The Hopefuls discussion

Hello Hopefuls!
I could use some advice.
In a couple of days I’m supposed to start my course at university. This time I’ve chosen Spanish (I live in Sweden and here you can pick and choose separate courses without starting an actual program) and I should study for about six months. The thing is that I really don’t feel like doing this. I studied French last autumn, just after I graduated from high school and I didn’t like it. I didn’t learn anything and the whole semester just consisted of stress and crying. I just can’t deal with the pressure. This course is more or less the same, only that instead of French it’s Spanish (really?). There was a time when I wanted to become a translator or a teacher, but that was mostly to make people stop asking me what I was going to do with my life because, really, I have no idea.

This spring I stayed at home because I felt so lost and stressed out, I didn’t know what to do with my life and I had no motivation whatsoever. I consider myself to be an introvert and sitting at home reading books, taking long walks or writing make me perfectly happy and I felt like that was a good decision. So the question I’m asking you and myself is; Would it be OK to have another few months off just to gather some hope and take my time to find what I really want to do, or should I continue my course? I just feel lost and I don’t know what to do. The course is only for six months and I guess I could do it if I had to and it’s good to meet new people and do something with my life, but I feel like the only reason I want to study is to pretend that I actually do something. I have lost my interest in the subject and it won’t give me anything I feel like I could use. What is the right thing to do?

Hope you all have an amazing day! Take care of yourselves x

Maria wrote: "Hello Hopefuls!
I could use some advice.
In a couple of days I’m supposed to start my course at university. This time I’ve chosen Spanish (I live in Sweden and here you can pick and choose separa..."

Follow your heart, that is the right thing to do. Trust me. I am in the same boat as you. After high school I was stressed and had no clue what I wanted to do. So I took some time off. Did I feel guilty and awful because I wasn't at college (university)? For a little while, yes I did. But here is the thing. If you are not ready or sure then it is completely okay to wait. Or even if you decide you don't want to do it at all that is fine. I am so glad I took a year and a couple of months to chill and find out what I wanted to do. I know people would always ask me what I planned to do and I always said 'I don't know'. One day my teacher said I would be good teaching. Even though I disagreed I began telling people I planned on becoming a teacher. If I would have gone to college to become a teacher I would have been miserable. Teaching isn't for me. But while I was taking a break from school I discovered I really love psychology. So some time soon I will be beginning psychology classes. I am so excited. I am looking forward to learning. If you are dreading studying something, it is probably not the right path. Find something you love. If I hadn't of waited, I probably wouldn't have discovered this in time. I would have been studying for a career I would have hated. So my advice is this. If you feel like you should wait then wait. If you have no interest in the course, then don't take the course. If it makes you miserable, why study it? Why make it your career? And yes all of this is scary. I know. I have spent a lot of time stressed out and crying as well, but I am so glad I took some me time. My mama told me to not let society pressure me into doing anything. She said to live my life by my rules. If my mama and daddy weren't so supportive I don't know what I would have done. Take the time to find what makes you happy and feel fulfilled. It will be worth it. And don't let anyone make you feel bad for waiting okay? This is your life. Do what is best for you. I hope this helped. I am rooting for ya xD oh and also remember university has no age limit. You are still young. Everything will be okay. You deserve to be happy and choose what YOU want to do. I hope you have a lovely day :) <3

Hey :)

Firstly, I definitely don't think it would be a bad thing to stay home for a couple of months, or longer if that's what you decide you need! But I would say this: do you think that you'll feel that different in a couple of months? You may need to actually start this course (or at least a course, job, hobby etc.) before you find motivation again.

It is definitely COMPLETELY normal that you have no idea what you want to do in life, I know that I don't! (I'm 23). But the thing is, you don't need to know. Now is the time for trying different things and seeing what you enjoy. You can study random courses, take rubbish jobs, quit, find new hobbies...

I'm also somebody who is not against studying for studying's sake. It doesn't matter if you're studying something that won't lead straight into a career, if you're interested in it- you can learn new skills and it'll be something to put on your CV. It's good that your Spanish course is only six months long, it's not a three or four year degree programme that requires more commitment. If I were you, I'd think about starting the course, trying it out for a few weeks and seeing how you got on. That depends on cost and what will happen if you leave though. I've entered into quite a lot of scary things/ things I was unsure about with the attitude of "if I don't like it, I can just drip out/ go home if I want" and I find that takes some of the pressure off and makes it seem like less of a big commitment, if you just take it one day at a time. Try not to stress too much, remember that grades aren't everything and do fun things in your free time. And if it gets too stressful, or the course isn't for you, you can always leave. I definitely wouldn't recommend forcing yourself to carry on and feeling miserable.

Also, if you don't enjoy the Spanish course, you could always study something else no, something other than a language? You said you enjoyed reading and writing, maybe something to do with literature or creative writing? I suppose you have to weigh up what will be most beneficial to you. Also, studying's not for everyone, and loads of people find really good jobs without going to university. Your happiness is what's important though. Remember that you don't have to decide your whole future right now, just try different things and see what makes you happy.

I should mention that I may be a bit biased in this situation because I studied languages, including Spanish and French, at university. Therefore, I don't think that studying a language is ever a waste of time :P Let me know if you do start the course and ever want any help with Spanish! There is no easy choice in situations like these, but just remember that whatever you decide isn't final and you can change your mind as much as you like. Sometimes all you need is some time at home to figure things out. Good luck! :)

Thank you both for such wonderful answers! You have really wise words to tell and they helped me A LOT in making this decision.

I've come to the conclusion that right now university is not a good idea. It just doesn't work out. Also, today my mother has set me up to some inspirational/motivational course that is held in my hometown. I don't really know what it's about, but it's something to do during the days and I hope that it will give me some strength. My goal is to graduate from universty one day, but until then I have to make up my mind and actually feel ready. University will always be there.

I'm really grateful that you took the time to give me answers, I can't thank you enough! The future doesn't seem as scary as before :) Thank you x

Maria wrote: "Thank you both for such wonderful answers! You have really wise words to tell and they helped me A LOT in making this decision.

I've come to the conclusion that right now university is not a good ..."

Good luck to you :) It is nice to hear you have come to a decision that you are happy with and is best for you right now. Take things at your own pace. And that course sounds like it may help you out a lot, it was so kind of your mother to do that for you. :)
Us Hopefuls will always be here for you :)

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChgs...

This video may help. I found it today and it is really reassuring. :)

The video is called "EMBRACE THE FUTURE"

I liked the video! What a wise girl!

Aw, thanks again! I'm feeling so much better right now. I guess it's just hard to actually decide things, but once you settle your mind, things are going to work out :)

Alright sweety, It took me a really long time to figure this out but trust me when I did it was so worth it. Noone is born knowing how to live a life. They aren't born with expectations, or with knowledge of really anything. Think about what growing yp really means. Learning to read, walk, talk, function and take care of yourself is something that takes years to acomplish. And then a few more years to get into the habit of actually doing. An identity and a personality is not something that someone can teach you how to have it's not something someone can give you. Your life is your own and no one elses. What are you acomplishing in life trying to force yourself into a career path that you hate or have no interest in. Sure evetually you might get a degree or a career but it's not benefiting you. You've learnt nothing about yourself or the world around you when you spend years trying to become something you don't want to be. Life is meant to be lived in fullfillment and a happiness that only you can find for yourself. Other people might try to pressure you but in the end it is your life and it should be up to YOU. So what if you don't have a great job, so what if you're not doing what people expect of you, and so what if you're not the place in life that everyone tells you you should be in. It's okay to be scared, or to be hesitent about what you want. the hardest part about this world is living in it and you deserve to be able to take your time doing it. So yes hun, i think you DESERVE to have more time off if that's what you feel you need.

I read in a book that "It takes a life to figure out how to live", or something similar. What you're telling me seems to be the content of that phrase, that life is meant to be lived by no one else but yourself - and I'm so grateful that you pointed it out to me! :) Today it feels like society tells us that having a successful career is the same as happiness, and although I don't feel a lot of pressure from my own family I think the pressure from the society keeps getting in the way. In the same time it feels like I'm on my way to fully understand that my own life is supposed to be lived by my own standards and not anyone else's. It's so easy to be stopped by fear or doubt but in the end we all have the same goal; to achieve happiness.

Thank you for your reply! I really needed it :)

Macayla wrote: "Alright sweety, It took me a really long time to figure this out but trust me when I did it was so worth it. Noone is born knowing how to live a life. They aren't born with expectations, or with kn..."

Very well said :D

Macayla wrote: "Alright sweety, It took me a really long time to figure this out but trust me when I did it was so worth it. Noone is born knowing how to live a life. They aren't born with expectations, or with kn..."

And yeah my brother once said "Literally everyone you see has no idea what they are doing so don't worry if you don't either because everyone is trying to figure things out too." or something along those lines. Your comment reminded me of that :)

Maria wrote: "I read in a book that "It takes a life to figure out how to live", or something similar. What you're telling me seems to be the content of that phrase, that life is meant to be lived by no one else..."

you're welcome hun. I'm glad it helped and whatever your decision just know that you have supporters here <3

Ashley wrote: "Macayla wrote: "Alright sweety, It took me a really long time to figure this out but trust me when I did it was so worth it. Noone is born knowing how to live a life. They aren't born with expectat..."

thanks ^^