Mental Illness Support Group discussion

This is where you can post about depression! Remember if you post upseting content mark it with '!!!'

I developed depression way back in 2005 or 2007. As an artist, it has dampen my productivity and non of my meds seem to work. Friends with the same problem simple say they get through it by forcing themselves to start something, anything. I sit and stare at the projects and find myself unable to move forward or even lift my hands. My OCD gets in the way, because everything I draw or paint MUST BE perfect.

How do others, especially those who are creative deal with cripling boouts of depression?

Gbraden wrote: "I developed depression way back in 2005 or 2007. As an artist, it has dampen my productivity and non of my meds seem to work. Friends with the same problem simple say they get through it by forcing..."

I used to write all the time, even with mental illness (it was even an inspiration), but no word came out since a long while. I'm also a perfectionist, like you, which doesn't help us since depression has such an impact on our self-esteem. I believe for me, the trick is to find what blocked my creativity, since it wasn't at the beginning of my depression. It's really hard, because when you draw, paint, write, play music or something else, it's a way to express yourself, it's a part of yourself and it feels like I have a missing limb. So to answer you, I do not deal with with it at all.

For you, what triggered the block of your creativity is obviously depression: you already have one answer. I believe you need to find the right therapist who will help you not to be so hard on yourself. Being a perfectionist, like I said, isn't helping and it's likely to be linked to your depression. Everything needs to be perfect, but depression is telling you that nothing you do is ever enough. You need to believe that you're enough and that whatever you draw or paint doesn't need to be perfect because perfection doesn't exist. That's a very important point that you need to work on with a good therapist and it might take time.

In the meantime, like it's been said in a previous comment by JV, you could try new medication to help with your OCD.

Gbraden wrote: "I developed depression way back in 2005 or 2007. As an artist, it has dampen my productivity and non of my meds seem to work. Friends with the same problem simple say they get through it by forcing..."

I'm sorry to hear that 😢 While I don't struggle with depression. I know how painful it can be

Gbraden wrote: "I developed depression way back in 2005 or 2007. As an artist, it has dampen my productivity and non of my meds seem to work. Friends with the same problem simple say they get through it by forcing..."

Hi Gbraden, I would also agree that forcing myself to start something/pick something up has been the only thing that works for me. I find that once I start, I get in that "artist groove" where the world kind of melts away and I zone out. But the starting in itself is often difficult.

I've never had OCD, so I'm not sure how that goes, but I am accustomed to striving for perfection. (I think many of us with depression feel like we're never good enough.) I try to cut myself some slack and remind myself that nobody/nothing is perfect. The main thing is that I'm creating something, and if it's not perfect, so be it.

I hope things start looking up for you!

Gbraden wrote: "I developed depression way back in 2005 or 2007. As an artist, it has dampen my productivity and non of my meds seem to work. Friends with the same problem simple say they get through it by forcing..."

I've suffered from depression before, and it was during my exams... In English, you're supposed to write a story for one page, and I know how it had affected me then...

Try doing something in which you can vent out all your feelings... You're an artist, so try making a painting in which you can express how you're feeling...

Krishna wrote: "I can understand....... depression blocks creativity and lowers self esteem....... i too suffered from depression and my self confidence became so low that i took some wrong decisions in life and s..."

That also helps

That’s soooo difficult!! You’re not alone in feeling those insecurities. The funny thing is, people keep telling me that as I grow older, I’ll stop being so sensitive about that stuff, but so far it hasn’t happened. Anything that feels like rejection just hurts. But know that this group has been amazing and so very supportive!! That and it seems there’s always someone online and ready to chat, which is super cool for those of us who have anxiety waiting for a reply. Hang in there, it will be alright. :)

I'm so sorry for how many people are struggling with depression here. It's an ugly thing. I used to struggle with it as well, and it's the strangest feeling of digging a well for myself deeper and deeper, making it harder to get out. It was like I held the shovel, and kept digging, even though I didn't want to. That's just what it felt like for me, I guess, until something happened to change it all.

All these things about bullying and lack of creativity are disheartening, but it's also wonderful to hear how strong you all are! I don't know what exactly you're going through, but depression is a painful thing, and you're not alone. I'm really glad to hear of how many people are friendly on goodreads. Gr is a really cool place filled with neat people.

Rakesh wrote: "Sophie Janet wrote: "I'm so sorry for how many people are struggling with depression here. It's an ugly thing. I used to struggle with it as well, and it's the strangest feeling of digging a well f..."

Once, I was standing in the room and was debating whether I was strong enough to keep standing or if my knees felt so weak, I would just fall to the floor, 'cause why not? I felt like no one else understood, which frustrated me because that leaves a feeling of loneliness. I get what you say about pressure building up when there is no support; or in my case, when the people surrounding you have no idea how to help.

I understand that mindset, too. I used to have it. That wall of separation? I felt like I was being tugged two different ways. And for me, personally, the only way I found anything real to hold onto was when I found Jesus.

Thank you, Rakesh, for your kind words. :) Goodreads was sort of a surprise for me, too. It's different than Instagram and such. And I love finding new bookish people! It's really cool to connect with people who share my awkward or quirky personality tastes.

A few years ago I was too critical of depressed people. I thought they are suffering because they choose it. But now when I have gone through that phase, I understand how hard it can be.
The most helpful things I found were talking to someone about it, writing a diary and of course reading books.
Love and peace to all!

Thanks JV and Rakesh for your kind words.

Lately, I've really been struggling with depression. Over the past few days, it's been a struggle just to get out of bed. My family is being very supportive and helping me as best they can but I'm still having a really hard time. Mostly, becuase I've never been depressed before. i have always been a flurry of emotions and now the silence is deafining

I know that feeling but hey you'll get through it. I something really stressing you?

Tucker wrote: "Lately, I've really been struggling with depression. Over the past few days, it's been a struggle just to get out of bed. My family is being very supportive and helping me as best they can but I'm ..."

That's not fun at all. I'm sorry you're having to go through that. Just remember that the lows will always pass even though it doesn't seem like they will. Maybe you're not on the right medications. Or maybe you just need someone to talk to. I find that talking to my therapist helps loads! If you need an online buddy to talk to, I'd be more than happy to be there for you!!

I have had depression while studying in school. It took my beautiful days away. I've been through a lot... I don't know how to explain the darkness that haunted my life. However finally by the time I completed my school, I overcame depression and moved on. I decided to write about my feelings when I walked through the emotional struggles. Here take a look::

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07M7L5SDF

If you find it interesting please recommend to others as well... I believe there are people out there waiting for such a book to help overcome the situation or at the least, to feel some warmth.

Thanks, everyone! I appreciate your encouragement!

So I've been waiting to talk about this... I was recently admitted to a mental hospital. Today was my first day (I come home for dinner and skeeping but that's basically it). Tbh, it is not nearly as scary as people think it is. Everyone there is super nice. It's mostly scary because I don't know anyone

JV wrote: "Tucker wrote: "So I've been waiting to talk about this... I was recently admitted to a mental hospital. Today was my first day (I come home for dinner and skeeping but that's basically it). Tbh, it..."

Thanks! I've already made a few friends

Rita, I'm so sorry to hear your suffering like this. Reading is especially hard when I'm depressed. Maybe try audiobooks? It could be your medication as well. I hope you start to feel better soon!

@Rita, hope you feel better soon! We're here if you want to talk :)

I know I have depression, but everyone around me denies it and says depression doesn't exist...

But does depression ever go away..? I mean, I had it once in 2016 in Sixth Grade, had it in 2018 in Eighth Grade, and I guess I'm falling once again...

It just... keeps coming back. Or resurfacing.

I guess mine are the same as yours...
The thing is that my parents don't exactly - what do I say - believe in depression and stuff, so I can't get medical help..
The only thing that actually helps me is GR tbh.

I tried to do it last year, but I guess the counsellor didn't believe it. I tried telling her the reason and she was like, "It's fine, it happens."
And my class teacher was worse than that....

Thanks, JV.

I'll make sure that I'll tell if this gets more serious :)
The same thing goes for you too :)

JV ❄️☃️❄️ wrote: "Deepthi wrote: "I'll make sure that I'll tell if this gets more serious :)
The same thing goes for you too :)"

Thanks so much, Deepthi! Hope you'll feel better soon! 🤗"

Anytime :)
Thanks again :)

Krishna wrote: "I can understand...... people around us are too ignorant about depression....... don't listen to them much"

That is so true

Rahul wrote: "very upset about my internal environment."

Could you explained n that a little better Rahul, your feelings? Home?

Gbraden wrote: "I developed depression way back in 2005 or 2007. As an artist, it has dampen my productivity
This really interests me because I wrote a story (unpublished) about an artist with depression and it was not easy to get inside her mind as I am not an artist. Is it realistic, to someone like you who has suffered this for real, for me to say this artist began to paint again but she could only paint with one colour - black? She began by just painting the whole canvas with black paint and then she used different brushes and tools to create different textures into the plain black surface of the paint. Then gradually the colours began to creep back into her work as she began to heal. I often play with the idea of mental stresses, like extreme moods, being viewed as colours.
That's why I'm very interested to talk to someone who has depression and really is an artist whose life is about colour.
I feel a bit awful asking this as it's like I'm trying to get help from people with depression. They're the ones who really need help.

We are mind body and spirit. Depression is of the mind. I wonder if sorting out the other two (body and spirit) and making them as healthy as possible and then they somehow drag the mind along with them, so to speak.
This does not come from any personal experience with depression but from working with children in my teaching days. I have often watched a sad child blossom into happiness because we have simply worked to improve their physical fitness. It also somehow seems to make them smarter. This convinced me of the link between body and mind. But perhaps the first question to ask of a depressed person is "How is your physical fitness?" Could the first step towards healing your mind, be to strengthen your body?
As for the spirit, maybe we need to use our mind to work out what spirit means for us, then maybe just ask it to help. Could it be as simple as looking inwards and asking ourselves for help? Perhaps I am dreaming! But at least it couldn't do any harm.
I also like to dream about miraculous cures for depression coming from the beings who live in the ocean. They have suffered from mental illnesses for so many millions of years longer than humans have, perhaps they may have learnt how to deal with it. I imagine they use music to heal it. Could this work?
I do not suffer from depression myself, but I have a deep interest in depression and other kinds of mental illness, which is why I am reading this thread.

Tucker wrote: "This is where you can post about depression! Remember if you post upseting content mark it with '!!!'"

I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for the past four years. I thought i was getting better but i guess not. i have panic attacks these days often. I fear i am going crazy soon. sometimes i just want to disappear. My fluctuating weight has been a constant struggle. I am new here. I just needed to let it out. There's so much to say but every time i try to talk about it nothing comes out of mouth.

Karthigha wrote: "Tucker wrote: "This is where you can post about depression! Remember if you post upseting content mark it with '!!!'"

I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for the past four years. I ..."

Thanks for joining us, Karthigha! That's what this group is for. I totally get it. It's hard for me to talk to. Feel free to chat about anything here!

Sam wrote: "!!! I have suffered from depression and anxiety from early childhood. I grew up in a very abusive and poor home and was bullied and isolated at school. I have been through all the phases such as lo..."

So sorry to hear that, Sam! I really hope you start to feel better soon. I'm sure things will start to get better. If you need to talk, we're here. Don't be afraid to get the help you need. Definitely, don't be afraid to check yourself into a hospital if you need a break from life.

Sam, no one has the same struggles but we all struggle. Yes at times it is tiring just to type on here but it helps to know we are here for each other. I am glad you like reading. That is what helps me escape. Not a long term answer but it gets me to the next day, week, month. Keep looking for help near you. On moment at a time. Feel free to chat here or send pm to me or others. Also when the weather is nice take a walk. Getting sunshine at least gives me a smile.

I have a hard time passing through my father's death. He died two years ago. My mother does not want any more relationship with her children. I do not know how to find happiness in my life beside my futur husband.

Sam wrote: "!!! I have suffered from depression and anxiety from early childhood. I grew up in a very abusive and poor home and was bullied and isolated at school. I have been through all the phases such as lo..."

yasmin wrote: "When my psychosis came to kick me down to the depths of despair, I was 10. Since then, until 18, I suffered with depression and suicidal ideation. Been in and out of hospital for months at a time. ..." Having a routine and reading book help me a lot with my depression. I totaly agree with you, book are amazing to escape reality.

Rahul wrote: "i can not tell something." Do you want to talk about something?

Vanessa wrote: "I have a hard time passing through my father's death. He died two years ago. My mother does not want any more relationship with her children. I do not know how to find happiness in my life beside m..."

Sorry to hear that! I lost my cousin to an accident two years ago. We weren't close but it still hurt. For you and your mother, it will take a while to start getting past such a big event. For now, take care of yourself. Take things slow. Don't overwhelm yourself. You have my well wishes

jas wrote: "When my psychosis came to kick me down to the depths of despair, I was 10. Since then, until 18, I suffered with depression and suicidal ideation. Been in and out of hospital for months at a time. ..."

Glad to hear you're doing a bit better. I also have been in and out of the hospital. Let us know if you ever need to talk

!!!
I've dealt with depression since before I can remember. About a year ago, I tried to kill myself with aspirin, but I was caught and sent to the hospital. I spent about a month there, working on mental health, and then I went to a two-month-long canoe-and-camping trip in Southeastern Alaska. Now, I'm on anti-depressants and an amalgamation of vitamins to help me make it through, and they seem to be working. I'm doing a bit better, but I'm still dealing with the effects of childhood mental/emotional abuse.
I can't be in the same building as my dad without panicking.
The abuse sort of ruined my self-esteem for years, until I managed to work and work and get it back, with a little help from my church. One of the major symptoms of my depression is immense issues with the future. Thinking too much about it just makes me feel hopeless, useless, and starts a chain of thoughts about how it might be better to die than to face that. Being a lesbian doesn't help, because although I'm proud of myself, I am worried about what the people at church would say, what I may have to deal with, and that I may never be able to find love, or the happily-ever-after that any hero wants, and often deserves. Furthermore, I want to change the world, but thinking of how is so overwhelming that it triggers more depression. Although I'm slowly getting better, and my antidepressants are making my mind feel better, I'm still having trouble.

Rita wrote: "I attempted suicide and almost succeeded on March 3rd. I spent most of the month of March on an inpatient psychiatric unit. I don't seem to be able to work up much enthusiasm for reading. I watch v..."

I understand that. When I'm dealing with a bout of depression, I have a hard time being able to do anything but lay on my bed or the couch and attempt sleep. One of the side effects of anti-depressants can be low concentration, and it can take a while to find anti-depressants that work with you best, according to my therapist. I wish you luck finding what's right for you.

I've attempted to end it 4 times, nearly succeeded 3. I credit Jacksepticeye's GTA V video where he says, "Everything is going to be alright, maybe not today, but eventually," for saving my life. Jack literally saved my life with nothing but words.

!!! I've dealt with crippling anxiety, depression, and PTSD for the better half of my life. I've found ways to help or cope, such as reading, and my fiance used to help me how he could and when he could. A little over two months ago I found out I was pregnant. I've wanted a baby for as long as I can remember, but I knew that as my life stands at the moment I wouldn't be able to provide a good life for my baby.. I'm 20 years old and still living with my mom, working a part time job, and trying my hardest to move out in the next year. My fiance is in the same boat but with a full time job. So he and I discussed and decided the best course of action would probably be an abortion. I grew up in extremely Roman Catholic family, and this decision was probably the hardest I've ever had to make in my life. We made the appointment and I spent the next two weeks going back and forth constantly wanting to just keep my precious baby, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to give my baby a good life any time soon the way that I live and I went through with the procedure. The time leading up to everything I started falling into an awful depression, and I was alone because my fiance started pulling away. After my appointment, I cried for days, and I avoided everyone in my family because no one knew what I had done. It had been exactly 1 month on Mother's Day and I couldn't stand it and I tried to commit suicide. I was so horrified with what I'd done, I hated myself, I do hate myself, right this very moment. My fiance found me and took me to the hospital, my family wrote it off as me being "dramatic" as usual, but my fiance was furious with me. Ever since he's hardly looked at me or talked to me. I feel like I'm drowning in self-loathing. I tried to tell my best friend but she thought I was being dramatic too. I think about death every day.. And I cry myself to sleep every night thinking about my baby. I hate what I did and I hate myself for it.

I just feel crushing depression most of the time and it's been getting worse when I'm around my fiance since he seems to not care anymore if I'm alright.

I am UBER depression Gay guys are super cute, now that I think about it, I'm just jealous and it's making me sad.

*TW: SELF HARM*

Hi everyone. I really scared myself last night; I’ve been self harm free for 264 days and yesterday I felt so alone and triggered. I came so close to harming. It took me literally pacing for about an hour while shaking and having multiple panic attacks in order for me to stop and essentially cry myself to sleep. Does anyone have any ideas on what to do when these feelings occur? Even after this long, the urges were completely overwhelming. I know the solutions like ‘writing stuff down’ and ‘going for a walk’ I’ve done CBT for my self harm when it was out of control. Any help would be hugely appreciated as I’m struggling. Thank you.

hey there, maddie, I know what you're going through as I'm currently struggling with self-harm myself. My psychologist suggested to me this thing in yoga she does. You basically use your hands to squeeze/rub down every bit yourself, as if you're wringing yourself out almost. It provides stimulation but also recenters your mind as you start with your arms, then torso, then legs.
Also, another psychologist when i was having a panic attack had me choose a color, then say aloud all the thing in the room that were that color. I hope this helps you<3

Hi Maddi, you can also do something that you like. For exemple : when I have panic attacks, I love taking a long bath, read a book, paint

Thank you so much for your suggestions! I’m so grateful to be able to be so open about my issues x