✎ Just Keep Writing ✐ discussion

WARNING: CONTENTS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS

Okayyyy well hellooooooo thereeeee here's where I'll post some short story snippets and my weird poetry... So yeah. Warning you now that sometimes my ideas are.... strange. Like that poem I wrote about being jealous of a teddy bear. Trust me, it made sense in context. Anywayyyyyyyyy have fun. Don't get lost in here. Contents might drive you insane :P

Oh, and feel free to give feedback. I'd love to hear from you.

I just came up with an ideaaaaa last night but don't know how Imma gonna write it yet *pouts* maybeeeee if I share I can get help...? Nahhhh I'll figure it out. For now, here's a song I wrote a few days ago. Some may have seen it because I posted it in quite a few places, but I really like it so here goes...

You won't walk out with my heart in your hand
I'll already be gone, building pillars out of sand
It will represent us, how we're gonna turn to dust
Your heart's made of steel, one day it's gonna rust

Someday I will be okay
One day, you'll just walk away
But today, I'm getting ready
That day my hands will be steady

I won't let you see me cry
I won't be there to say goodbye
You'll walk away with nothing, I tell you
Shoulda known your promises were never true

Someday I will be okay
One day, you'll just walk away
But today, I'm getting ready
That day my hands will be steady

I love it! That's awesome. You want feedback right? I don't really think it needs anything but it might flow a little better if you put

But today I'm getting ready
For the days that my hands steady

Or something. You don't have to it's just a suggestion!! It's good as it is!

Thanks :))

I noticed the flow was a little off but I'm still toying around with it

I agree with Reann. The flow is slightly off, but nothing a few tweaks can't fix ;)

Would it be better to say "my heartbeat will be steady"?

But today I'm getting ready
For the day my hands are steady

...?

Ooh yeah I like yours. Heartbeat, that works!

I was also thinking of changing it to what you just recommended.

So option 1:

But today, I'm getting ready
That day my hands are steady

OR option 2:

But today, I'm getting ready
My heartbeat will be steady

I'm gonna go with option 2...

ooooh love it!

guys!!!! I just used that first poem/song I wrote for a short film!!! YAY!!

Girl, you are amazing. I can't wait to read the rest of your work!!

Awww thanks :))

Sure thing :)