Our Shared Shelf discussion

Hi,
I appreciate the words and tone of your post Ali. I have also read that book and found it powerful
And agree with her sentiments too.

I agree it needs everyone to come to the discussion and everyone can be feminist (if they believe in equality and attempt to check their own biases and privileges) regardless of how they gender or don’t gender themselves. And there are many people who believe this too...so for me I don’t enjoy/like to perpetuate/amplify the voices/thoughts of people who may or maybe not be inclusive or playing devil’s advocate (not directing this at anyone just saying it based on life and offline interactions).

I think it’s important for us to be humble and able to take note of their privilege (whenever and whatever that may be) and take ownership of the need to be a listener and somehow express that empathy even if you can’t physically walk in the other person’s shoes - this is one simple way to live out the values of equality in my opinion. Of course we also need to speak out against discrimination and take steps to report it particularly in harassment situations.
It’s never easy not to get defensive when others are describing their inequality or injustice and if it seems like it is directed at one-self, but I think we can all bear witness to it and attempt to empathize or even just admit that we can’t know their journey or pain.


I also believe living out feminism is both an ongoing thing and we need to champion each other and not disparage or tear people down (not directed at anyone just my life philosophy)

I’m still learning and I feel reading widely both books (like Nasty Women by 404 ink or Gloria Steinem’s My life on the road, or Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race or Elsewhere, Home, Toni Morrison’s or Jesymn Ward’s books or books about refugee experiences (Girl who smiled beads or Do they hear you when you cry or trans-experiences or those regarding mental illness and more) have helped broadened my awareness and empathy.

Hi!
I think man could be also feminists. If feminism was limited to only woman there couldn't be the change. Because feminism doesn't mean be a woman, but respect woman and believe in gender equality. To do this man should be simply more honest with themselves. I think they should show up for what they really are and not for what society wants to see them. They should try not to be afraid of show pain, their fragility and weakness. In addition to this they should raise their daughters without limit them, and like Adichie said (I saw her speech in a Tedtalk, and she's amazing!) "We teach girls shame, 'close your legs', 'cover yourself'". But we change also the way to raise our sons. To be feminists man. There is an interesting Tedtalk about a feminist man, that I suggest you to watch. Here's the link: https://youtu.be/Cetg4gu0oQQ

I agree with most others in this shelf. I believe that people of all sexes can be feminists because the definition of feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights and equality of the sexes. It is not just limited to women, and both men and women can advocate for the rights of women and gender equality, in the same way someone in the upper class can advocate for better pay for the middle or lower class.

I, too, think men can be feminists. I think feminism is about equality of the sexes, and everyone is encouraged to advocate for equality. The bigger problem here is that there's still a huge misinformation in schools in some countries about gender and feminism, and men are often taught to stay quiet or they'll be perceived as "girly", which is seen as wrong. It's good that there are more and more men who speak up about feminism and try to spread the message that sexism is real, misandry is real, and that there is no shame in discussing those issues.

I think we are slowly moving forward towards gender equality/equity. I live in a third world country where patriarchal societies are a norm but things are slowly changing, thanks to international NGOs, donors and governments. We can’t afford to not be feminists. Maybe the word itself isn’t appealing to some, but overall I think we all understand that by ignoring half (more than half?) of the population, we are missing out on progress that would benefit us all. I hope thats the norm in this coming generation, there’s just so much untapped potential and men need to be onboard in exploring it.

Caroline-Aquinata wrote: "...things are slowly changing, thanks to international NGOs, donors and governments..."

Hello, Caroline-Aquinata. I was interested to hear you say that some NGOs and donors are making a difference in your country towards gender equity. Can you share any examples of that happening? I enjoy hearing success stories, no matter how small.

Thank you!

-- Peter

I too believe that men can be feminists. Feminism is not only situated towards how females should be given more liberty, rights and understanding that they weren't given before. It rather talks about how men and women both should have the same opportunities, the same right to equality. There are various policies and measures taken by the govt. to ensure that women get equal representation as men but I think that the social stigma about how a woman should be needs to be removed more the minds of people. And this can only happen when men and women both stand up and talk about how important it is for human race to accept and appreciate all the aspects of a human being.

I think so!
Men just can’t think they know everything about feminism- because they don’t. They will never know what be a female actually is. They have to listen to us, and help us in our everyday fight 💪🏻

Yes, absolutely.

I think the question often comes from the idea that feminsim may not be as essential to men as it is for women or non-binary folks (i.e. they don't have the same level of skin in the game), and therefore men may not be as invested in it.

I think there might be some truth in this, but far from enough to make all men's involvement in feminism suspect.

Thanks Emma!

I thought a bit more about why, despite differences in how essential feminism was to men and women/nb people, I am uncomfortable in concluding that men can't be feminists.

I think it is because not all women experience same level of oppression under patriarchy either, with many intersectional factors coming into play. Similarly, it will be wrong to say that men experience no oppression at all - trans men and gay men for example, do face oppression under the exact same patriarchal beliefs and structures that oppress women. So it is less about no oppression vs all oppression (so to speak), and more about living under a spectrum on how patriarchy affects us.

I will be uncomfortable to somehow cut in the middle in an attempt to determine how much oppression is necessary for someone to be called feminist - I find this question too open-ended and one that will leave a lot of exceptions no matter how we answer it.

Rather, thinking of feminism as a socio-political movement with the overarching goal of gender equality, I am happy to call anyone who identifies with these goals and put in the work a feminist. This is not say that the oppression is equal (men cannot be women, pretty much by definition), but rather opens the discussion on the thought, work and effort someone has put into the goals of feminism - introducing the nuance that some men can be feminist and not all women (when they instead work to uphold patriarchal structures) are.

This discussion gave me a lot to think about. Thank you everyone :)

Hi. Of course, I think men can be feminists. In fact, many of us are.
I think the problem comes from the obstacles that some right-wing parties are trying to put to the concept or definition of the word itself. Trying to misrepresent the term to look like a ploy of the leftist parties.
However, there is no reason to politicize or polarize issues that are transversal and that involve everyone equally, regardless of their ideology.
That is why I believe that nothing you have an open mind, you must be feminist and seek equal conditions among people daily, in legislation, in work environments, in bars, stations,
libraries ... always!

Firdevs wrote: "Of course yes! Because feminism means EQUALİTY. So if we say men can't be a real feminist, we just do inequality."
That’s the most simply put I’ve seen on this thread for this topic. Thank you!