Literally Leander discussion

For March 2020, our featured book of the month was With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo! Please be aware of spoilers for the book within this thread.

This month, our discussion prompt questions come from BookBrowse. As always, these are just prompts for those who want and/or need them. Otherwise, you can tell us any of your thoughts and opinions!

1. Describe Emoni's relationship with cooking. In what ways is Emoni "full of duende. Of inspiration and passion"? How does the way Emoni is feeling affect her food? How does the author describe Emoni's cooking and its effect on people? Do you think Emoni's food is magical?

2. How does Emoni describe Philadelphia throughout the book? Where is home for you? What makes it home? On the last day of the trip to Spain, Emoni says "Maybe that's the point of a trip like this; you start the process of learning and then you carry it with you back home". In what ways does being in Spain make Emoni feel more "free" to say, think, and do what she hasn't felt able to do at home? What does Emoni learn about herself in Spain that she brings back home with her?

3. When reflecting about family, Emoni says, "People say that you're stuck with the family you're born into ... But we all make choices about people. Who we want to hold close, who we want to remain in our lives, and who we are just fine without". Who are the people that Emoni chooses as family? What makes her choose them? Who are the people you choose as your family? What makes you choose them?

4. Early on, Emoni characterizes Babygirl as "front and center, the candlelight we read the world by". Who is the "we" that Emoni describes? How does Emoni feel about being Babygirl's mom? In what ways does Emoni put her daughter "front and center"? What are the difficult relationships that Emoni has to navigate because of her daughter?

5. What are some of the things that limit Emoni's ability to live the life she wants and to pursue her dreams? How are these limitations connected to race, class, and gender? What "leaps of faith" does Emoni take in order to create more possibilities for herself? What are the resources and people that support and encourage her to take those leaps? What are your dreams? Do they feel possible? Why or why not?

Since I was so hesitant going into this book, I admit that I was already thinking that this wasn't going to be one that I liked. At the same time, I was kind of hoping that it would wow me, and I would see the error of my ways. It falls somewhere in the middle. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it, either. I gave it 2.5 stars, rounded up to three.

I guess it just felt too episodic for me. There, of course, is a background story to everything, what with Emoni being in her senior year of high school, taking a cooking class, and raising her daughter (I was relieved that "Babygirl" wasn't her actual given name, but I still don't like it.) As I mentioned in my review, Emoni has a lot of opinions on things, and a lot of them are important topics to have opinions on. Things like being a teen mom, being Afro-Puerto Rican, stereotyping and being stereotyped, and more. But I really feel like it was just missing something to hold it all together. It's like a ham sandwich without the ham.

1. Describe Emoni's relationship with cooking. In what ways is Emoni "full of duende. Of inspiration and passion"? How does the way Emoni is feeling affect her food? How does the author describe Emoni's cooking and its effect on people? Do you think Emoni's food is magical?
Emoni has a really strong relationship with food. She sees it as the tie to her grandmother, who raised her, and the mother who died shortly after her birth. She sees it as a link to her ethnic culture and a canvas for her own creativity. And the fact that she strives for it, continues to work for it, in spite of all of the things that would be more logical--like having a study hall period instead of another class, when she already struggles with her grades--just shows her passion towards it.

I don't believe that her food is magic in particular. Rather, I think that food is one of those things that we, as humans, tend to have emotional connections to aside from the regular need for sustenance. Emoni has a talent for understanding flavor, but other people have innate abilities with other things. For instance, her friend Angelica is a strong artist, something she was innately good at but her practice made it all the better. I think the same can be said for Emoni.

However, more than one character describes how Emoni's food makes them feel things, like her father saying that her cooking makes him sad because it reminds him of her mother. I think we have the ability to sense passion in other people's work. That's why we have art museums and movie theaters and radio. We have a natural inclination towards empathy, and we appreciate seeing the creations of someone else's feelings.

4. Early on, Emoni characterizes Babygirl as "front and center, the candlelight we read the world by". Who is the "we" that Emoni describes? How does Emoni feel about being Babygirl's mom? In what ways does Emoni put her daughter "front and center"? What are the difficult relationships that Emoni has to navigate because of her daughter?
Emoni has a lot of things that she has to put on hold because of Babygirl. That being said, it's not all resentful. It's just that part of growing up means becoming your own person and exploring the world around you as well as your own possibilities, and that's something that many struggle to do even when they don't have the obligation of looking after another human being. Emoni has a lot of things to think about, she has a child to raise, a child who is completely dependent on her and her ability to provide. Things that others might take for granted--free time to spend with friends, extracurricular activities, dating, going to college... it's all something that is harder, but not impossible, to achieve when you're a parent. It's even harder when you don't come from a wealthy family.

But while Emoni has had to give a lot up--and will likely have to give up other things in the future--in order to be a good parent to her daughter, she's also deeply in love with her baby. Her maternal instinct is strong, and she's not ashamed of her daughter. In fact, it seems like most of her decisions revolve around her in some way or form, which is true of most moms I've met. There are others in Emoni's life--blood family like her grandmother, and chosen family like Angelica--that also put aside many of their extra wants in order to make sure that Babygirl is a happy, healthy child who knows she's deeply loved.

5. What are some of the things that limit Emoni's ability to live the life she wants and to pursue her dreams? How are these limitations connected to race, class, and gender? What "leaps of faith" does Emoni take in order to create more possibilities for herself? What are the resources and people that support and encourage her to take those leaps? What are your dreams? Do they feel possible? Why or why not?
Like I said before, Emoni has a lot of opinions on a lot of different things. Race, class, and gender are just some of the topics she comments on. The first two seem to be stronger for her, though.

Emoni discusses race in depth. She talks about how people already know what to expect from her before meeting her, all based on her name--which is non-white. That's why she chose a simple, race-neutral name for her daughter; Emma. She didn't want her child to be confined by stereotypes before she even had a chance. Emoni also talks a little about her ethnic identity as Afro-Puerto Rican, where some people think she's not Spanish enough, and other think she's not black enough.

This stuff is complicated. But it's like I'm some long-division problems folks keep wanting to parcel into pieces, and they don't hear me when I say: I don't reduce, homies. The whole of me is Black. the whole of me is whole.

Emoni less directly comments on class, particularly with the knowledge that she is from the "wrong side of the tracks." She and her grandmother, 'Buela, have been living primarily off of 'Buela's disability checks from a workplace injury years ago. Her father is in and out of the picture, a man who wants to help people but is no good at being a father. Emoni is constantly feeling held down by her own financial situation; there's simply living, like buying groceries and clothes for her and her baby, but there's also things like going to Spain for her class trip and paying for college without financial aid.

I forgot to add: while I know there's a question about family given by the prompts, I wanted to pose one based on this paragraph:

My father isn't a bad man,. He helps a lot of people. He keep kids' books in his barbershop to help encourage the children in the community to read. He's constantly bringing in public speakers to discuss Puerto Rican rights and community concerns, and around the time I got pregnant with Babygirl he began a food drive to help single mothers. But his passions confuse me. Although he raises money for his causes, he never sends any here. Although he cares about his community, his own family gets the short end of the stick. It's like the best of him is reserved for strangers. And it mixes me up, like batter that isn't fully blended so there are still hard lumps baking beneath the surface.

Do you think Emoni is harsh on her father, or is this a fair assessment? And do you think his non-parenting has changed the way Emoni raises Babygirl?

Personally, I think that this is a fair assessment of her father, at least from what we're given... though our knowledge of him comes solely from a biased source. I think some people just aren't fit to raise kids. I also think that some people are affected by grief so badly that they avoid things that remind them of their lost ones... and Emoni clearly reminds him of his wife, Emoni's mother. He even says as much when he explains why he doesn't eat Emoni's food, because it reminds him too much of her mother.

I also think that his distanced parenting style is why Emoni loves Babygirl so fiercely. She knows what it's like to be acknowledged and loved from a distance, but she's missing the intimacy of a parent. That hole has been filled mostly by her 'Buela, but there's never really a good replacement for a parental figure. I think Emoni wants to be there for Babygirl in every aspect of her life, while also achieving her own dreams so she can be a good example to her own daughter: love fiercely in every way.

1. How does the author describe Emoni's cooking and its effect on people? Do you think Emoni's food is magical?
I do not think Emoni's food is magical. She even seems hesitant to describe her food that way. When she was in Spain, she told Chef Amadí that she believed she was just a really good cook and was uncertain whether 'Buela was correct in calling her hands and cooking magical. Emoni's cooking often elicits a strong reaction in people who eat it. However, Emoni was often hesitant to ask people about their reaction because she worried it was something she did not mean for them to have.

I don’t often ask questions about how people react to the food I cook. It makes my belly squeeze tight to know my dishes might have an effect I don’t mean them to have; like something inside me left my body and entered into the pots and pans without a permission slip.

3. When reflecting about family, Emoni says, "People say that you're stuck with the family you're born into ... But we all make choices about people. Who we want to hold close, who we want to remain in our lives, and who we are just fine without". Who are the people that Emoni chooses as family? What makes her choose them?
Emoni's friend, Angelina, is one person she chose as her family. Emoni thinks of Angelica as a sister. The girls are there for each other and are protective of one another.

I learned a lot about what it meant to be a fierce friend, to protect someone and learn more about what it was like to walk in their shoes ... And folks learned quick, if they had a problem with Angelica, they could mix me. If they had a problem with me, they were facing two of us. And ain’t that what it means to be a sister? Holding things tight when the other one is falling apart?

Emoni's father is still living, but she chooses his mother, 'Buela, to be family instead. 'Buela made the choice to raise Emoni and "offer [her] a fighting chance", while Emoni's father abandoned her at the hospital when she was born.

4. Early on, Emoni characterizes Babygirl as "front and center, the candlelight we read the world by". Who is the "we" that Emoni describes? How does Emoni feel about being Babygirl's mom? In what ways does Emoni put her daughter "front and center"? What are the difficult relationships that Emoni has to navigate because of her daughter?
The "we" Emoni describes is her 'Buela and herself. 'Buela is like a second mother to Babygirl. Emoni loves being Babygirl's mother. Emoni puts her daughter "front and center" all the time by considering what Babygirl needs more than her own wants. When 'Buela first found out Emoni was pregnant, she told Emoni this was her job as a mother. Specifically, Emoni puts Babygirl over her desire to spend time with her friends outside of school. Emoni has to navigate the relationship with Tyrone, Babygirl's father.

Do you think Emoni is harsh on her father, or is this a fair assessment? And do you think his non-parenting has changed the way Emoni raises Babygirl?
I think Emoni is making a fair assessment about her father. It was interesting that his community interests sometimes paralleled events occurring in his own family, like starting a food drive to raise money for single mothers around the time that Emoni got pregnant, but he focused more on the strangers in his community than his own family. In general, Emoni put her hopes and dreams on Babygirl. She wants Babygirl to have a better life with more opportunities than she had. Emoni wants to be a good mother for Babygirl because she did not have good parents growing up (due to her father's non-parenting).