Sci-Fi, fantasy and speculative Indie Authors Review discussion

The Journeyman

(Contemporary Fantasy)

Blurb: The Commons: Book 1: The Journeyman

Sample: https://www.goodreads.com/reader/5773...

The Journeyman: thumbs up.

Cover: Not crazy about the cover - I know it's a collage, but it still looks a bit messy to me and if I was standing in a bookshop with ten thousand other books all screaming for attention, I don't think this is the one which would win. Also, it wasn't clear (to me anyway, looking at it for the first time) which was the title.

Blurb: On the other hand, the (apparently) contradictory first line of both blurb and book certainly did get my attention - it makes you go "What?" straight away. One possible ambiguity was whether the "only guide left to lead them" refers to the monk, or to someone else, but apart from that it's a top-class blurb - one of the best I've read here so far.

Sample: There were a couple of ideas I thought I recognised: the people-suspended-in-cocoons scene is straight out of the Aliens films, and the Envoy's 1950's-style message tubes reminded me of Winston Smith's cubicle in Nineteen Eighty-Four. I liked the writing itself though: it's very readable (without a typo in sight as far as I remember), there's some nice imagery and I liked the sudden switch from the crashed bus to the weird Envoy in his empty building. There was one phrase I didn't understand: "A weather-on-the-ones update" ("weather-on-the-ones"?)

Michael wrote: "Title: The Commons: Book 1: The Journeyman

Genre: Contemporary Fantasy

Sample link: Link to Goodreads reader

"

Cover: Interesting. May not have been immediately eye catching for me, but I tend to read the blurb first, so the colors definitely would have drawn me in.

Blurb: Interesting, but feels a tad strung out. Not sure if it's too much information, or not enough. Still enough to pique interest and would have led me to the sample.

Sample: Well done. It has the feel of "War of the Worlds" to it with its own unique flare. Not sure if I'd have picked it up on my own, or not at first, but now that I've read the sample, I do want to read more.

I didn't notice any plot holes, and my editing ability for much beyond content is slim to none, so not going to head into that. The pacing had a nice flow to it, as did the introduction for the characters.

Verdict? Thumbs up.

Thumbs up.

Cover: Not the most eye catching, but professional quality.

Blurb: Like Richard, the first line took me a moment to parse. I like that it suggests a unique concept and would definitely pick up the book based on the blurb.

Excerpt: The first two chapters set a dark tone and I like that. Not that this really has anything to do with anything, but for some reason, this read like an alternate reality NYC to me. I have nothing to explain this, so maybe it was just me. Well written and no obvious grammar/typo issues.

And to Richard:weather on the ones may refer to a weather update that happens every ten minutes, like at 12:01, 12:11, 12:21, etc. Where I'm at we have traffic and weather updates every ten minutes during rush hour on nearly every radio station.

Every ten minutes? You must either have extremely interesting weather or unbelievably boring radio programmes.

A little of both, really. Weather on the ones is an NYC thing on the all-news station. It's a tradition that predates the Internet and smart phones, so when you got up in the morning and wanted to know whether it would rain or snow that day, you knew you could tune in, hear the headlines, and find out what the forecast was.

The all-news stations tended to have musical jingles and sound effects that were very frenetic and irritating. Thus, it made for a more stressful start to the day than was necessary, but I still have a soft spot for them.

And thanks for the thoughtful comments, all—much appreciated.

Cover: Can't say I like the cover. The sign is interesting, and I think the cover would have grabbed my attention more if it was just the sign, title and author name. It would have been simpler and more appealing to the eye, but that is just my opinion.

Blurb: The first sentence confused me, I read it twice at least before continuing on, but once I got through the blurb, I felt it might be an interesting read. I think the first line confused ma and got me interested at the same time. So the blurb does work.

Sample: I read the first chapter and I think the writing is good, and I think well proof read, at least I couldn't spot any typos. It is an interesting beginning. Not quite sure what to make of it yet, but it does have an interesting mood.

One question: are there pictures in this book? In the sample I read here on Goodreads there are ? signs in blue boxes which I think means that there should have been a picture there.

A slightly cautious thumbs up.

The original file included fleurons for section breaks, but the images apparently didn't come through in the PDF sample, unfortunately.

Thank you for the feedback, Hákon.

VOTE: Thumbs down, with regrets, to emphasize that for this reader, the cover and blurb do the writing a disservice.

NOTE: I looked at all this quickly, as I would when considering a new author. So I may have missed or misunderstood something...

COVER: Overall I don't like it. The top and the bottom don't make sense together and the combination does not please these eyes. I love the text and the cut-out questionmark against the black background. But some of that black rectangle has a crude rough edge while the rest is clean/sharp - which makes the crude look like a mistake. All or no sides should have rough edges.

BLURB: I don't understand it. I loved the beginning but lost the thread as I kept going. There are certain words that threw me and could be ditched "ITS souls", "IMAGINARY landscape". "ALONG FOR THE RIDE ARE A"... And I have no clue who/what "the only guide left to lead them" refers to. Is that Paul Reid? If I were out in the world looking for a book, I would have been snagged by the first two paragraphs of the blurb, but concerned about the author's ability to write clearly by the time I got to the bottom of it.

EXCERPT: I enjoyed the excerpt. The writing is strong, terse, compelling. However, I am cheap and I am busy. So, unless the book were free, I would not download it because the cover and blurb induced fear that the author would not sustain this quality of writing.

Sue, the copyright material you see is put there by Amazon. It's because you were looking at the paperback version.

G.G. wrote: "Sue, the copyright material you see is put there by Amazon. It's because you were looking at the paperback version."

Hey I see it now on my cover too! Why would they do that? Well, nm. Obviously I never looked at that fine print before. Thanks, will remove that from my comments above.