity I might have for success or "moving forward" I was just recently falsely accused of being under the influence of drugs and alcohol and wrongfully terminated as a school nurse in the department of education for five years. I may drink one or two beers or a glass if out for dinner but do I go out party or do drugs, ever, past that drama and lifestyle of addiction. I live in Hawaii and have been GHB drug assimilated rape sexually assaulted threatened attacked by my so-called friends who all participate in recreational sex and drugs. I can not do that "sorry" it destroys me of my value and worth as a human being. I am trying to move forward a more meaningful job where I can be part of a team growing and supporting each other and more loving relationships but my fears past experience and having my trust and trust violated even from my my past therapist is making this difficult. Misunderstanding someone or worse yet not listening and then accusing someone of lying is bad enough but then judging and labeling someone is so cruel and extremely abusive. I am trying to move toward being alone right now because how severely hurt damaged and abused I have been by my family and friends. I can not trust or love people who have lied to me and used me in the past. They will continue if given the chance and opportunity in the future, it is just "who they are" and has no reflection on me. I find strength in myself by building love trust and confidence in knowing the things I can do for myself and learning to eat breathe read study communicate live again ... starting with myself "first" this time instead of always "oh no, that is okay, you go ahead of me, I will wait" I deserve to be first today and given the chance to succeed.

Melody wrote: "Hi all! My name is Melody and I am from Fresno, CA. It's good to meet all of you. I am working on recovery of my eating disorder (technically EDNOS), PTSD, anxiety and depression. It's a long battl..."

Hi Melody! Welcome to the group. I am thankful to be here as well.

Jenni wrote: "April wrote: "Hi everyone..

Jenni, Thank you so much for hosting this group. I have realized recently that I have certainly reached a plateau in my recovery from anorexia and bulimia.

I want to..."

Jenni, Thank you so much for the warm welcome! I can't wait to see you in October as well. I am so thankful that you will be here for the Charleston NEDA Walk!

Also, am I responding to posts in the correct location?! haha..

I also enjoy photography and found it to be an artistic outlet for me throughout my recovery. I just submitted a proposal for an exhibit to promote body positivity and health here in Charleston at a local art studio. I am hopeful that it will evolve soon so that I may use it as away to share the word about the NEDA Walk in October.

I really want to learn more about PTSD and if and, likely how much, I have overlooked it along my journey to recovery.

Jodi wrote: "Hi, my name is Jodi. I'm from Camby, Indiana (near Indianapolis). I'm 36 and my husband and I just had a baby girl in May. Needless to say, this has been a huge life change in an amazing way! Lydia..."


Congratulations on your baby girl!

Hi there, my name is Suzanne and I'm from the Netherlands, I'm 41 and have 2 daughters, a 4-year old and a 14-month old toddler. Although I thought I was doing just fine at an healthy weight , I recently noticed I really have reached this plateau for years now. Not restricting my meals, but also not enjoying the regular stuff that you can buy in the supermarkets.. always baking and cooking myself. And that takes up so much time! My oldest daughter, who has not eaten 1 single vegetable in her whole life, has started talking in terms of healthy and unhealthy, sugar or no sugar and it made me realize I need to let go... I'm so afraid I'm setting her up for the exact same thing. But I have no idea how. I have been in so many treatments for 15 years that I really don;t know what else to do to make the final step towards really being free. Looking forward to reading all the posts here!

Welcome Suzanne! I understand exactly what you mean about feeling as though you have reached a plateau. I relate and have realized I have been doing the same for a long time.