Our Marginalized Relations discussion

That is definitely there, Emma. But then also it really depends on what is "normal". And that, I would say, is dependent on the group of people you are amongst.

"what is normal for the spider is choas for the fly"

All about perspective I guess. I remember growing up I was always the odd ball out. But now that I'm out of school; have the ability to pick and choose my friends as opposed to being locked by geography/proximity. I have found my tribe.

It's not all sunshine and roses; but then again I don't think anybody has that.

Exactly, what is "normal" totally depends on the single person...

“Not Normal”... I kind of detest that term. It makes me angry and resentful.
Being that I was able to express my feelings to my best friend when I was 17 years old after he helped me through depression. I gave him a birthday card that year and in it wrote “I love you man”. His father found the card and immediately forbid him from hanging around with me anymore. Instilling in my friend that if he spent time with me that he would be called a faggot and that I was “not normal”. I then had to sit back and watch while my friend did things with everyone else that he used to do with me but couldn’t and wouldn’t because to do those things with me, was “not normal”.

I have not had a best friend since that time until recent years.

The thing is that I didn’t only lose my best friend at that time, I also liked his older sister. I liked her since the fourth grade. I still remember swinging on the swing-set beside her all those years ago on the elementary school playground where I looked over at her and told her that I liked her at which point she jumped off the swings and ran away.

The week before my friend’s dad stopped my friend and I from being friends I had asked his sister if she would go out with me. The thing with that is, I was so shy and closed and afraid that for me to be able to muster the courage to ask her out verbally and not write my feelings was proof as to how much she meant to me because if she didn’t mean that much I would have never been able to do it.

Her response was “Sure!” Dummy me... I was so shocked that she said yes that I didn’t immediately seal the deal so to speak and said something stupid like “I didn’t have a specific day in mind, I was just wondering”. To which she replied “Definitely!”

Then the stuff with my friend and his dad happened. I was so hurt and dumbfounded that I went right back into depression. I felt that I needed to fix what had happened and save my friendship because of how much having that friend in my life meant to me. At that point I made a decision that I feel no one at 17 should have to make... I felt that dealing with fixing my friendship and dealing with depression again and then adding his sister on to everything was going to pull me in so many different directions that it would not have been fair to her for me to be with her and not be able to give her my complete attention. So breaking my heart, I decided that I had to let her go and that if it was meant to be that it would come back around again. My best friend and I were never the same again and his sister got married and divorced and remarried.

So as I said the term “Not Normal” angers me. It resonates deeply with me and is hurtful and is not fair to be used on anyone.