Support and Advice Group discussion

So, it's the summer before my senior year in high school and I have a lot that I wanted to do, like hanging out with friends, and reading and doing my community service hours for school. Well, my parents have a different idea. They made me get a job this summer, thinking that's what I wanted to do, but I told them that I didn't. I think they forgot because one of the local fast food places had a sign that they were hiring and they took me down there to get an application without even asking me if I wanted to or not. Now I have a job that I can't do well because I have hearing problems and am a little, or a lot, clumsy. I really want to quit, but my parents always said that I wasn't allowed to quit things. So now I'm stressed about getting my school stuff done, hanging out with friends, reading, and work. Plus, on my days off, my parents are having me help them build a barn, which I don't really mind because I love being with them. Any suggestions and/or advice?

I think it depends on why they want you to have a job. They could need the money for college

Well, I have to pay for college myself, like my older sister. And it's not like I'll be helping support my family or anything like that.

Sara wrote: "Mybe you should talk it out with them. (I know its easier said than done.)) I'm in the exact same grade as you, so I know how it is. My parents are like that too, you just kinda have to stand you'r..."

Oh, that'll be fun. I actually tried. I was talking about how this job wasn't for me because I couldn't hear and how I would need to figure out how to do my hours for school, but they just went on talking about how I'll get used to it, and how it won't be that bad. I know that they're probably right, but I still need time to be a kid, you know?

Maybe you should talk it out with your parents asking if you can work for part of the summer and for the other part, since this your last summer before college, with your friends and stuff. Because you said you have to pay for your tuition so your going to need to work anyway correct? Mite as well start in the summer? But still I say have a convo with you're parents making sure they know what you want to do and tell them if they are controlling you. Your almost a senior so they shouldn't be making choices for you. Especially not if your the one paying for your college!

Sara wrote: "It sounds to me that your parents are trying to prepare you for paying for college. At least your parents are trying to to help, mine are trying to get me out of the house as soon as possible. Mayb..."

I have, they just say that I'll do it on my days off, but on my days off, I'm too tired to do anything, or there's nothing for me to do.

Jordyn wrote: "Maybe you should talk it out with your parents asking if you can work for part of the summer and for the other part, since this your last summer before college, with your friends and stuff. Because..."

Thanks. The part with it being my last summer with friends is a point that I never thought of bringing up with them. I'll have to do that tomorrow before work :P.

No problem!

Sara wrote: "Well, I guess they can't completely force you to work... And when you turn 18 they definitely can't .. Idk this sounds so much like my parents...."

Well, I'm not 18 yet, so I don't know. I mean, they want to help me with college, but they completely control my life. I live where there's no cell service, so that's out of the picture, I can't have a Facebook until I'm 18, so can't do that. I don't have a car, so I have to go through them to leave anywhere. And even if I do, they want to know exactly where I'm going. I guess that's not such a bad thing, but I just want to be able to spread my wings and take a few steps by myself. Grr...

I think once you go to college and have all that freedom you will be just fine. It's just that teenage struggle being controlled and restrained, it feels, by our parents. They do it for the best. You have one more year and then you can spread your wings as wide as you want. Just if you try to get through this last year, you'll have that relief once you're at college and you're ore independent. But your job- of they know you struggle in hearing don't they know that you might need help sometimes? Maybe talk to a manager if that's the case? I don't know the job so I'm guessing that's one of the issues.

Jordyn wrote: "I think once you go to college and have all that freedom you will be just fine. It's just that teenage struggle being controlled and restrained, it feels, by our parents. They do it for the best. Y..."

Yeah, they know that sometimes, I have trouble hearing. I'm not deaf or anything, but I have trouble understanding people, especially when there's a lot of sound around. My dad is deaf in one of his ears, so they think that they know what it's like, but it's different. He can't tell if someone is talking, but I can. I just can't understand what they're saying. Oh, and the job is working at a dairy queen, if that helps.

I see how that can be frustrating/: is there another job that you would prefer to have that your parents would allow you to apply for? Maybe one that doesn't involve much customer service? Because even if your dad thinks he understands how it's hard then he's got to understand that a job like that isn't the easiest because it's loud in dq and you have to hear customers overtop of that. You think if you told your parents you would still work but a different job they would let you? Also if you want to hang out with your friends more this summer why not ask them to apply to a job with you? It would be a lot more fun with friends plus they could help you if you needed it because they're you're friends!

Jordyn wrote: "I see how that can be frustrating/: is there another job that you would prefer to have that your parents would allow you to apply for? Maybe one that doesn't involve much customer service? Because ..."

I totally get what your saying, but all of my friends already have jobs at McDonalds, so that won't work, and the one by me isn't hiring anymore, plus that wouldn't improve the situation of hearing. In all honesty, I didn't even want a job this summer, and I told them that, but they were all like 'Well, you can buy a car, and you can pay for college.' Yeah, those would help, but I would rather pass my Senior year than have a car and money for college.

Okay well if your friends will be working anyways might as well work a little also right? I know you don't want to but how else are you going to get the money for college? Or a car? From what my cousin told me senior year is a breeze so I mean that doesn't have to be a big worry. But if you don't get all the money for college you won't be able to have that freedom you want. If talking it out with your parents doesn't work and they still are forcing you to work then maybe just try to make the best of it. Know that you're working to gain freedom in the end. And it's not like it will take up everyday and every hour of your summer so you still have time with your friends.

Alright, thanks! I'll talk to them about it and try to figure something out with them. Thanks a lot. I have to go now, so I'll talk to them tomorrow. Thanks again!

Okay! Good luck(: no problem

So, I told them that I didn't like the job and that I didn't want to work anymore, but I don't think that they quite understood what I meant...

@Bitterblue why do you think that?

Well, I don't think that they realized that I want to quit. They kept saying that it'll get better and stuff. I know that it might, but I still want to quit, I guess.

I totally understand what you're feeling. Just try and telling them that the job isn't what you thought it would be, and you want to quit. @Bitterblue

Okay. I'll try. Thanks. Maybe it'll work!

@Butterblue of course, anything to help you.

I'll try tomorrow and let you know how it goes.

@Bitterblue alright good luck.

Thanks!

Okay, so I told them that I wanted to quit and they said that we would have to talk about it, but then we never have. Grrr...