Sci-Fi, fantasy and speculative Indie Authors Review discussion

(Still fighting the cover, but best I have)

Out of the Darkness

Genre: Dark Fantasy
Blurb: Nameless, a slave-born pukah has fate stacked against him. He was born to fight, trained to win, conditioned to survive in the Arena. He wins his way to freedom, then fate begins to wreak havoc in his life. Struggling to learn how to survive as a free man, he finds himself taking on a personal war against the culture that created him. In this dark fantastical world of bloody gladiatorial combat, personal gain at all costs, and rulership by the most cunning,Nameless is set adrift by the whims of something that keeps turning his life upside down.

Sample reading:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view... (It's free, so you'll get the whole book.)

Hmm The picture doesn't show and the link to the sample doesn't work. It says: The URI you submitted has disallowed characters. (You'll need to insert a space between 468200 and the beginning of the sentence 'it's' to correct the URL.

I have already downloaded the book. I can't get to it right now (Christmas shopping and all) but I'm looking forward to give it a try.

Ugh! Thanks GG! K, can you relink the picture? I'm attempting the book link one more time.

Edit: picture and link should both work now. I forgot the quotes.

Will do. Sorry about that. When I posted, Smashwords was giving me grief about updating the cover. Should be the same for both there and Amazon - for samples.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...

Try that one.

Thumbs up


Cover: Very so so... perhaps I would not click it. Beefy, but strange looking guy.

Blurb: The blurb is short and snappy and readable.

Sample: I downloaded the full version, so I can't assess "the sample." The writing style is largely to my taste. Spelling and punctuation seem good. I am quite drawn to the story. Though, I wonder if in human culture there is anyone who would be nameless, at least for long.

So overall thumbs up, but do something about the cover!

Cover: I love the lettering, the colors and all. However, the guy (as I mentioned already in another post) seems a little stiff and doesn't look natural. As I was looking at the picture on Smashwords, I noticed that before I scrolled down and saw his hands, he didn't look as bad. I'm wondering if just lowering the picture so you wouldn't see the whole hand might improve his stance.

Blurb: Seems ok except for the repetition: 'Learning how to survive as a free man' and 'He must find a way to survive'.
There is also the Fate part that seems a bit odd: 'then fate begins to wreak havoc in his life' and 'discover his fate'. I'd stick with one or the other but not both.

Sample: I downloaded the book so I'm not sure where the sample stops. I've noticed a small typo here: But today was unprofitable, as neither voices not foot steps were heard. (Shouldn't it be nor?)

Would I read more? You bet! I have a few books started but I'm going to continue to read this one so 'Thumbs up'!

Anthony and G.G. - the sample is set for 20%, so it ends around page 88.

Anthony - I'm actually looking for a cover artist right now to help with the blasted cover. This is the second effort, and I'm still not happy with it. (If you think this one is bad, you don't want to think about the previous attempts.)

G.G. - Thanks for the head's up on the blurb. Thought I'd caught the repetitious phrases. I'll get that fixed ASAP. Also, thanks for the catch on the typo.

Hey K!

I'm currently reading your book and liking it. However, I have noticed a few typos, missing words, missing periods, space before commas, and a whole lot of unneeded '!'. Your words speak for themselves; you shouldn't need to add anything to them. I highlighted a few that were obvious, but there were a lot more that I just skipped. It's not a big thing but it's distracting.

Also, I can honestly say that it is the first book I ever read that doesn't have any dialogue for over half the book. Don't worry. Although it felt strange, it worked with the story so all's good.

I'm not done reading yet. I'm only 68% into the book but I was wondering if you'd like to have my highlights with the typos, and my notes and thoughts. If so, send me a PM with your email and I can send them to you. I'm using iBooks so it's easy to do for me and it will be easy for you to see everything. It's up to you though. I'm not twisting any arms.

G.G. wrote: "Hey K!

I'm currently reading your book and liking it. However, I have noticed a few typos, missing words, missing periods, space before commas, and a whole lot of unneeded '!'. Your words speak fo..."

Message sent G.G. Glad you are enjoying.

Anthony wrote: "Thumbs up


Cover: Very so so... perhaps I would not click it. Beefy, but strange looking guy.

Blurb: The blurb is short and snappy and readable.

Sample: I downloaded the full version, so I c..."


I've been arguing with the blasted cover from day 1. Talking to an artist right now, and hope something comes of these negotiations.

I know it hasn't made it to the next step yet but since I had the book and not a sample, I continued to read it because I liked it...a lot.

Here's my review on GR: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
and Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/review/R32AXNIP...

I removed the spoiler part for Amazon since there's no way to hide it. I don't think it's a real spoiler but just in case. (Same thing for Smashwords)

Thank you K. for giving me the chance to read your book. Strange cover or not, it was worth the read. :P

Thank you so much for the reviews, G.G. Really glad you liked it. Amazon should have the new cover, and I will be updating the Smashwords one as soon as I finish the edits you sent me. (And the backmater links.) Really sent me back out to cloud nine when I saw the reviews.

Out Of The Darkness: thumbs up.

Cover: The new Amazon one (without the guy) is a big improvement - and I particularly like the font.

Blurb: Three "survive"s, but not bad at all: sets the tone, fills in some background and introduces your hero all in a few lines.

Sample: An uncompromisingly bleak start - and no dialogue either (which didn't faze me in the least, having written an entire book without any). It's a brave bit of writing though, and for me really worked - the result is claustrophobic, cruel, relentless. There were a few punctuation fails, missing hyphens in particular (e.g. "still-birthed", "grain-based", "pitch-black", "queen- or king-sized bed", "hyper-aware") and the occasional awkward-sounding phrase. The early stages are unputdownable though, and passed the acid test: I definitely would have read a lot more.

Wow, thank you Richard! If you are interested, I can post the link to Smashwords, where I've got it set to free.

G.G. caught the punctuation errors as well. I'm in the process of correcting, and will update soon.

Yep, go ahead and post the link.

For anyone interested, here's the link to Out of the Darkness. It's free on Smashwords for now. Debating about pricing it once Shadows goes live Feb 15. Will depend on how many downloads I've gotten between now and then.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...

I've bumped the price of the book back up to full price, so for anyone wishing to review, use this coupon code for your copy on smashwords until March 31: AP56G

And apparently I never appraised this one. Sorry K! I'm a dumba**!
Thumbs up
Cover: Didn't you change this to the cuff? I like the spider cuff.

Blurb: We went through this on the blurb thread.

Excerpt: I love the fairytale/bedtime story feel of the begining, which takes an immediate dark turn. The writing style is really good, descriptive and literary without being overly descriptive or pompous. Definitely going into my February read pile.

Yeah, I've changed it on Amazon. Figured since I was fussing with revisions (which at the rate I'm going may never get done) I'd wait until I had those done before updating Smashwords. But, since Remember the Shadows is going live in 8 days, I probably ought to breakdown, and get the cover updated. There is no way I'm going to get the revisions done by then. So, right now, I've probably got some confusion running, since my blog displays the collar cover, not the purchased cover.

Read and reviewed! Congrats, K, I'm a fan.A mazon review should go live here in a few minutes.

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

Oh, my ... Wow! I'm blushing, blinking, and stunned. Thank you so much.

And I've just started it K, so should be another review sometime next week.

Wow, thanks Richard! Can't wait to see if the cross genre appeal reaches into the sci-fi group as well. I've been rather surprised at the feed back so far, because so many different genre readers have enjoyed it.

Good read K! Review at: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... (and I'll stick it on Amazon and Smashwords when I get time).

Thank you so much Richard!

Editing to add: Wow. Leaves me almost speechless. Thank you doesn't say enough.

Just to let you know, K., Smashwords won't let me post my review (I think because I downloaded the book while it was free).

Not really. I've posted reviews of free books before, however,when books are free, you don't need to be logged on to download it. That might be what happened.

Richard wrote: "Just to let you know, K., Smashwords won't let me post my review (I think because I downloaded the book while it was free)."

Mean Smashwords. Thanks for trying, though.

Forgot to add to the list that I read the book and sent my notes over to K. As I told her, I'm holding off posting the (positive) review until she does some of the revisions she has in process, because they're already in process. (And I think the book will be better as a result, but I'd rather a new reader see it when it's further polished).

Jamie, first of my revision edits came back. I'll let you know when I get the new edition posted. Should be this week, since I'm on Spring Break, and there isn't a whole bunch of typos to catch.

Jamie,

Revisions are published and live on Smashwords. Going through Amazon once I post this.