The Best Of... discussion

This made me laugh: "I take comfort in the fact that my neighbor will probably die before me. But I'll be at his funeral, leaf blowing through the entire #%&*@# ceremony."

Sunday morning in the neighborhood, anyone? ;)

Hell yes! And sometimes Saturday too. And when its not a leaf blower, its a power washer!

We have a neighbor we call "Bud"...typical "good 'ole boy," giant pickup truck, beer gut, the whole deal. He'll sit in his back yard all day every day of the year with a crackling bonfire... I don't know his actual name, but he is an endless source of entertainment and speculation for us (we live on the top of a hill and he lives at the bottom). He has a dog we call "Shep"...also not her name, but she's a shepherd and we love her. Anyway, Bud keeps things pretty rustic and natural. Earlier this summer, he even pitched a gigantic green tent in the yard...blocking our view of the bonfires and his archery range...drat! So, last week he pulled out all the stops and started mowing, and leaf blowing, and pressure washing...got up on the roof, pressure washed, got down on the deck, pressure washed. This racket went on for a solid week, and we thought "Oh no! Bud must be getting ready to sell the house!!" We would hate to lose his "character". Then on Saturday it all came together. ...turns out Bud is something of a Martha Stewart, and he was just preparing for a party! Tables came out, green plastic table cloths were dropped, a beverage dispenser laid out. That night when the sun went down and the fire was crackling and guests were laughing, white twinkly lights lit up the trees and the edge of the deck. Who knew...Bud's quite the birthday boy! ha! One morning he came out onto the deck in a short red geisha robe and strappy sandals...I should have know there was another side to that gap-toothed country boy...

Funny. We like watching our neighbor across the road also, but he's NOISY ! Just when we want to sit out on our deck, he gets out his gas powered lawn mower, weed trimmer, tree trimmer. In the Fall it's the gas powered leaf blower, that blows the leaves on to our property. In the winter he is snowblowing everything except in front of our driveway (he doesn't like us). During hurricanes he is out there blowing, trimming, cutting and surveying the neighborhood. We call him Gadget.

My neighbors are assholes.

I bought the house next door to my parents, thinking that way as they got older I could keep an eye on them, and referee . . . No good deed goes unpunished /facepalm

Renee wrote: "My neighbors are assholes.

I bought the house next door to my parents, thinking that way as they got older I could keep an eye on them, and referee . . . No good deed goes unpunished /facepalm"

Ever thought of moving?

I can't, Karen. I'm barely hanging on as it is.

Unless I could find a nice comfy bridge to live under, one that allows dogs.

My sister's got them moving to California with her in a few months. They still have a few antiques mom hasn't already taken out to her and mom's got jewelry the sister wants. Plus she wants to make sure they don't leave me the house or anything.

What they ARE leaving me with is a newish hot water tank and a new furnace that are ruined (hoping the furnace can be fixed) from where I let them tear down my car port and come through my backyard with heavy equipment to re-grade theirs and do some foundation work for an outbuilding. Not only did mom tell the contractor to leave after he'd gotten all the debris out of their yard — shoved into mine, dad had it graded (and he's a civil engineer with decades of designing drainage) so that all their rainwater cascaded down into my backyard . . . and into my basement . . .

Ever pumped two feet of water out of a basement with a hand-pump? On several occasions.?

And then there were the termite riddled planks mom told dad to get rid of . . . so, without my knowing it, he shoved them down the back basement door that I never use. It's out of sight and I always just kept it shut and bolted, no reason to ever go back there. Not only did I wind up with termites, they wouldn't allow the door to close so when winter hit all the plumbing in the back of the house (laundry room, kitchen) froze and burst.

I knew I was screwing up when I let them have access to do that excavation, but the repercussions would have been biblical if I hadn't.

Life with an NPD mother . . .

Once they're gone I figure that will be the end of contact, which is a relief. I'm sure they'll try, but I'm notorious for not answering my phone and the only e-mail they have is an old one I don't use :D

...well that's a lot to take in first thing on a Sunday morning, Renee...you might have just taken the "Worst Family Nightmare" trophy from me...

Speaking of pumping water, I have a great story I call "The 5-Gallon Bucket" (I name my funny life stories) that I'll tell some time. It involves cedar trees, sewer lines, a snake on a drill motor and...a 5-gallon bucket.

Karen: Funny! You name you wacky neighbors too ;) Mine on the other side are "Battle Axe and Hose Nose" (she's a hag and he's end-stage COPD or emphysema and carries around an oxygen tank).

Life is a barrel of monkeys.

I'm kind of enjoying how crazy it's going to make them, not being able to get to me.

My mother's frustration, taken out on my dad . . . and sooner or later the sister will get a share of it, and since she is my mother's doppelganger it should get interesting. She's GOT to have someone to blame for everything.

I can see my sister's husband bailing, lol. He's going to be bearing the brunt of the financial burden as she's finally had to go out on her own after almost two decades at the same law firm without any partnership or even junior partnership offers. I don't see that going well. You stay that long at a firm without serious advancement and it's pretty telling that you're not much of an attorney.

Funny. His birthday is on the same day as mine, many years before, but . . . I swear, if he ever decks her I will go to California and testify on his behalf :D

Renee wrote: "I'm kind of enjoying how crazy it's going to make them, not being able to get to me.

My mother's frustration, taken out on my dad . . . and sooner or later the sister will get a share of it, and s..."

Sounds like my mom and sister...almost exactly...

2 decades w/o an offer?! She had a good run...as you said, usually it's pretty clear if you aren't partnered in after X-# of years...5 would be long, I would think...you're literally dead wood and out the door. Costs money to keep someone like that on the books. And trying to make it on your own as an attorney, in California...good luck sistah!

Leslie wrote: "...well that's a lot to take in first thing on a Sunday morning, Renee...you might have just taken the "Worst Family Nightmare" trophy from me...

Speaking of pumping water, I have a great story ..."

Oh dear, I know I'm going to sound like I am poking fun at my son, but I have to find the humor. When our family gets together (rarely all of us) it's my son with schizoaffective and psychosis, my nephew who is schizophrenic, and my niece who's bipolar. And most of us don't even drink!!! If one isn't hearing things, the other one is, and my niece is talking loudly a mile a minute.

I feel very fortunate that my parents have changed and are really good with my son. They have gotten so much better with age.

Renee, I didn't mean to sound as if it would be easy for you to just pick up and move, sorry if it sounded that way.
Okay so far we have battle ax, hose nose, gadget.
Renee, what can we call your neighbors?

I usually refer to them as "The Overlords," lol.

Now, the Mexican family across the street from me is delightful, and their little dog (yup, you guessed it, he's a Chihuahua) is in LUUUUURVE with my Fila Brasileiro bitch.

You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? They're always so condescending. 'Ah, the book was much better than the movie.' Oh really? What I enjoyed about the movie: no reading. ~Jim Gaffigan

Family to avoid like the plague. Not an uncommon predicament. But there's a great novel in this, Renee! It would take a while to find the tone but you can do it. Meanwhile, I'm sorry you are going through this effed up s--t.

It may come through one of the characters in The Black Dog Dialogues. She's already let me know she expects me to write her story. A couple of my betas who are long time friends (one of whom is already in the story) immediately laughed, even before Jez's dog made her entrance, and remarked, "that's you." Jez wasn't intended that way, I really didn't even know she was in the story until she showed up.

This story's been like a runaway train.

It may be awhile before I tackle Jez's story.

..."I don't know what the fellow was talking about who claimed there is a difference between reading and thinking. Sounds like a pompous ass to me."

Wow...it's been a while since I've been referred to as a fellow. Ha ha! ;)

Leslie wrote: "..."I don't know what the fellow was talking about who claimed there is a difference between reading and thinking. Sounds like a pompous ass to me."

Wow...it's been a while since I've been referr..."

You don't look like a fellow.

Well, considering the comment came from someone who seems to have very low comprehension/observation skills, it comes as little surprise; nor can he see the irony in referring to my comment as pompous considering his dismissal of some of Melville's most intricate humor and symbolism.