Educated discussion

This is a memoir written during very divisive times, on a very controversial topic, about people who are living and in fact thriving right now. I found it extremely compelling, and I felt the author was incredibly brave to write it. I'd love to hear what others think.

People doubt it because it is an extraordinary tale and one that has been denied by several of the people involved (and not just the people being criticised). Getting to Harvard, Oxbridge etc is hard even for people with a good formal education. It is hard for people to believe that her education can have been so poor and yet her academic achievements so good.

But I agree this was a very good book. Westover deals with the nature of truth candidly throughout the book, so I don't think it was dishonest.

I don't think it was dishonest either. I believed all of it. Also, I did some more research about the story and things that happened. I watched a few interviews with Tara. Why would someone make that up? She's not going to say she went to these places for formal education infront of millions of people. The colleges alone could call her out. It has been my favorite book so far this year.

I think she is telling the truth. What bothers me is that she felt the need to publish a tell-all about her family. Cui bono? Certainly her bank account. And people who read the book who have a prurient interest in he terrible things that happened to her and other family members. The book seems like exhibitionism disguised as therapy. Just take the therapy and move on. You don't need to tell the world about it.

I don't question the educational aspect at all. I find it incredible that she was able to advance so far with so little formal education as a child.

I'm having problems believing everything she says about her family life, especially since so many in the family area denying it. I think some of it is perception, and in her mind maybe it was worse than what it actually was. On the other hand, I know abuse is real and so maybe it really did happen. I guess we will never know.

This book is definitely one that stayed with me for a long time. I'm glad I read it, and maybe will even re-read it in the future.

While I do not doubt her credentials, the book does leave a lot of room for doubt when it comes to how someone in her position could have made it so far up the ladder to Harvard and Cambridge.

How often did she study? (I’m willing to bet she probably did every moment she was awake, especially at BYU.)

How was she able to get the hang of her studies enough at BYU to not just get enough financial aid, but to ultimately get to Cambridge? (The overcoming of those struggles is plausible. More details and recounts of the studying and hard work may have sufficed perhaps? Again, not doubting her. The speed at which the narrative goes in her book just gives me whiplash.)

How was she able to pass the ACT and not know what the Holocaust was? (The answer to that perhaps calls into question the test itself, not her personally.)

Great book that’s creating a great conversation.

Yeah, I wondered about how she was able to study at such prestigious institutions after the quasi-education she received as a child. I don't doubt her story at all, though, even if some of it is blurred by memories – it's what she knows happened to her.

I would assume that essays played a huge role in getting into those programs at Harvard/Cambridge; she has a talent for writing, as we all know, and she has unbelievable stories to tell about growth. So that's likely what happened (plus lots of studying to have high enough grades).

I agree with all of you. How was she able to go to Cambridge if she didn't even know how to take multiple-choice exams? That kind of made me suspicious of her. Anyway, great book!

Tara has the same story thousands of children do but she was one of the few who was able to write it. As someone who has never gone through anything similar, the little education children from conservative/conspiracy theorists/mormon families get never really crossed my mind. But because Tara was able to be brave about her story and come forth she was able to raise awareness to people like me. I understand how the book was extremely personal and at times exploitative, but I think that rawness made us better understand the situation.

Truth is stranger than fiction here - there are people who overcome odds stacked against them even higher than Tara's. The danger is that we give her all the credit and don't recognize and appreciate the many, many systems and supports and opportunities that allowed her to succeed. Her story is the "American Dream" - but for every 1 Tara W there are another hundred thousand (million?) who are dealing with trauma in their own, less public, and less celebrated ways.

deleted user wrote: "Yeah, I wondered about how she was able to study at such prestigious institutions after the quasi-education she received as a child. I don't doubt her story at all, though, even if some of it is bl..."

deleted user wrote: "Yeah, I wondered about how she was able to study at such prestigious institutions after the quasi-education she received as a child. I don't doubt her story at all, though, even if some of it is bl..."

Those of us who had a conventional American public school education were offered information every day, lots and lots of it, and I think after a while we became dull to the importance of what we were learning. It's like ... we were inundated with more information and we took it for granted it was there for us. We actually probably eventually said to ourselves "enough already, this is too much, I'm bored, I'm overwhelmed, yawn, blah blah blah …. " but if someone is deprived of all this information and suddenly the doors to the rest of the world are kicked open and they are faced with the endless new things to learn, I bet their attitude is pretty different. Think of Helen Keller when she first acquired language at age, what, nine? She now wanted to know everything. She didn't waste any time - she devoured books steadily for years and then was accepted into Radcliffe and became a writer and speaker. Nobody questions her ability to get into Radcliffe even though she didn't even have LANGUAGE - any way to communicate except through tantrums - until that age. She made up for those dark, empty years by gobbling up as much information as she could in the next ten years. Maybe it was like that for Tara. Remember those people in college who just could NOT be bothered to read the textbook? They rolled their eyes, chucked the book in the corner, and hit the bars and skipped class. Tara didn't want to do that. She suddenly became aware of all that was out there, and she wasn't going to waste any time ... and think of how much you can learn just by reading. She already know how to do so much, so many practical things, and she knew how to read well enough to devour all the books she had time for. That's how I come to terms with the whole "how did she get into college?" I don't doubt that at all. Why should I? I am sure there are documents, diplomas, tests that could verify that. I get it, I questioned it too, but remember, she was hungry for knowledge because she was deprived for so long. She probably also had more room in her brain because it wasn't filled up with MTV. Concerning Shawn, I have to say, I have six brothers, and if you think about it, a privileged or favored young man's first chance to try out male domination is on his sister. A boy with a dad like Val Westover sees what men are supposed to be like. Hey, let me give it a try. Why would you doubt it, women? Did you have brothers? Didn't they shove you around a lot, call you names, humiliate you? How many of us or people we know were abused sexually or physically by our brothers? It's universal. It happens in a lot of cultures. Of course Tara's family is going to deny it all happened. Of course they are going to disown her. She blew the whistle. She spoke the truth. Now they have to answer for the abuse and neglect. Nope, not going to. Let's just say she's lying. And if you're wondering why she wrote the memoir, maybe she wanted to inspire other young women in the same trap. Maybe she found her voice and decided she wanted to use it. None of us will ever know the truth. Only Tara and her family members know. Sure I have questions, but all these doubts just underscore this ubiquitous propensity to doubt the victim, to punish her, to turn our heads away. So many people support the abusers. No wonder women don't come forward and tell someone. Who would believe us? And why on earth do you think a woman would stand up and describe the abuse, knowing how she will be seen and treated for the rest of her life? I'm sure a few are lying, but more are telling the truth. It takes courage and the woman also has to face the fact that she will most likely lose her family. Finally, I was snooping around regarding the mom's herb business, and guess what .... the husband now owns it. He was never able to make the kind of money his wife made, so what did he do? Took her business from her. And people doubt he is abusive? He's just using his "faith" as something to hide behind so he can legally crush his wife and daughters.

It's extremely compelling, but it does gloss over a few details about what aspects of literature, movies, etc. the author was familiar with, and which ones were completely new to her when she went to college.

Rob wrote: "People doubt it because it is an extraordinary tale and one that has been denied by several of the people involved (and not just the people being criticised). Getting to Harvard, Oxbridge etc is ha..."
I don't get this at all. I myself was home schooled and went through a lot of similar things and every one of my own siblings have a completely different set of memories than mine based on their loyalty to family members. I scored very high on the GED and maintained a 3.9 GPA while in college.

Mollie wrote: "I think she is telling the truth. What bothers me is that she felt the need to publish a tell-all about her family. Cui bono? Certainly her bank account. And people who read the book who have a pru..."

Sometimes when people have endured trauma related to family, being honest about it is the only way to heal and move forward. I truly believe her writing this book was courageous and part of her healing process!!

Jason wrote: "While I do not doubt her credentials, the book does leave a lot of room for doubt when it comes to how someone in her position could have made it so far up the ladder to Harvard and Cambridge.

Ho..."

The ACT didn't really seem to require knowledge about history. I was homeschooled (less terribly than Westover, though certainly not well) and I was able to do quite well on the ACT even with massive gaps in my education. Honestly, as much as I understand this might be a valid criticism of the ACT, I'm quite glad it didn't require a lot of knowledge about history and science because if it did, I wouldn't have gotten into college as easily, and the only way I possibly COULD have learned some of those things was by going to college.