Jade Mountain Academy discussion
Jokes
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[deleted user]
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Oct 28, 2020 02:30PM
Here's the best place to shamelessly tell all your best jokes
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my friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. "That's my stepladder." He said. "I never knew my real ladder"
I just found out i'm color blind. The news came out of the purple!
In America, using the metric system can get you in legal trouble.
In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.
In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bread
Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. (that's the punch line)
I’m addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums. I need Help.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
I'm reading a horror story in braille. Something bad is going to happen, I can just feel it.
“Just say NO to drugs!” Well, if I’m talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
Just got back from a job interview where I was asked if I could perform under pressure. I said I wasn’t too sure about that but I could do a wicked “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day. Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? “Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”
In my free time, I like to help blind people. Verb, not adjective.
Ugh, i gtg now. my mom told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
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•- VîÇk †hε I¢£Wï∩G -•, Your head mod that exists... Sometimes!
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AAAA my favorite one is about the horror story in braille! All of them are funny, but that one is my favorite
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The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?”
Son: “Yeah.”
Detector: “Beep.“
Son: “OK, OK, I was at the movies.”
Detector: “Beep.”
Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.”
Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“
Detector: “Beep.”
Mother laughs: “Ha! He really is your son!”
Detector: “Beep.”
message 25:
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•- VîÇk †hε I¢£Wï∩G -•, Your head mod that exists... Sometimes!
(last edited Nov 04, 2020 06:57PM)
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At weddings l, old people tap me on the shoulder and say “You’re next.” So at funerals, I started doing the same thing to them.
Thorn wrote: "At weddings l, old people tap me on the shoulder and say “You’re next.” So at funerals, I started doing the same thing to them."
Omgs amazing. Fricking amazing.
Omgs amazing. Fricking amazing.
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message 31:
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Thorn wrote: "At weddings l, old people tap me on the shoulder and say “You’re next.” So at funerals, I started doing the same thing to them."
LMAO where did you find that did you make it up?
LMAO where did you find that did you make it up?
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Sounds kinda like a death threat but, it made me laugh of all the things! (view spoiler)
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I’m on mobile so I can’t reply to anything but I didn’t make the weddings and funerals joke up, I wish I did.A couple years ago, at my school, there was an assembly and something happened (I forget what but it probably wasn’t that important) and a bunch of the students got up on stage and started telling jokes, one girl told that joke and that’s the only one I remember. So now I tell it whenever I get the chance. XD
If we aren’t supposed to eat midnight snacks, then why is there a little light in the refrigerator?(view spoiler)
Huh... you're right lol
Why did the ninja cross the road? Because he wanted to get hit by a car: obviously Lloyd, he never thinks he can find the good in people, after failing a bunch of times.
I suck at this...
he has won lots of battles, but never really made the villains be nice again. SOME, but there's also some who he didn't "cure"...\UwU/
I suck at this...
he has won lots of battles, but never really made the villains be nice again. SOME, but there's also some who he didn't "cure"...\UwU/
The "E|" looks nothing like a thumbs up but whatevs UwU
I'm ur next water master remember when Lloyd farts in the hot tub? HJAHHAHHHHAHAHAHHAHHHAH!!!!!!!!!1!!!1!!1
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