Dare to Doubt discussion

I first noticed it in my voice. I was seventeen years old in an acting class when my teacher pointed out that I had this tendency to lose my voice whenever scenes required me to get angry. *Mic drop.* At the time, something inside me rang with truth at my teacher's perceptiveness. Only years later would I recognize my inability to express my anger as a direct symptom of religious trauma, stemming from a lifetime of being told to submit, suppress, and swallow. Swallow rage, swallow questions, swallow doubt. Swallow me.

As I went through Jamie's book, I experienced so many aha-moments of recognition of where and how I have stored my trauma in my body. Too many to share here, so for now I will keep it about my voicee and the TMJ jaw pain I suffered throughout my twenties that undoubtedly came from all those years of suppression. As a child, I internalized the belief that my voice did not matter. No one cared what I had to say when God was more important. As an adult, I have slowly been learning to at last give myself permission to speak, to verbalize instead of internalize, and to release instead of repress.

My voice is an instrument I feel I am finally learning to tune. A wind instrument I deprived of breath for too long. In effort to free lodged trauma from my body, I am learning to allow myself to vocalize my anger. And angry scenes in acting class are among my favorite to do now. :)

How have you noticed religious trauma show up in your body? What helps you release and heal it?