it's personal discussion
Journals : G-I
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☣ I Live for the present, but you can see the future in my eyes. ☣
My life is so complicated.Maybe that's because I'm just socially awkward, I don't know.
In the world, it's so hard to make friends it's hard to predict people so why try?
But then you get hurt and abandoned.
So why have friends?
because friends are there to pick you up when you fall down to back you up when you feel outnumbered and to make you happy when sad
I feel like no-one bothers to understand me to look deeper than just my eyes. To not fall from the lies that flutter from my lips.But why should they? When all a do is to keep to myself, so why try and befriend me?
When I come out of my shell no-one awaits. It's just me, the sky, the water, my bed and my books.
Don't even know why i try anymore...
When I close my eyes there is darkness. Colorful darkness, blue, purple, gray.Is that weird?
Firestar/Leon/Akuma i can't hold the demon inside me much longer wrote: "because friends are there to pick you up when you fall down to back you up when you feel outnumbered and to make you happy when sad"Firestar/Leon/Akuma i can't hold the demon inside me much longer wrote: "you're my friend"
But do you really know me?
Do you?
"dude I may not know you extremely well but I know u well enough to know your awesome and an intelligently bright person"
'I don't trust you,'How can you when the words that fall from my lips are careless lies.
'I don't love you,'
How can you when my heart is a piece of coal, waiting to be cut up and dumped away.
'But I don't hate you,'
'Why not?'
I'm not lovable I've been told by many that I'm useless and insecure.
Why not?
I cry too much and I complain.
Why not?
I hold on too tight when you let go, afraid when you go away.
'Because your human'
We fall, break, cry and make mistakes. We pull and push everyone away, but when they leave we wish they would have stayed. We regret the past and judge the future.
Because we have souls, feelings, and brains.
"We are stars in a lifetime of skies."
-Ash
today was okay.haven't read anything in days......
which is kinda sad.
i miss my books
I spend my time worrying about other peoples opinions when I should be thinking of my own.Occasionally on what I should wear, sometimes on how my face should look, and mostly on my personality.
I adjust it ever so often making sure the world doesn't rule me out as a freak, catching up on the latest tv shows even when I don't like them.
Making myself appear as if I am happy when I want to just go to a corner and hide.
I can't change that about myself its instinct, it became a habit that I can no longer let go. I want to be myself but the question is,
Who am I?
"I really don't know anymore..."
-Ash
so todayi have 18 homework assignments
i'm gonna dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
WHY GOD WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?????????!!?????????????
I was also supposed to wake up at 5;30and i woke up at 9:45
WHY
*currently drowning in a pile of school work*
*after spending 7 hours at rehearsals for the nutcracker**somebodyhelpmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*
can i just say that when my parents are affectionate i just want to slit my own throat
wait thats a bit specific nvm let me restate that, its just really TMI
people like to say that i'm morbid. I can't help that about myself, every time I put my fingers to the keyboard morbid things come out. I can't change that about myself as much as I'd like to, the darkest part of me remains still, untouched, every time I go to silence it I awaken again. Maybe I can get rid of it maybe I don't want to.
Fun fact: i was totally was once obsessed with the vampire diaries
Writer's block has me captive in its big cage
I once considered myself a smart girl when it came to LGBTQ things. But ((no offense to anyone. I fully support all genders)) but im f****** lost. wtf is genderfluid? Honestly though, someone explain this stuff to me cuz google ain't doing a good job.....
I don't have many people that I talk to on goodreads.I'm just an awkward person. Occasionally I try to venture out an talk to someone new, but the conversation always ends too soon leaving me feeling empty and alone. I guess I'm just too weird of a person. :/
I remember the time where my notifications where flooded with over 100+, now I barely get 20+ and my inbox had over 70 messages now I only get 5 a day.My Goodreads is becoming as empty as my soul.
so, I just finished reading other peoples journals, and they all have proper introductions and I should have one too so, I am going to change mine.,by time you newcomers get here it'll be all fixed
ᴀ ꜱ ʜ ✘ wrote: "so, I just finished reading other peoples journals, and they all have proper introductions and I should have one too so, I am going to change mine.,by time you newcomers get here it'll be all fixed"
I think yours is great, honestly! Mine, on the other hand, is just utter garbage. XD But if you want to change your intro. . . go for it! :D
ᴀ ꜱ ʜ ✘ wrote: "so, I just finished reading other peoples journals, and they all have proper introductions and I should have one too so, I am going to change mine.,by time you newcomers get here it'll be all fixed"
Your's is amazing. Mine is lame
ᴀ ꜱ ʜ ✘ wrote: "I don't have many people that I talk to on goodreads.I'm just an awkward person. Occasionally I try to venture out an talk to someone new, but the conversation always ends too soon leaving me feel..."
I'm awkward too!! I'm here lil sis
Lorien Rhys ~ Live for tomorrow wrote: "ᴀ ꜱ ʜ ✘ wrote: "so, I just finished reading other peoples journals, and they all have proper introductions and I should have one too so, I am going to change mine.,by time you newcomers get here i..."
lol, your looking at the finished product XD
❄️Ƙανу тнє Ƒαℓℓєη Aηgєℓ❄️ (Ɓνвαяму) (Aelonian) (AA family) wrote: "ᴀ ꜱ ʜ ✘ wrote: "so, I just finished reading other peoples journals, and they all have proper introductions and I should have one too so, I am going to change mine.,by time you newcomers get here i..."
Again the finished product XD
I've been invested in reading and doing other poop that I've forgotten to post, just finished my three-day nutcracker.Soooooooooooo
hello again...
time to catch up on school
Lillian wrote: "ᴀ ꜱ ʜ ✘ wrote: "i took a pill in Ibiza"You know I have half a mind to answer that with the rest of the song. xD"
XD
to show avicii i was cool
The thought of it haunts me. The idea of it.
I'm Ash. I would say I'm full of surprises, secrets, and dark thoughts.
Here are some things you should know about me.
I'm awkward, fun, and I rant about everything. I stay up late and then wake up early so I totally have unhealthy hours of sleep. I suck at English and history. I write dark poems, I'm dark myself
and depressedI have too much shit on my mind.Oh yeah, I just cussed. First time typing a bad word feels weird.I hope to gain some new friends.
Birthday: Apirl 29th
not that anyone caresSoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Welcome to my world of dark sorrows, weird moods and awkward stories.
NEWLY ADDED
AND K-POP
I am in love with BigBang the most. That's why they are the biggest gif.