Write, Wrote, Written discussion

Short Story

As the massive desert sun breached the horizon Asad's crimson stained eyes peered over his next destination. It was no less than two leagues away. Maybe more. His face was covered in grimy bandages and swathes of cloth to protect his already cracked skin from the sun. Asad dropped his head down to look at the small note he clutched in one hand. He unfolded it and held it out to read to himself.

Virion Crypt, Bounty: 200 Kol

This assassination would see to it that Asad was bathing in money for the rest of his mortal life and beyond. He stuffed the note into one of his pockets and slowly began taking steps towards his destination. His bare feet, now accustomed to the intense heat, pushed down on the ever-shifting sands below. The rough grains welled up between his toes as blood does from a cut.

The only thing Asad had to show for his journey so far was a title and a small piece of paper with a name and number on it. That name? The Grinning Killer. He was well known throughout the Black Wilds region for his his quick and painless murders. Asad's victims, usually nobles, would be killed quickly and cleanly. And then he would rip them to shreds, using the blood that spilled from their lifeless body to paint smiles along walls and floors.

Yeah, it was gruesome. But hey, Asad found it rather pleasing. Soothing even. He simply loved the screams of horror that he could hear from women and children finding their beloved fathers and spouses dead on the floor in a circle of bloody smiley faces.

As his journey dragged on, Asad was met with an unfamiliar stench. His eyes watered and he couldn't help but gag at the putrid smell that had confronted him. Asad peeled away a few bandages from his face to get a better look at what he had stumbled upon.

It was a hole. A hole full of corpses, trash, and excrement.

He looked down into the world of maggots and decay. Asad wiped his eyes gently as to not get sand in them and turned his head at a slight movement off to one side of the massive pit. A dog? No. Not a dog. A desert sagg. A desert sagg was one of the most common, and annoying, things that one could find in the desert. At least this one wasn't in a pack or else it would be pure horror. The animal let out a small wail and started making its way over to Asad. He pulled a small curved blade out of a sheath on his hips and swung it around.

Asad eyed the dog like creature through the cloth the covered his face and shook his head. "Now then." He said in a dry, raspy voice. "Whatcha thing you're doing comin' up on me eh?" He asked the animal. Asad started taking large steps towards the sagg. When it showed no signs of retreating he started sprinting at full pace towards it. The beast let out a wild squeal and ran off in the other direction. "Damn coward." Asad grumbled as he slid the scimitar onto his back.

Wow, really like it so far! What an interesting character.

Thanks! His name means The Lion in case you wanted to know :P

I LOVE IT. NOTHING TO CRITICIZE BUT GREATNESS.

You're going to criticize his greatness?
jk. :P

Inside joke

I'm just playing around.
It's a great read.

Asad pushed his eyes back down to the pit. What in the realm was it? A mass grave? He shook his head and slowly started making his way around the pit when he noticed a mass of stone cutting through the center. A bridge. A bridge cut through a harbor of filth. He ran his feet through the ever winding sands of the desert as he made his way to the bridge. Asad carefully stepped onto the wind warped stone. He slowly began making his way across.

His footsteps made the faintest sound through the vast expanse of corpses. That's when Asad heard the growls and yelps of a pack of saggs coming his way. He skimmed over the boundaries of the massive pit until his eyes landed on the pack. They were at the end of the bridge. The end he needed to get to. Asad sighed and shook his head as he grabbed his sword from behind his hips. His feet pressed against the ground as Asad made his way to the end of the bridge where those vile creatures awaited him. Their teeth were showing. The tops were copper and the bottoms glistening white like ivory. They dripped bacteria filled saliva.

As the distance between Asad and the beast lessened the sagg growls became louder and louder. The largest sagg, obviously the leader of the pack, stepped forward to greet him with a snarl. Asad stopped and struck his sword into the ground in front of him. "Foul beasts. Move out of my way." He commanded. The demon face creature stood his ground and shot out a wild bark.

Asad sighed and shook his head. He released his hands from the hilt of his sword and let the metal clatter down onto the stone beneath his feet. He reached around to the back of his head and slowly began unwrapping the bandages. "Foolish animals. I can take one with a sword. Two, three even. But for a pack. I must unleash the rage of the divines." He sighed.

As the bandages that had earlier tangled their way around his face dropped to the burning hot ground below he stared forward with dull and pained eyes. His face was a clash of colors. Half was completely black, causing his blood red eyes to stand out like the sun against the raging sands. The other side, however, was a mix of reds and yellows and purples and greens and blues.

"And so the sands will rise as do the tides." Were the words that were whispered across the winds of the world. The corpses that laid still beneath the bridge slowly began to rise into the air as the sand beneath them was pulled up by a great celestial force. As the sand pushed past the bodies dropped once more to the now nearly endless pit below.

Asad's crimson eyes landed on the pack of twenty or more saggs once more. "Although the tides may fall. It will always rain." He hissed. All the sand that had been pulled out of the pit and risen into the air was now shot towards the group of beasts. They all yelped and tried to run away before being enveloped in a massive sphere of sand. The sand compressed and then shot outwards, releasing the blood and dismembered bodies of the massive animals to rain down into the pit. One of the few intact skulls landed in front of him on the bridge. Asad knelt down in front of it. "Normally I would smile. But you creatures ain't worth it."

He stood up again after grabbing his face wrap. Asad wrapped the cloth around his face and slowly began walking the length of the bridge once more.

"Never. Never mess with a god."

The never thing is mainly just the way he speaks and thanks for checking it out, hon!

Enjoying the story! I'm reminded of Gaara from Naruto.

Btw, I just added a "body pit" to one of my manuscripts a few days ago. They must be what's "in" now, huh? Or maybe great minds just think alike.

Well for the body pit originally the whole story was set in a forest so it was gonna be a pit of jagged rocks but I changed it to the harbor of filth (body pit) to fit the desert.

and thanks for checking it out!

This is really different and refreshing. The writing is gripping too. Great job :D

Ready for an update!!