Writing Passionates discussion

FORBIDDEN WHISPER


Behind the normal rotation of the earth, there's a secret community where the people have their own special abilities.
Between their worlds there are societies who are creating hidden wars that cause visible mass destructions.
When Charmaine Steph Howell discovered that her blood line belongs to a secret society, she was ready then to hear more of the fact even if it causes her revenge.
Revenge for those people who bounded her life span even if it means a bad omen; fighting the man who saved her life more than she ever expected.




i need an advice if i really need to continue this one or not..please help.. i have my first six chapters of but i'm still hesitating if will continue this one...


here:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

thanx paige,,, actually, the manuscript is for my sister. of course, since i'm the author i'm enjoying writing this. it's just that i want to know your commments if you like it or not.

Hi Rollie
I like most of the premise of this. One suggestion: instead of making the behind-the-scenes societies warring, why not give them the job of keeping peace? Kinda like the fairy myths. That would give a focus on one baddie group. I'm curious to see how you'll develop the world 'behind the normal rotation of the earth'. Quite brilliant.
Also, pls. explain: why revenge? and 'those people who bounded her life span'.

yeah... thanx S.S. thanks for your suggestions.
revenge for those people who actually cursed her.
they cursed her that she can't go beyond the age 17.
hehehe

sorry i mean, she'll die when she turn 17..LOL

anyway, i already edited my manuscript. please comment
here' the link:
http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...