Play Book Tag discussion

For the one person in the universe (other than me) that may not have already read this book, it is a memoir of a widow throughout the first year after her husband's death during her daughter's illness/health issues. The book starts off with the following:

"Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends."

This is a sad book. Didion reminds me of Sheryl Sandberg in her book Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy. They are both such smart and strong women who try to rationalize and control everything that has happened to them when in fact there is nothing to rationalize or control, which makes them very helpless.
Although I get that her husband’s heart attack was sudden and immediately mortal, it seemed like the mere possibility of him ever dying never really occurred to her until he was dead (even though he had a known prior history).

There is an amazing anecdote later in the book when after her daughter experiences two close people die in young adulthood, the daughter laments she knows people who have never experienced one death to someone close, let alone two loved ones in the course of a year. Didion’s husband, only says, “It all evens out in the end.” Didion’s understood her husband’s comment to mean that good things will balance out the pain in life, when he actually meant, everyone will eventually experience their fair share of death during their life (and that his daughter was just getting an extra dose early).

My mom died in a car accident when I was five years old and although I don’t think of myself as morbid, I have always had a keen sense of how “life changes fast.” Between this book and the one I read prior to it, Dad's Maybe Book, I think the shared belief is that life is fragile and temporal and that we should always remember to make sure we “love (our loved ones) more than one more day”.

I am always reading (or rather, listening) to this one this month. It’s a very personal story; I get the feeling that its more for her benefit than for the reader’s. A formal of catharsis, I’m sure.

I haven’t gotten to the quote you pick out, but I do really like the ‘two sides of the coin’ aspect to it.

Right now, I’m about in the middle of the book and she’s discussing how such small details in her day-to-day life brings back so many memories - and how she’s struggling to try to avoid them.

Wonderful review Charlie!

Great review. I'm the other person who hasn't read it. I know I'm going to have to deal with something like this soon enough. You'd think I'd want to prepare by reading something relevant. It's my M.O. But I can't make myself read it now.

I'm another one who hasn't read it but in my case it's because I know it will hit too close to home. Having lost my husband very suddenly and going through a real struggle afterwards I just don't think I can face reading a book that would take me back to that place. I'm glad people are able to learn more about grieving though from this book. My advice: Life is short so don't take people for granted and make sure you tell people you love how important they are to you. Today was my husbands birthday and 10 years later it's still a hard day to go thorough.

I saw Vanessa Redgrave's solo performance of the adaptation made by Didion for her. It was brilkiant and so moving. But I can absolutely understand not being able to read or watch.

Rachel N. wrote: "I'm another one who hasn't read it but in my case it's because I know it will hit too close to home. Having lost my husband very suddenly and going through a real struggle afterwards I just don't t..."

Thanks for sharing and you are in my thoughts.

Rachel N. wrote: "I'm another one who hasn't read it but in my case it's because I know it will hit too close to home. Having lost my husband very suddenly and going through a real struggle afterwards I just don't t..."

Thinking of you Rachel-big hugs!

Thanks for a nice review Charlie. I haven't read it and it seemed sadder than what I wanted to take on for this month's read. But, as we all know, sadness is part of life too. Perhaps I'll brave it soon.