The Sisters discussion

The resilience of the Mitford girl's mother Sydney is extraordinary. The girls were notorious in their own time, some wrote not so flattering things about their mother, but her love and maternal loyalty never wavered.

I actually ended up liking all the Mitford girls. Even if you don't agree with what they stood for you have to admire the way they all went after what they wanted and did not waver in their beliefs. I did, however, particularly like Debo. She was sweet and caring and I felt like, in the end, she really kept the family from drifting completely apart; she was always "on speakers" with all members of the family and, as such, could relay news from/to all the Mitfords. She seemed the one most interested in keeping peace between all her sisters.
I do have to agree about Sydney, though. I hadn't thought of her in quite that way. She really loved all her children, no matter how beastly they behaved!

Decca was the most interesting Mitford for my money. Endlessly contrary, a chronic rabble-rouser and a ruffler of feathers, Decca kept stirring the pot long after the others had settled into their marriages or writing careers. She battled both giants (like the funeral industry) and demons (personal tragedy and-- surprise, surprise--alcoholism)with very valorious intentions. She hobnobbed with politicians and the intelligencia. Heck, she was even soul sistas with Maya Angelou! And although it cannot be denied that her hostility towards all that is Mitford (you know-- fox hunting and fascism) never prevented her from using her name for personal gain, the cajones or craziness it took for her to be so publicly contradictory is in its way sort of impressive.

As for which Mitford sister I liked: that Nancy was one sassy bitch. I admire that in a person.

And while I'm Zooming on the subject, I must say it amazes me that the BBC hasn't come up with a sitcom character based on Unity. I mean-- a diaper-wearing Nazi debutante with the mind of a child and the temper of a bull? Ab Fasch!

I agree with your assesment of Decca, she was a woman of many contradictions.
As for Nancy, I found her to be the saddest of the sisters. Meaningful personal relationships seemed to allude her and her choice in men was predictable disastrous, but she dealt with her disappointments and life went on. Yes, Nancy is sassy but also a very classy lady.

Here, here, you nailed this one.

Decca was the most fascinating, Nancy the coolest, Unity the most infuriating, Diana the prettiest, Debo the strongest. As for Sydney, there was certainly something in the Redesdale water, and who put it there but herself? I have to wonder, where did they get all that energy?

I really like your assesment of the sisters. They all shared intelligence,beauty,wit, talent and boundless energy.

I got to meet Jessica Mitford - she lived up to her billing, which is a tough thing to do.

I envy you. I think I read someplace that Hillary Clinton was once an aid to Jessica Mitford, isn't that an interesting combination.

I got her to sign all of my copies of her books. She really was a fascinating person.

I thought Decca was the most interesting sister. Her personality was quite a paradox, which really drew me in as a reader. I also liked Unity (pre Nazi younger years)because she was very unpredictable and nothing like the debutante that society thought she should be! I found Nancy edgy which was likable to a certain degree and Debo was sweet which is almost always likable. The only sister who I really did not care for was Diana because I felt that her involvement with Mosley made her loose her own identity. I also wish there was more information on Pam, the quiet sister, she always seemed to be over shadowed by her more famous sisters.

Poor Pam! She was the butt of jokes by her more glamorous sisters, and a bit short-changed by biographers. She's treated as the "boring Mitford", as if there could be any such thing!

Is there even a biography just about Pam out there?

I really enjoyed this by Mary S. Lovell but I'm not sure if I have a favourite as they are all interesting in different degrees.

On Pamela, there is a book that is not showing on Goodreads yet, that is being published in September this year (UK) and is called The Other Mitford: Pamela's Sister by Diana Alexander (ISBN-13: 978-0752471211).

Do you know if Pam's biography is being published in the U.S.?

Not sure - I had a look on Amazon.com and it's listed but with price or release date...

Our US Amazon site does not list it nor Barnes and Noble so I assuming I will have to wait until it makes it way over here. Perhaps, I will read next.. Has anyone read it and if so, what is your opinion on it?

I did read it, Bridget, a couple of years ago. My memory is a bit faded, but I do recall feeling a sense of "being there" amongst the Mitfords during their wonderfully eccentric childhood.

Bridget wrote: "Our US Amazon site does not list it nor Barnes and Noble so I assuming I will have to wait until it makes it way over here. Perhaps, I will read next.. Has anyone read i..."

Absolutely brilliant book, and I agree with Melinda - the sheer comedy of their childhood lives is put forward really well in the beginning segment of the book, I can remember choking with laughter at parts of it

Melinda wrote: "I did read it, Bridget, a couple of years ago. My memory is a bit faded, but I do recall feeling a sense of "being there" amongst the Mitfords during their wonderfully eccentric childhood."

In "The Sisters" I actually preferred reading their childhood antics more than their grown up drama. Some of Sydney's theories on raising children were so bizarre but yet very entertaining. :)

Rab wrote: "Bridget wrote: "Our US Amazon site does not list it nor Barnes and Noble so I assuming I will have to wait until it makes it way over here. Perhaps, I will read next.. H..."

How many of the Mitford biographies have you read? I think it would be interesting to read Jonathan Guinness'
("The House of Mitford") take on Decca. It really made me sad to read that Decca and Diana never reunited and got over their differences. Its funny how Decca never held it against Unity....

Bridget wrote: "Rab wrote: "Bridget wrote: "Our US Amazon site does not list it nor Barnes and Noble so I assuming I will have to wait until it makes it way over here. Perhaps, I will read [bookcover:Hons and Rebe..."

Only Hons and Rebels and Charlotte Mosley's ("Letters between six sisters"),and I came across that by chance.
The Guinness book does sound good, I've read from Decca's point of view, but never about her. I think if I were to read other Mitford biographies I'd choose some from Diana or Unity though.
Yeah, of all the sisters - even Diana - Unity was possibly the most affiliated with Hitler, she tried to commit suicide over him. Maybe that tragedy stopped Decca from holding too much of a grudge against her, whereas Diana lived a lot longer - and was older. I can't quite remember who as children were closest to each other, but if Diana and Decca were close sisters, the paths they chose might have caused friction.

Rab wrote: "Bridget wrote: "Rab wrote: "Bridget wrote: "Our US Amazon site does not list it nor Barnes and Noble so I assuming I will have to wait until it makes it way over here. Perhaps, I will read [bookcov..."

If I'm recalling correctly it seems to me that Decca and Unity were close as sisters but it was Diana who she idolized. I believe in "The Sisters" she was quoted as saying that because of her idolization of her she could not get pass what Diana later became in life. Perhaps with Unity, because she was always a bit eccentric and always considered not quite "normal" there were less expectations set for her. With Diana, usually considered the favorite of the sisters perhaps the expectations were set too high. I also agree with what you said about Unity's suicide.. maybe Decca felt her life post suicide attempt was enough punishment where as Diana eventually fell back in normal life, with the man she loved, something she could never have with Esmond.

Bridget wrote: "Rab wrote: "Bridget wrote: "Rab wrote: "Bridget wrote: "Our US Amazon site does not list it nor Barnes and Noble so I assuming I will have to wait until it makes it way over here. Perhaps, I will r..."

That does make more sense then, it's always harder if someone you admire exceeds expectations in an entirely wrong way. I agree about Unity, maybe her infatuation with Hitler was too surprising, It's interesting because as children they did seem obsessed with Nazi's, In "Hons And Rebels" she mentions that they carved swastikas into the windows together (Decca and Unity)so perhaps it was just eccentricity.
Oh Esmond's death was terrible, I really liked him.

I know I adored Esmond and was sad for Decca and their daughter Dinky. It was a tragedy she never got to meet her dad.

Yea, Unity always seemed offbeat so I don't think her involvement with Hitler was shocking. I think it would have been more shocking if she married into "society" and settled down and had a family.

I think what shocked me the most was Sydney's attitude toward Hitler and how she felt comfortable with Unity's obsession with him. Who in their right mind would be okay with their daughter following and being personally involved with a man committing genocide???? Kudos for David recognizing what a monster Hitler was. It was sad to read that Sydney's and David's marriage deteriorated but who could blame him, how can you be happily married to someone who does not share the same morals as you?

Bridget wrote: "I know I adored Esmond and was sad for Decca and their daughter Dinky. It was a tragedy she never got to meet her dad.

Yea, Unity always seemed offbeat so I don't think her involvement with Hitler..."

They named their daughter Dinky?! ...I had no idea
I guess that's where Unity differed from Diana - who actually did kind of settle down.
I didn't understand either of their attitudes towards Hitler, it's quite ironic that David owned a gold mine or something in Swastika, Ontario. Most of the family bar Jessica and Nancy were very right wing, fascist supporters. And although you say David recognised Hitler as a monster, this was only at the outbreak of WW2. Before that he was as bad as Unity.
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Fr...) There's the link if you'd like to read more about him.
It's strange that Jessica never spoke to her father again, even though he renounced his views on Hitler, but she was reconciled with her mother. It's the same conundrum as with the Jessica-Unity-Diana argument

Dinky (or Donk) was a nickname she was given to her while Decca was pregnant, her real name was Constancia(I believe she was named after some author but please don't quote me on that.)

Unity did not appear to be one who wanted to settle down. Although I liked young Unity she did not appear to be warm nor have maternal instinct in her.

It's hard for me to understand anyone who had any warm feelings towards Hitler but maybe that is because I am looking at it from someone born three decades after his death? Its just so hard to comprehend the fact that so many knew of Hitler's treatment and extermination (Jews, Homosexuals, Gypsies, disabled, etc.)even before the war broke out and not only accepted it but approved of it! It makes me wonder what kind of world we were born into?!?

I find it very fascinating how political the family was and even more so how they let it tear them apart.

Didn't David tell Decca he basically washed his hands of her after he found out she ran away with Esmond?

Bridget I have this on my TBR by Stephen Dorril as it will (hopefully) provide more information on Diana through a "non-Mitford" biography. It also has references to Tom, Debo, Decca, Nancy, Pam and of course Unity in the index.

Thank you Geevee, I will have to put it on my TBR also. I find the time era between the 1900s - 1940s fascinating so Im sure I will like it. It will also give me a chance to learn more about Oswald Mosley. Being that I'm from the states, I know very little of him.

Bridget wrote: "Dinky (or Donk) was a nickname she was given to her while Decca was pregnant, her real name was Constancia(I believe she was named after some author but please don't quote me on that.)

Unity did n..."

Yeah, I liked most of them when they were young, they seemed only quirky and not full blown fascists.
It is unbelievable that pretty much an entire nation can agree to support such a monster, and not even under the pretense of fear - but actual allegiance. I don't think it's entirely a generation thing, it's hardly rocket science to realise that Hitler was insane, albeit a fantastic manipulator.
Did he? I've never really read about David's reaction, though I understand the girls were expected to marry well

After World War 1, Germany suffered a huge blow to their economy. I have read that many Germans were very desperate to get back to their prewar status and must have thrown their conscious and ethics out the window to better their immediate everyday lives. The Germans needed a glimpse of hope and because of the improvements Hitler made, they believed in him.

Please understand I am not condoning their lack of morals, what happened during that time was a great tragedy, Im just trying to get inside the mind of a German citizen after WW1. As a matter of fact, I am half Polish and in the village, Kamionka, where my great grandfather grew up, there was a labor camp. Although I am a 3rd generation American and I am not Jewish, I feel great sadness about this. http://www.museumoffamilyhistory.com/...

I will have to look back in my book but I am pretty sure David's reaction was not very pleasant. I am sure it was just his first initial instinct (being that it was stated over and over that he was temperamental) but Im sure Decca took it to heart and carried that grudge with her for the rest of her life.

Decca was the most interesting. The others were loathsome.

I choose Pam; because her interests are closest to my own. Pam lived the life of a tweedy British country gentlewoman; something I would love to do if given the chance. Except for her inability to have children, I think Pam had the best life of them all.

All the Mitford girls were interesting. I particularly enjoyed reading about the adult lives of Nancy and Debo.

Unity was a real trip. I have tried to see things with her eyes, pretending I know none of the things I know about Hitler, I have tried to look at him objectively from Unity's viewpoint.......and I still see nothing to be attracted to. I just don't get it. Unity was definitely the most bizarre Mitford.

As for Decca and Diana; I can only hope that the strength of their political convictions helped to bolster their spirits through all the pain caused by the same. So sad to see families separated by politics; Diana imprisoned and Decca disowned. I'm apolitical these days (oh, I have my political convictions, but since I live in the US and my convictions do not fit neatly into one of two camps I am pretty much disenfranchised......around these part you had better subscribe to either Agendogma A or Agendogma B or you have no voice whatsoever) which helps me have great relationships with everyone in my family. I learned a thing or two from the Mitfords.

Unity was the one I found most fascinating. She made such odd choices, and the descriptions of her life in Germany with her giant dog and her romantic pursuit of Hitler were fascinating.

However, they were all fascinating. It's hard to believe these people were real. I've read the bio three times to try to convince myself!

Unity definitely, what did she see that we can't. Hitler apparently was very charming to women but it's beyond me ( and he was also completely mad). Also how do you shoot yourself in the head and survive.
I thought Diana was interesting because she didn't ever change her mind about Fascism. Decca was the other extreme.
I always see Nancy as stuck in the middle gently making fun of all the others, and Debo towing the line and marrying an aristo