The Catholic Book Club discussion

3. Have you ever been in a situation which you could not have got through without faith?

Oh yes. I'm a cancer survivor. And eleven years ago my daughter spent three months in ICU paralyzed from her shoulders down as a result of a spinal cord injury. She was not expected to survive, much less regain mobility, and I spent most of the next year and more with her, crying and praying and

begging God to let her live to be with her husband and little girls. She had one complication after another, stroke, organ failure, collapsed lung and more, but she beat the odds. We never gave up even when the doctors--not all of them, praise God--suggested that we do so. She had to relearn letters, numbers, reading, and after years of therapy and persistence, gets along in a wheelchair and has some leg movement, and with so many recent breakthroughs in brain research, may very well walk again. I have witnessed too many everyday miracles and know that God gives us strength just when we need it, and sends the right people to us when we feel alone and list.

Oops I meant lost. And I learned to trust in God and His timing. That's a high maintenance virtue, though.

Madeleine wrote: "Oh yes. I'm a cancer survivor. And eleven years ago my daughter spent three months in ICU paralyzed from her shoulders down as a result of a spinal cord injury. She was not expected to survive, muc..."

I also had cancer. When I was walking to my truck after my diagnosis I prayed: "Jesus, you have to carry this one, I can't." I would rather go through that three times over than deal with what you've had to bear with your daughter. How wonderful that she has recovered as much as she has. I will keep her in my prayers.

Yes, John, it really is so much harder to watch your child suffer than bear it yourself. Sitting at her bedside, I often asked God to give me her pain. He answered that one too, later. The emotional fallout from a brain injury is just as hard, just as heartbreaking. Thank you for your prayers, too.

Madeleine wrote: "Yes, John, it really is so much harder to watch your child suffer than bear it yourself. Sitting at her bedside, I often asked God to give me her pain. He answered that one too, later. The emotiona..."

It is. One of my sisters was in a bad car accident many years ago that stole her medical career from her. She still deals with issues from it today, emotional and physical. Though she went back to school to get another degree in epidemiology and now works for the state Health Department studying brain trauma. She has also come back to the Church after her injury, praise God.

My daughter, too, had a good career in human resources, and loved her work. She had also fallen away from the Church, although she had joined her local Baptist community. I had hoped she would return to the faith, but that didn't happen. Still after St. Monica to help me with my children on that one. Our relationship is still in recovery, but I have accepted that it will continue to be a different one than what we shared before the event.

I have tried to learn all I can about brain injuries too. What is amazing is how much new research has uncovered in the past decade. For a time she was able to take advantage of state-of-the-art therapy (REACT) for victims of paralysis--she made some amazing strides, but caught an infection that bumped her from the program. Still hoping somehow she can make use of what she learned and possibly get back in that program or something like it.

I love reading inspiring personal stories that bring us closer to G-d. Yes, I have had some things happen to me when my child was born and something wasn't right with her. All of a sudden everything fell apart around me - my family, my new daughter, and my health took a quick turn for the worse. I was not religious in any way, but at rock bottom I finally began praying again for really the first time ever. And things got better and better once I just let go in this way, now I can be ever grateful I have my family intact and cared for, my daughter is improving and I have found a way to live with my own health issues that makes for a good life. So grateful for all this, it has truly been a journey, and I couldn't have succeeded without my new faith and G-d's help.

Emily wrote: I love reading inspiring personal stories that bring us closer to G-d. Yes, I have had some things happen to me when my child was born and something wasn't right with her. All of a sudden everything fell apart around me...
Yes, Emily, it does help so much to share these experiences. When I hit rock bottom the first time I received some awesome and unexpected support from some former classmates led by my best friend and another who had gone through a nightmare of her own with her son. By the time the bottom fell out again I had learned I needed to trust God and surrender to His will and His timing, and that such trust and surrender is a high maintenance habit and must be renewed and reaffirmed. I remember when I was in school with those same friends and we would complain and the nuns would tell us to "offer it up." Then we would roll our eyes. Not any more. I believe this is my big takeaway from reading St. Therese's Story of a Soul: that our sufferings can be turned into gifts and offered up for others who have it so much worse. God bless you and your family. You are on my prayer list now too.

Thank you so much for your own story and encouragement, Madeleine. I wish I'd had such an on point experience at Catholic school as you did when the nuns suggested to offer it up! I will keep that in my mantra repertoire! I have lots to learn about faith now, but I'm so glad that we can learn just as much from others and their own experiences/sufferings.