Polls for our souls discussion

SPOILER DISCUSSION
Someone mentioned safety in one of our polls and I love safe books so I'd thought I'd start a discussion. Please post safe recommendations in this thread.
A growing segment of readers post information about safety in romance books.
To give safety info means that you disclosure in your review whether a book in the romance genre features scenes where H (hero) h, (heroine), or both have sex/make out scenes with OP (other partners). There's also a growing concern about the ending of books because most romance readers don't want to waste their time or money reading unhappy endings.

Many bloggers and goodreads members post information about safety using the nomenclatures OW, OM, HEA, HFN.
OW: Other woman. If the Hero (H) has already shown interest in heroine (h) many people think it's almost as bad as cheating.
Beautiful Disaster(view spoiler)[H fell hard but kept having sex with OW. He had a threesome within earshot of h (hide spoiler)]

A Court of Thorns and Roses You know what Tamlin did, don't you?


OM: Other men, h has sex with OM after falling in love with H
Gone with the Wind (view spoiler)[ h was in love with Ashley, but she married and had children with OM. (hide spoiler)]
Me Before You (view spoiler)[h had a boyfriend and she kept sleeping with him after showing interest in H (hide spoiler)]

Some books have both OM. and OW:
Wuthering Heights(view spoiler)[ H and h marry and have kids with OP (other partners) (hide spoiler)]

The romance books that many people say have safe qualities are those where H and h never have sex with Other Partner's (OP=
Transcendence
Twilight
The V Girl: A Coming Of Age Story
Pride and Prejudice
The Winter King
Archer's Voice
Pestilence

All the books I posted feature HEA's (Happily ever after endings) or HFN (happy for now ending). HEA and HFN doesn't necessary mean sappy, walking towards the rainbow endings.

Safe books are the best, I'm creating a discussion about safe books and I hope you guys can share a few book recommendations. Please, if possible, switch to desktop mode so you can use the add book/author option.

I seriously cannot digest un-safe book.
It spoils my mood, day and I never forget the scene. It also make me snap at Whoever is around me at that time.
So I give a wide berth to those, however good the reviews are.
And goodreads reviews helps me to filter these books.
So eternally grateful here. Both me and my bank account.
Also I love virgin hero books- even though they are rarer than unicorns 🦄.

I gave up. I will never understand the safety rules, cuz, the way you explain it, it's really easy, but the safety gals never agree or have a list or anything. Besides this is goodreads and many people shelve wrong. Like they shelf as safe and it isn't, or they shelf as cheating and it isn't.

Interesting topic. I didn’t know this was a “thing.” I don’t shelve books this way because it doesn’t bother me if there is some untoward behavior on the part of the main characters. Live and learn, I guess.

This book is safe with exceptions
There are no detailed scenes of sexual assault in this book, it's just part of h's background, but it was never described in detail.
(view spoiler)[H never cheats on h
h never cheats on H
No OW
HFN (hide spoiler)]
I found a couple of misleading reviews. Not everyone posts good safety info. Please read MY REVIEW
What I do to find safe reads is relying in the sample and ignore the reviews.
I think people who like safe books should read the sample of Rhapsodic, it won't take you long and it won't cost you money, but it will help you see who is posting honestsafety info, and who isn't.

AvidReader wrote: "And goodreads reviews helps me to filter these books."

I use a combination of reviews of some friends and the amazon verified reviews filters. I also have learned to discern those who posts quality safety info from those that are just trolling.

AMY ♔♔Anti-Young adult Teen Queen♔♔ wrote: "Besides this is goodreads and many people shelve wrong. Like they shelf as safe and it isn't, or they shelf as cheating and it isn't."

That's because there aren't set rules when it comes to safety. What is safe for you, might not be safe for me. Sexual abuse for instance: If it's like is a major Trigger, makes me hate the book and regret that I picked it up in the first place, but if it's like I'm ok, because these books work as escapism and are difficult to put down. Really enjoyable books that have good messages.

For me OW is cheating 100% of the time but I don't automatically consider OM cheating, it depends on the book and genre. RH is all about OM and some RH's can be read as safe books.

Corinne wrote: "AvidReader wrote: "And goodreads reviews helps me to filter these books."

I use a combination of reviews of some friends and the amazon verified reviews filters. I also have learned to discern tho..."

Me too darling ..me too.

Corinne wrote: "AMY ♔♔Anti-Young adult Teen Queen♔♔ wrote: "Besides this is goodreads and many people shelve wrong. Like they shelf as safe and it isn't, or they shelf as cheating and it isn't."

That's because th..."

Sexual abuse doesn’t count as a safety issue in my account, it goes in to trigger category.

It's Me - Yvette wrote: "Interesting topic. I didn’t know this was a “thing.” I don’t shelve books this way because it doesn’t bother me if there is some untoward behavior on the part of the main characters. Live and learn..."

Same here.

Exactly - we all react differently. I know enough about triggers but never heard about "safe" books. It seems to me everyone has their own definition of that which means unless some people agree: yeah, this and this and that is what constitutes SB, you'll get "false" and misleading reviews.

I have various triggers and pet peeves and dislikes that can change depending on a) the book b) my mood c) what I have just read before that d) what I just saw/experienced and really any number of things. But I am weird and weirdly sensitive - like, for example, BDSM, if I get into this specific, useless mood, I have to restrain myself *wink* not to start shouting at the MC's because it feels wrong and forced and when it starts, I have to close the book and come back later and it may suddenly work.

Also used to despise cheating in any form, now I am upset almost only if it's after the Confirmation of Commitment.

Your strategy sounds best: you find those people who have similar "boundaries" and just check those.

I wish more people used the OW/OM kind of warnings (as well as sexual assault) in their reviews. I usually end up having to dig through 2-1 star ratings to find them if the blurb or some of the comments sound like the story is kinda rape-y. =/

Esp. with OW. I really dislike (ofc super personal preference) H showing interest in OW (nvm sleeping with them) after he meets heroine. There was a book super recommended that looked right up my alley and then the H not only was dating OW but also sleeping with her, even tho he knew h was his epic love/mate with amnesia. Yikes, no ty. Totally put me in a gloomy mood, lol. So whenever I see a reviewer with a list of HEA/OW warnings using spoiler tag, I could kiss their feet!

I've never heard this concept, but I tend to avoid romance in general. Too often it glorifies abusive behavior or is completely unrealistic. I'll list triggers and pet peeves in my reviews. I'll be sure to add cheating, but I almost never run into it in books I read.

Cheating is a huge no, but depending on genre, I don't have problem with OW/OM myself. I always try to post honest warnings for others, but only after I read the book. What happened with Rhapsodic's fake review is awful, if people won't post honest safety info they should not post safety warnings at all. And yes, Rhapsodic is safe.

If I am understanding safe correctly, I agree with other comments, I think safe is subjective. I personally don’t mind OW/OM but I will not knowing read a book where the H/h dies at the end, I can’t take it. I have also found that my tolerance changes. I used to not mind books with teenage sex but now I can’t stand it and its worse when it’s RH. So I try to avoid YA that requires mature readers. May be because my daughter is now a teenager, IDK. I also don’t want to read a book with detailed descriptions of child abuse, whether in real time or as a flash back. Other than these, anything goes. I don’t normally flag these things in my reviews because I assume most people don’t mind somethings as much as I do.

Wow.. um So really these are spoiler tags.. okay. Good to know.

Sophia wrote: "If I am understanding safe correctly, I agree with other comments, I think safe is subjective. I personally don’t mind OW/OM but I will not knowing read a book where the H/h dies at the end, I can’..."I can't stand underage sex either, and that's why I try to stay away from YA. Even fade to black sex scenes among kids make me cringe.

M.Z. wrote: So whenever I see a reviewer with a list of HEA/OW warnings using spoiler tag, I could kiss their feet"
So could I...when they're honest. I don't want to ever see again the person who posted misleading safety warnings about Rhapsodic. I just blocked her. But honest safety gals are great. They always help me find outstanding romance books.

Sophia wrote: "I don’t normally flag these things in my reviews because I assume most people don’t mind somethings as much as I do"
Believe me, a lot of people mind those things. Trigger warnings and little spoilers are essential for anyone with lengthy TBR piles. I need those little spoilers to decide what to read next. I usually read reviews after I finish a book and send friend invites to those that have my exact same pet-peeves and triggers.

Sylvia wrote: "Wow.. um So really these are spoiler tags.. okay. Good to know."

Spoilers are the best.

LostForReal wrote: "It seems to me everyone has their own definition of that which means unless some people agree: yeah, this and this and that is what constitutes SB, you'll get "false" and misleading reviews"

There's a consensus on cheating and unhappy endings. Everyone agree those are a big NO. OW is almost universally despised, most safety gals say is a NO, and many prefer nothing with OW after meeting, but others are open to OW when it's before H and h agree to start a relationship.

So far I've alternated this discussion between and because those two titles have been falsely accused of presenting OW and cheating. If the staff or someone else with the power to edit discussion needs to modify this post, would you be so kind as to inform me what's wrong with it before you do any edits? From one day to the next the link to my discussion vanished. I've fixed it and hope it remains the way I intended it. If it requires modifying I can do it myself. No need to be unprofessional about this.
For your information, some of my reviews have been modified by someone with the attributes to do it (staff, super librarian) for no apparent reason so it wouldn't be surprising this happened again. I know it wasn't the moderators of this group.

I never keep Alexa Riley's books and never add to shelves cuz they're sorta...embarrasing... *blushes*, but for what I recall they're OTT virgin sex and safe. And so short! You can finish them quickly.

I found this book in a recent poll.
I'm not done, but it looks safe.

Safe

K wrote: "
Safe"
Corinne wrote: "I found this book in a recent poll.
I'm not done, but it looks safe."

Moving up on TBR

Parvati Patil wrote: "K wrote: "
Safe"
Corinne wrote: "I found this book in a recent poll.
I'm not done, but it looks safe."

Mo..."
The Zoey Draven one...I think there's pregnancy or inbreeding, You hate pregnancies! Not sure about it, though.

Safe, no OW, no OM, no cheating, and like it's common with safe books there are a lot of misleading reviews creating a negative buzz. They're filled with falsehooda so I created a discussion about it.