aspiring authors discussion

READ THIS!!!

Before I get into Proper Poetry Etiquette, I would like to say that there is a big TW (trigger warning) on here. Many people on here suffer from mental illness and it is shown in the poetry, so be warned.

Proper Poetry Etiquette:

1. Do not critique a poem without the person explicitly asking for critiques. A lot of poems on here are vent poems and aren't meant to be fleshed out.
2. Do not call someone's poem bad or anything mean like that. Always be respectful and if you don't like it, don't say anything at all.
3. Remember to check in! The people on here, as I've stated, often have mental illnesses and you should make sure to support them when they're feeling down. :)

OMG!!!! I love that !! It's so beautiful and...poetic !

I'll just put a little poem I wrote (inspired one of my current wips, actually) for feedback-
I don't write poetry a lot so I'd love critiques.

Beware, little hero. They say that hell is empty, and all the devils are here. That is not true. Hell is empty but the devils aren’t around us. They’re in us.
Beware, little hero. They say the brightest angels make the darkest demons. The devil himself was the loveliest of angels once. The higher you climb, the question becomes: what will you become when you fall?
Beware, little hero. You call me a monster, but at least I know what I am. Can you say the same? Better a free monster than a weighted god.
Beware, little hero. The weight of your wings are heavy. If you cannot fly, they will only serve as chains.
Beware, little hero. You would lay down your life for those who would not do the same for you. And for what—fate? Destiny? They tell you you’re chosen but let me tell you a secret:
Beware, little hero. There is no great plan; no Fate; no destiny lighting your path. Choose wisely, because the right choice is not choosing at all.
Beware, little hero. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel. Make sure you’re carrying your own torch, or you will be forced to be led by the flame from the bridges you burnt.

Alex wrote: "I'll just put a little poem I wrote (inspired one of my current wips, actually) for feedback-
I don't write poetry a lot so I'd love critiques.

Beware, little hero. They say that hell is empty, an..."

I'm not very good at critiquing poetry but it looks GOOD !!! Hopefully someone more experienced can help you out, but WOW

every emo child went on hello poetry lol

Katie wrote: "Sometimes

Somedays,
I feel as if I grow years in minutes;
Just for the cord to snap and shrink back to my age.

Sometimes,
I feel as if the minutes go by as days;
Until I remember what time I’m ..."

Really? I'm a sucker for poetry. But YOURS. Oh woah. That's all I can say. You're gonna be a great poet if you wanna be , Katie, I know that for sure.

you guys are such good poets!

Katie wrote: "Eternal sunsets,
And handwritten notes from the stars.
Distant melodies,
And perfect mistakes I said to you.
Words that can be taken back,
And nights that last forever.
If I could tell you I l..."

Katie that's so beautiful!

I wrote this two years ago for a story.

A pair that is equal and blood of the same
One for the future burning bright, one for the past dismal night
One of darkness and one of light
One to build and one to destroy
One for the earth and one for the sky
One of wonder and one to cry
One will live and the other must die

Not really sure if this counts as poetry.

it definitely counts! and it’s amazing!!

Cool thanks! I have another one for something different if you want to hear/read it.

Nicole wrote: "Aja Maire, the poem is so beautiful! If you pushed it for a story, the story must be really great!
And I'd love to read another poem"

Thanks! Unfortunately the story never got very far, but I have plans to reboot it.

I'll post the poem in a few minutes.

Earth shall fall, darkness arise
Shadows come alive as fires die; an icy breeze shall drench us all
For a golden mist shall be her fall, and he will destroy it beauty and all
He will survive with his shadows; she will lose all earths' mighty power
A city of bones is where she lies, clothed in crimson, tears in eyes
Once a shadow, twice a vine, thrice a rose, but will she live or will she die.

I was depressed when I wrote this back in the summer. I also have a story idea for this one that I'll hopefully bring back soon.

That is so good!

Nicole wrote: "That's soooo good omg!"

Alice wrote: "That is so good!"

Thanks guys!

@Aja Marie that’s beautiful! :))

Sophie wrote: "@Aja Marie that’s beautiful! :))"

Thanks!

Hush my lover
and watch the ocean glisten
as its cries
rock us to sleep

The stars are exquisite
are they now?
Falling from an inky net
into our lives

Your invisible hands
they soothe me
into sleep
where I never see you

-a new lullaby, for old lovers

Isabella that's so beautiful!

Thank you!!

that us so cool !!!
wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better than rupi kaur :)

Omg really?? That’s a huge compliment!! 😁

All these poems are amazing!!! I love poetry but I always feel like it's no good. Does anyone have any tips?

I always feel like mines no good, that is

Heres one:

Theres fairies in the garden,
You can tell me that I'm wrong,
But on a quiet night,
You can hear the fairies' song,
It sounds like tiny whispers,
Easily mistaken for the breeze,
But they sing so sweetly,
As they dance upon the leaves,
The children sit on the toad stools,
While the mothers prepare the food,
The rest of them talk and sing,
It's always a pleasant mood,
In the very corner if the garden,
Theres a tall and leafy palace,
Hidden in the star shaped ivy,
Theres a queen filled with sadness,
She lives apart from the others,
With her bees and butterflies,
Centuries later, shes still not over,
How she was fed all those lies,
Her soul has been scarred,
But her hearts made of pure gold,
She will continue to walk the land,
Until her secret has been told.

(Sorry it's so long XP)

omg guys literally these poems are amazing!! how do you do it?!?!!?

Omg! that's such a cool poem. it sounds like the plot to a story almost?? heh

Katie wrote: "I wrote another poem:


Fabrications

It’s the shaking
Coursing through my veins.
The feeling I get in my chest,
The tightness in my sides.
It’s the breathless daydreams
And pretend goodnight..."

relatable !!

@nicole thank you so much!!
and @Katie that's amazing and so very relatable :))

Guys I love them!!

Katie, you need to slow down my friend. XD

Kelsie, It was very beautiful.

I find it helpful to let my emotions and what's around me help 'craft' the poem. I also do it with a story idea in my head. people, a place, etc.
Find something that "speaks" to you and see where it leads you from there.

Katie wrote: "Wait what do you mean I need to slow down?????"

XD nevermind

Katie wrote: "Was my poem too fast paced??
I can try and restructure it 👉👈"

Oh no it's not the poem! I loved it :)

Just forget I said anything, okay? I was thinking one thing and typing something different.

Naw I'm sorry

"but i am made of QUEERS"

yesssss we stan <3333

Rein,
Wow....your words just brought tears to my eyes. They are very true and I know how some of that feels like. I know what that pain feels like and this was a beautiful way to say it. Good job.

rein ☾ [im not good enough] wrote: "i have a few short poems. would love some criticism thanks
tw for pain, suicide, neglect, depression

vacuums can suck papers,
wrappers and even some stains,
too bad it cant,
erase all my pain



P..."

i love this with all my heart. please please please come out with a poetry book or something :)

Katie wrote: "Wow Rein those hit hard...

Awesome job!!!"

Very hard....they brought me back to that dark time. But I'm also going through some stuff right now as well so....

Thanks Katie!

@Rein that was beautiful and very heartfelt. if you need to talk I'm also here :)

aww

that's so sad and intense, but even though you wont think my opinion valid, you should stay. you must stay. your mind is a rare one; you are so unique and you must keep living. even for the small things.

Rein.....I have no words....and I not sure if that's a good thing.....don't get me wrong their good.....it's just.....it's like all my pain is now out in the open....and I'm not sure how I feel.....

I'm different
and they say that it's good
but what is the cost?
I dont know if I should
tell you the problems of being this way
but the list is so long
it would take all of today

endless nights of crying
and days full of doubt
sick of small talk and roblox
as I wonder what life's all about


and try as I might
no one will think the same
so I'm stuck in half-hearted friendships
who wont ask 'what is a name?'


and my thoughts differ so greatly
I'm always offending my peers
but I cant help thinking why
small talk isnt one of their fears


I'm different
and this is the cost
I'm without a true friend
i always feel lost


I'm too alien for this world
a world that doesnt talk
a world that doesnt seek
for answers hiding in the dark

I'm tired of these two faced people
I'm tired of their remarks
I'm tired of their unwillingness to learn
to live, to laugh, to talk

I know there is people out there
who do think the same as me
but they are hiding in the corners
that the rest are shielding from me

and it continues for a page and a half.....



I am a bomb
silently ticking away
so dont be surprised
if I explode
because by then
I will be beyond caring
about your pathetic words
intending to hurt me
guess what?



your words
dont work :)

sorry that's so long... I had a brain dump a while ago and this is what came out of it

thank you :D and no problem!

Why is everything so true??......I'm crying....again....

haha, dont cry! try to turn your emotions into something positive

through that poem I did, I wrote myself out of sadness about not having friends. I have no idea how, but it worked.

yes
it hurts
when you've never known joy
but it hurts
so much more
when you've felt it
and you've had it
brutally stolen away from you
and you learn
that that joy?
it wasnt genuine
they lied
and you realise
you fell into their trap
again.