The Humour Club discussion

The Murse



Great idea or an abomination that must be stopped at all costs?

I put that one next to the fanny pack! Won't find that in my accessories. However, I do find it convenient to carry around my laptop case! Shhh don't tell anyone...

I find the murse, itself, much less objectionable than the creepy look on the man's face in that picture. Besides, as a mom, I think I'd like someone else to be responsible for all the crap I tote around in my purse that belongs to other family members. Please! Someone take it all and why don't You hold my sunglasses, billfold, lip balm, etc. while you're at it?

Nearly, but not quite.

It's an all too obvious problem. I need somewhere to put my wallet, the smartphone, camera, Swiss army knife and the car brick/ fob/ key thing that we still call "car keys" even though there is only one and it looks nothing like a key.

A murse ... nope, sorry that doesn't do it for me. A little too metrosexual. Not the done thing. I think that a real man has 5 basic choices:

1. The "Ray Mears". A beaten rucksack slung casually over your shoulder, with oodles of pockets, webbing, built in compass and a clever gadget for dispensing drinking water through a choob. It conjures images of macho hiking across Death Valley.

2. Urban geek chic. A sturdy canvas briefcase that carries your laptop, ipad and other items of high tech. Now we're taking on the work-life balance whilst always staying connected.

3. The "Batman". The one we really all want but no-one has yet made. Ladies, but mostly gentlemen, I give you ... the utility belt. C'mon, admit it - you want one.

4. The "Gollum". Pocketses. Lots and lots of pocketses. Shirt pocketses for smartphones. Multi-pocketed trousers (aka pants). We're channelling our inner MacGuyver here.

5. The "usual". Asking your wife if she has space in her handbag for your camera, phone, wallet ...

A guy I once worked with used to carry an empty camera case filled with all his "essentials" which I thought was pretty clever.

"all his essentials" - is that a euphemism?

Well, you did leave condoms out of your list of key fobs and Swiss army knives...

Ye gods - forgot about those! I guess I have been married too long (but don't tell the missus I said that).

Hmmm...maybe she would agree with you?

Occasionally.

When I do the math to figure out how long we've been married, my husband is usually the one that says, "Seems like longer."

Will, there are in fact some rather cool utility belts out there, you just have to know where to look. The Steampunk world has had them for years...

http://www.katesclothing.co.uk/RQBL-S...

http://www.katesclothing.co.uk/RQBL-G...

I was thinking something less "bardish" and something more "Batmanish". Like this.

http://www.amazon.com/Riot-Threads-10...

Or maybe this...

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/45577842...

Think I'll stick with the bardish design...they're more suiting to my attire :-)

Still at least there's options out there for you all!

But if you wear a pocket vest like this

http://www.filson.com/products/travel...

You don't have to worry about murse snachers...

Now that is very Ray Mears...

Rodney wrote: "But if you wear a pocket vest like this

http://www.filson.com/products/travel...

You don't have to worry about murse snachers..."

A professor at the local college lost so much weight after a recent illness, he found that putting his car keys and wallet in his pants pockets caused them to sag below his hips. Rather than buying a murse or A BELT, he's taken to wearing his multi-pocketed fishing vest everywhere. Whatever works, I guess.

I've been trying to refrain from relating this story, but I can no longer help myself . . . when I was a child, an uncle had testicular cancer. My brother and I were so young, neither of us had heard the word "testicle" yet. We happened to wander into the kitchen when my parents were discussing my uncle's issue. I completely misunderstood and said something akin to, "why are they operating on him? He doesn't haven any tentacles." My father corrected me and said, "not tentacles, testicles." My brother asked what they were and after a short (not I see it as "uncomfortable") silence, my mother replied: "they are little suitcases God gave men to carry their balls in." I still didn't get it, but my brother did and insisted we leave the room.

Well, since my childhood reminiscence apparently traumatized some of you to the point of veering as far from this topic as possible, maybe I can offer a mea culpa. I present you, trends in menswear for 2014: http://www.askmen.com/fashion/galleri...

Lisa wrote: "Well, since my childhood reminiscence apparently traumatized some of you to the point of veering as far from this topic as possible, maybe I can offer a mea culpa. I present you, trends in menswear..."

I spent days trying to come up with a snappy answer to the testicles thing and finally gave up.

As to the menswear? My first response is WTF!, followed by Why aren't these guys carrying murses?

On the day after my fiftieth birthday, the world is not ready to see me dressed in number 3.

Will wrote: "On the day after my fiftieth birthday, the world is not ready to see me dressed in number 3."

With the right accessories, you could probably pull it off, Will.

Now there's a thought - accessories! Why didn't I think of that?

Not a fan of the murse, but I am a man bag fanatic. I own four. My addiction stems from my years as a journo and my liking for a nice suit. I just can't fit notebook, wallet, voice recorder, pens, phone, book, kindle, cigarettes, keys, hankies and other assorted crap into my pockets in a way that doesn't make me look like I have elephantiasis. I do get slagged for it a lot, mind you. The inference is that it is a bit effeminate - although the richest such comment came from a man in a hot pink polo.

Michael wrote: "The inference is that it is a bit effeminate - although the richest such comment came from a man in a hot pink polo. "

Was he also wearing man sandals?

Michael - I'm curious. Which was hot - the pink, the polo or the man?

Perhaps now is the time to bring up another men's wear issue...

BLACK SOCKS WITH SHORTS

This used to be a fashion disaster incurred by your grandfather. Now suddenly - it's COOL!

What gives?

Ah, Melki, you've hit on another favourite topic of mine. A few years back, my friend and I started Quentin and Crisp, the world's top ethical-folk-pop-rock duo. We wrote a song about the injustice suffered by socks-and-sandals wearers, and created a brand new product, the Sansock - an all-in-one socks-and-sandals combo. We even got a petition going to end the suffering.

Alas, we disbanded when I left Hungary, but our legacy remains on Youtube, including this fabulous infomercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuWf4...

Will, the man definitely was not hut. The pink polo hugged his rather large beer gut.

Great video!

And I have one word for you - kickstarter
Let's make those Sansocks a reality!

You know, I'd never thought of that. I could just imagine all the fifty-something British dads heading to Spain for the summer hols picking them up at the airport shop, from the shelf next to adapters and sunscreen.

Michael - and I am a fifty something (well, two days to be exact), British Dad!

Do you know those tired old family jokes that you simply have to say when a certain topic comes up?

You know the ones. Someone says "infamy" or "in for me" and that means that you have to say "infamy, infamy, everyone's got it in-for-me!"

It's a bit like your granddad's jokes. He doesn't know many, some of them are a little naughty, but when the trigger happens he just has to say them. And everybody groans because they've heard it a gazillion times before, but it's sort of alright because he's your granddad, even if he is a doddery old fart.

Well, all this talk of socks reminds me of one of my trigger jokes as I accelerate away from fifty towards doddery old fartdom myself.

Whenever someone mentions socks, as in sandals and socks or the right socks to wear with shorts or the wearing socks of in bed, I just can't resist asking:

"These socks ... are you sure they're safe?"

To which the reply hopefully will be ... "of course they're safe. Why do you ask?"

"Because the Government is always telling us to practise safe socks."

You have to say it out loud. Oh, never mind. It gives me a chuckle even if no-one else.

As a fellow 50 something, I fully understand over repeating the same tired joke(s) that still gives you (and only you) a chuckle, but makes everyone else groan.

I can't help myself if someone says "can I ask you a question?"

I always say "42!" or "briefs!"

Childish, but it amuses me.

I'm all in favor of guys learning to carry their own crap, rather than relying on us women to carry giant purses (I stopped carrying one when the boys stopped needing clean diapers and changes of clothing on any and all outings).

But for the extra uses for purses:
http://kateggleston.com/audio/Shit_hi...

Rebecca wrote: "I stopped carrying one when the boys stopped needing clean diapers and changes of c..."

I don't carry one either. If you can't shove it in a pocket, you don't need it.

Love the song!

The artist's mom was my 2nd grade teacher. . . Kat was in school with my next-oldest cousin. I love her work :)

Will, while not quite in my fifties yet, I have two kids and so completely appreciate your jokes. My wife told me that the instant our first child popped out, I started telling dad jokes such as your sock gag. Unfortunately, I think I always told such bad jokes.

Funnily enough, the 'infamy' gag is the one I remember the most from the Carry On movies. I still have a vivid picture of Kenneth Williams as Julius Caesar saying it as he was stabbed by Brutus.

Holy feminine side batman!

It's a man-purse! Let's call it what it is! BTW-Thanks for introducing me to this artist. Eh, what's is name?

Cartoonistandre wrote: "It's a man-purse! Let's call it what it is! BTW-Thanks for introducing me to this artist. Eh, what's is name?"

The strip is Reality Check by Dave Whamond - available on Go-comics.

Thanks, I'll put him on my go-to list.

We've actually been talking about getting my dad a man purse as a gift because he takes so long getting ready to leave the house when he has to go someplace. He takes longer than me or my mom, I think. I just grab my purse and a book and I'm good to go, whereas he grabs his hat, sunglasses, medication, a newsletter, and other random stuff.

Melissa wrote: "We've actually been talking about getting my dad a man purse as a gift because he takes so long getting ready to leave the house when he has to go someplace. He takes longer than me or my mom, I th..."

If you do get one for your dad, find a better, less ego-crushing name for it than 'man purse.' Try something that's less of a reminder of age and lowered-testosterone...perhaps 'go bag.'

Other than that, I would say that a woman having to wait on a man is simply cosmic karma. ;-)

My spouse has taken to using a Bat Utility belt (see above). He's kind of sold on the convenience of having a single holder for the important stuff.

Ah, but the problem with a man purse is that we have to remember to put stuff in it. You might find that you still have to wait for your Dad to find his sunglasses, medication, etc to put into the man purse.

Clearly an abomination.

(Mind you, the lack of pockets that is oddly common with women's clothing is just as mad).

On socks with sandals: the Romans wore socks when they campaigned in Britain. History does not record whether the locals laughed at them.

I support anything that keeps me from storing my date's stuff in my own purse.

I do not get socks with sandals (even in women, obviously). I mean, are you hot of cold? Make up your mind first, then get dressed!

It makes total sense in Seattle. If you ever want to wear your sandals, you'll need socks. It's just not that warm, but who wants to go through life never wearing sandals?