Pakistani Readers discussion

As part of my course work,I have to write narratives(or stories whatever you wanna call em).Now i'm no aspiring author but I often enjoy writing these.T
This is one of my less cringey works.
I appreciate if some of you could rate it,just so i know where i stand.

Some things to Note:
I'm a 15 year old,10th grade O levels student.
We're given a word limit of 500 words and the quality might drop around the end as i reach the limit.
The story has only minor changes from what i originally wrote.
We usually just write in paragraphs but ill do my best to make it more readable.
Also the story had to include and revolve around the sentence
"Everybody had a different opinion about what to do with the parcel"

*********************



The air in the room was tense.Prominent men and women,world leaders filled the room with their presence.Some sat ramrod straight while other lounged in their chairs

Everyone had their eyes on the Strategos as his finger hovered above the button,the threat evident.
The North Korean representative rose .
"You don't have the gu-"
****************
We sat huddled around the parcel;our faces set in frowns.The room had been quiet for some time by then.

We all knew what it contained.The Codes.
Everybody had a different opinion about what to do with the parcel,nobody and could agree on anything.

The Strategos looked exhausted in his now rumpled military uniform.He'd been adamant in demanding that he be given the codes and therefore full control over the Coalition's Nuclear Arsenal,as he was in fact Commander of the armed forces.

The Prime Minister,much to the Stratego's aggravation believed that the codes should be given to the Hegemon so that they maybe disarmed.
And me?I just sat there blankly in my bright blue pajamas looking completely out of place.
In truth I'd already been having trouble filling the all too large shoes of the recently deceased Chief Intelligence Officer and to being summoned to a midnight meeting at such short notice left me dumb and hazy in the head.

I'd barely spoken for the entirety of the meeting and would have to give my vote sooner or later and so reasoning that the Prime Minister was wiser and that the Strategos sure as hell shouldn't hell that much power i bit the bullet.

"Alright gentlemen"I began,trying attract their attention."I've made my decision;seeing as no war is infinitely preferable to Nuclear war i vote disarmament!

The wizened PM looked at me as if to say 'I knew you'd come through'.
My eyes closed and a content sigh escaped my lips,'Crisis Averted' I thought.

Apparently the Strategos wasn't quite as happy with the vote seeing as how he turned beet red.Abandoning the PM with the codes and the the less than happy Strategos i turned and made for the door,only to feel a sharp pain in my back.
I began to wonder why my blue shirt was turning red and why my vision was going black.As i fell to the floor with a thud i realized I'd been shot.

*********************

When i finally came to my first emotion was surprise.How was I alive?
Glancing around I saw the PM on the floor,eyes cold and very much dead.Struggling into my seat I found the parcel open and the Launch codes gone.I gasped (or rather wheezed) when i realized his plan.

The Hegemon's Nuclear Prohibition Conference was under way adn leaders form all around the world would attend.The Strategos would destroy them with the very weapons they had come to dismantle.
But there was still hope.Reaching into the parcel i found what I was looking for.

In his haste the man had left behind one vital string of code.Overrides to the Nukes.Once executed the silos would lock shut and the ignore all prompts to fire.I could do it myself but seemed to be missing one teeny tiny thing.A working computer.

Clutching my chest i began to make my way to the compound's control room,each agonizing step making me want to collapse.The guard on duty laughed at my outfit before recognizing me and saluting.Only then did he notice the hole in my chest.Never have i seen a ma's face go through so many expressions.

I commandeered the staff inside while the guard bandaged my chest.Each Nuke would have to be individually taken care of and I had my hands full shouting orders.Even so i continually stole glances at the monitor showing the conference room.The Strategoes demanding alleigance,him shouting death threats,him aiming a gun at someone.
All the while his finger hovered above the big red launch button.

The team finished just as a petite Asian man said something to that galvanized the Strategos.He scowled and pressed hard on the launch switch.

Absolutely nothing happened.Not so much as a fly launched at that moment.Both rooms held their breath for a moment.Then all hell broke loose.People ran for the doors,bodyguards rushed inside,the Stratego's men gathered around him and he just stood there overcome with the realizatiion that he'd screwed up.

Damn. That shits way better than alex rider ....( I don’t know why I....... I just did)

This is so good. Dayumm

Thanks guys 😄.
Really appreciate it.

This is great!
Now I want to know what happened next.. :P

Thanks Zarshal!

I haven't actually finished it cause that was all that was needed for course work but i suppose i could if I thought of a plot.

Do share it if you do.

Just got some inspiration for a continuation,still working on eliminating the plot holes though.

Now that the euphoria of writing something that people actually appreciate has faded away I'm being to see where i could have done better and the sudden changing from one topic to another.

I just read it now, good going Ozair. There are minor grammatical mistakes but all in all its amazing, keep up the good work :)

Thanks alot Nayab.It means alot to me.

Nice write-up.. little grammatical errors here and there, but still interesting and intriguing. Keep writing!!

Thank you Priyanka,I appreciate it.
I do intend to write more and possibly possibly even participate in The Pakistani Readers short story competiton.
:)