Christian Beta Readers discussion

Would you read a novel with this blurb?

What if an enemy captured you by controlling your desires?

Rising from the waters of a mysterious pond, Adam finds himself in a strange new world, a golden paradise. Ten years later, obsessed with finding the pond and his way back home, Adam receives a suspicious message from an enigmatic little girl inviting him to the high country, which is at war with the golden paradise.

Once captured, Adam and his friend Abigail must discover what holds them captive, who they can trust, and how to break free before time runs out.

A compelling Christian allegory, D. Richard Ferguson’s Escape From Paradise is a spiritually-driven Action-Adventure Fantasy, a theological detective story portraying the way to spiritual growth and lasting change through deep joy and transformed desires.

An inspirational and emotionally-gripping novel of faith, courage, and restoration, Adam’s journey shines with fast-paced action and layers of spiritual meaning.

Prepare to be thrilled, moved, and changed by Escape from Paradise.

It sounds intriguing.

Hi, D.
Would you be open to suggestions for your blurb's tense and grammar? I'm new here and like to help, but don't want to overstep either! :-)