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Sofia, duckish things
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Jan 23, 2021 09:03AM
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You know what.. I will take one for the team and go first FEEL FREE TO SAY WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
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Sofia wrote: "I would add some space between the paragraphs!"good to know! thank you :)
this year i've started writing actual in-depth reviews, so i'm fairly new to this thing. all constructive critisism is appreciated! thanks, guys :) https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
@mashlovesbooks thank you! i'll try that. and i gave up on making my reviews look professional when i look my caps off lol
Mashlovesbooks wrote: "Ahh Booksie I want to read your review but I haven’t read the book yet. When I finish it I will definitely read the review :)"EEEEEKKKKK, You're so sweet!
wow u guys r rlly good at review writing
FireLily wrote: "can I have some criticism for my review?https://www.goodreads.com/review/show..."
I am aware of the fact that I am responding a month later-
I loved this review! It was very well structured, had the right amount of memes and was fun to read! I think you should go a little bit more into what you liked about the paranormal aspect! But that's my only advice!
Maple wrote: "wow u guys r rlly good at review writing"*tears* THANK YOUUUU
Would love some feedback for these reviews :The cruel prince -https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
The selection-https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Bhavya wrote: "Would love some feedback for these reviews :The cruel prince -https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
The selection-https://www.goodreads.com/r..."
I like how you talk so in-depth about the plot and world without spoiling anything, that gives me a really strong idea of what both of the books are about even though I've never read either. Your criticisms for both also seem well though-out and are actually helpful when I'm deciding whether I'd want to read them.
I'm not sure which format I prefer for setting up the review-in all honesty, they read very similarly. Maybe the first is slightly more consistent, because you have a header for characters? Honestly, I'm not sure.
The only thing I didn't really like was that in your review for the selection, you sometimes bold words? And I can't figure out why. It's a little weird to read, but that may just be me. Other than that, I really love both of your reviews!
Cassie wrote: "Does anyone have any feedback for this review?https://www.goodreads.com/review/show..."
I liked how you compared the events in the novel to your personal experience while also looking at the novel through a critical view. I think the only notes I have is that you should separate your paragraphs. kinda like this
"This was a very quick, cute read!
As a teenager with anxiety, books have always been Alex's only escape. But when she buys a book from a mysterious disappearing bookstore, this may become more literal than she ever thought possible.
All libraries are magical. Some are just more magical than others.
One of the highlights of the book for me was Alex herself. It was interesting to see how her anxiety affected her daily life and her relationships, and I loved how she was a generally selfless person but her anxiety made it hard for her to see past her own needs. That felt very realistic and true to life. Her arc of learning to push past her nerves when it was important and to not let her anxiety control her life was well done, and she's definitely a character I'd love to read more about.
However, the writing was a bit rough-there were multiple times I was pulled out of the story by a clunky phrasing or odd word choice, and it hit on one of my personal peeves, which is not using contractions in dialogue (No one says "We are going to the store." They'd say "We're going to the store"). This bothered me a lot.
That said, the concept of this book was awesome. Magical libraries are a book-lover's dream, so it was really fun to learn about that with Alex. I also appreciated that the book's plot itself was wrapped up fairly well, so even though there were untapped mysteries to explore in future books, the ending was satifying.
Although I wish that some of the aforementioned untapped mysteries had been tapped a little more this book. I felt a like a lot of the more interesting aspects of the story were being neglected. I want to know where the library comes from, how it actually works, what's going on with Darcy, what happened to that one fairy . . . basically everything except the plot with Elaine. Not that the plot with Elain wasn't good, it just wasn't what I wanted to read. This was probably just me.
This was still a cute, fun read, and I'll be reading the sequel for Alex if nothing else. Here's hoping the writing style improves over time, and that I get some of my questions answered. :)"
this is just a suggestion, but maybe you could bold certain highlights of your review. it really catches the reader's attention, and they can look for certain points you make in your review easily.
Lanae Anne wrote: "Cassie wrote: "Does anyone have any feedback for this review?https://www.goodreads.com/review/show..."
I liked how you compared the even ts in the novel to your personal experience while ..."
i agree with this! you could also include quotes you liked to break up the text.
Bhavya wrote: "Would love some feedback for these reviews :The cruel prince -https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
The selection-https://www.goodreads.com/r..."
The Cruel Prince was a great review
the memes were a little too straight forward and you kind of just praised the book but I guess that's fine bc u liked the book.
Overall great review
Cassie wrote: "Okay, thank you!!"you're welcome! I hope my advice was helpful!
Maple wrote: "Bhavya wrote: "Would love some feedback for these reviews :The cruel prince -https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
The selection-https://www...."
Thank you!
I wasn’t actually able to think of that many criticisms for the cruel prince which is why it is like that.. but I really enjoyed it.
Cassie wrote: "Bhavya wrote: "Would love some feedback for these reviews :The cruel prince -https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
The selection-https://www...."
Thank you!
I used bold for some words to emphasise the points, but I might edit it later. :)
katie wrote: "Lanae Anne wrote: "Cassie wrote: "Does anyone have any feedback for this review?https://www.goodreads.com/review/show..."
I liked how you compared the even ts in the novel to your persona..."
I agree!
That would make it easy to read. :)
halima 🤍 wrote: "I want to definitely write more reviews this year!! I hopefully wanna start a review blog in the summer too during my free time. This was one of my first reviews of the year. What do y’all think???..."Halima, here is my advice. :)
You can also add some points on the plot. How did the plot progress? Were there any plot twists? Were they predictable? Was the ending a good conclusion? Was there enough foreshadowing? etc.
You could also add some points on the world building. What all places were explored? how did you feel about it? etc
You've described the characters very well! Maybe you could space them out in different paragraphs to make it a bit easy to read.
I'd also say you could add a few lines to conclude your thoughts. hope this helps! :)
halima 🤍 wrote: "Thanks Bhavya!! That’s a good point actually, with the worldbuilding and plot, I never really thought deeply about those two things. I also think my review writing style is a big paragraph which I’..."I usually try to keep my reviews spoiler free and I mention theses points as they help in deciding whether to read the book or not!
Paragraph spacing definitely help in understanding the text clearly.
Thank you so much, I’m glad my reviews make you laugh. :)
Advice for my reviews?Legacy (a bit of mad ranting, with at least a couple issues)- https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World (contemplative stuff)- https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Yuna wrote: "Advice for my reviews?Legacy (a bit of mad ranting, with at least a couple issues)- https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World (contemplative stuff)..."
Your review for legacy was excellent!
You pointed out all your issues with the book, and your criticisms were valid.
The only advice I’d give you is to space out the points slightly, it would be easier to read. :)
@Yuna For the legacy review, the only note I have is maybe you could separate the paragraphs more. it just makes it easier to read, so maybe you could do it like this. "This review has been sitting in my google drive for months. Mostly because it’s a very ranty review, and I don’t like being too negative towards things that authors write and put a lot of effort into. At the end of the day though, I just disliked this book too much to not post a review on it. I’m sorry if this comes across as rude, I’m just a little frustrated.
Let me preface this review by saying that I've spent the last few years loving all the books in this series. I loved this series so much that I managed to get my dad to drive me a few hours to go and meet the author and get my book signed. Much thanks to my dad for doing that for me. I was very excited about it back in the day.
That being said, this book was just not it. And there are a lot of reasons for that. I outgrew the writing and plot, I realized the author has used the exact same plot formula for every book since the 4th or 5th one, every character has been squished into a caricature of their former selves, etc. I'm not sure what made me snap, but here we are. Let me list what exactly bothered me about this book (and series.)
1. The length of the books and series.
I have nothing against a good solid book, if said book has plenty of plot to cover that solid book. But Legacy? Did not have enough plot to cover its 789 pages.
The Keeper of the Lost Cities was supposed to be a trilogy. As of today, the book has 8.5 books in it. There is a stark difference between 3 books and 8.5 books. There is, in fact, a 5.5 book difference. That is a lot of books.
I've followed the author over the last couple of years and every time she announces more books, she says, "I might do more books, it depends on if there's enough story to fill (insert amount of books here)." The problem with this is that there isn't enough story to fill 9 books. There's only enough to fill maybe 7. Because they've been extending the number of books so far past its storyline limit, they’ve essentially copy-pasted the same formula for each book past the storyline limit. It’s essentially an 800-page Rainbow Magic book.
Every time, the Neverseen beats Sophie's team, and then they have to spend time recuperating while they learn new information that “changes everything.” Then, a big battle happens and the stakes are higher than ever. And then big surprise, the Neverseen beats them yet again. A few more events happen until we get to the end of the book, where there awaits a big fat cliffhanger. I would like at least a little variety.
2. The constant cliffhangers
A cliffhanger can be a good way to keep your audience interested in the next book of a series. However, this technique loses its efficiency when your audience doesn't care about that cliffhanger anymore. Which is what happened to me. I miss when these books had endings that didn't end in the most suspenseful part of the entire book. There is just as much value in a happy ending as there is in a cliffhanger.
Cliffhangers also lose their potency when there's no real suspense behind the cliffhanger- which I feel is the case with some of the Keeper books. A few times I have definitely read these books, got to the end, and went "okay...SO?"
3. Dramatic prefaces
This criticism is a little uncalled for, I just wanted to point it out. I think the prefaces are unnecessary but not detrimental to the book.
At the beginning of every Keeper book, there’s a preface filled with dramatic phrases that don’t really mean anything, like “we can’t keep doing this.” “We can’t keep doing this” is a fine statement, but the thing is, only when there’s proper context surrounding it. To this statement, I could easily say: I agree Sophie, there’s no way I can keep reading these books and enjoying them. And that could just as easily be a part of the book rather than whatever dramatic thing actually happens later in the book. These prefaces are just unnecessary and don't add anything to the experience of the book.
4. The "Romances"
A common tactic that is used in middle-grade books, I feel, is alluding to romances but never having actual romances. This is used a lot in this series- especially as more books have come out and the audience has gotten older. A romance is often hinted at, but almost nothing happens.
When I was younger, I was okay with this- I didn't need a romance. (for the record, I was Team Fitz all the way) And I still don’t need a romance in order to enjoy a story. But if you’re going to hint at one for seven-ish books (there was a tiny bit of payoff in the seventh book, I’ll give the author that) and just not do anything? I have an issue with that. I already know that Keefe is going to be the person she ends up with, so let's get on with it.
And THEN the matchmaking lists. They are talked about so much, and it's a tad frustrating to have all this buildup to romance- and then NOT have any romance? These books aren't targeted towards me at this point, but I think that romance should be dropped as a topic or less alluding to romantic relationships should be happening because I am tired of it.
5. Character Assassination with Fitz
Fitz might have been my 11-year-old self's favorite character. He was dreamy, smart, and had pretty eyes (oh, also they talk way too much about eyes in this series. Sophie has brown eyes. She's "not like other elves." SO WHAT). Fitz was basically everything I wanted from a fictional character.
And then it was sort of made clear that Fitz had anger management issues. If you've read the books, I think his blow-ups were actually a bit understandable, like very difficult things were happening. But I don’t like how they’re never acknowledged and Fitz never gets any help. Do elves have therapy? Maybe he should go to therapy because the guy has a lot going on and clearly is not receiving help for it. Keefe should attend therapy too.
And besides his anger management issues, he just feels inconsistent. I can't quite describe it because it's been ages since I've read the books in full, but he's sort of becoming both boring and unlikeable. He’s been boiled down to his bad qualities and it’s just not fun to read him anymore.
And just halfway through this novel, even I was begging for an end to the Fitzphie. They're just a really bad couple, and I hate saying that. Sophie’s annoying, and Fitz needs therapy and an actual friend (and no, I don’t mean his frenemy Keefe.)
6.Character Irrelevance with Dex
Dex has been listed as one of Sophie’s best friends since the first book, and he was a contender in the weird ‘love square’ that existed for a while between Sophie and basically every other guy friend she had. But ever since book one, he’s slowly been fading into irrelevance. He barely shows up anymore, unless he’s giving Sophie some kind of gadget to help her with her powers.
And yet Dex and Sophie are still somehow best friends. They never spend any time together. Ms. Messenger, please give it up. They are not best friends. If anyone is best friends with Sophie it’s Keefe.
This is an issue that comes up when the author wants to introduce a bunch of new characters. In this series, every few books or so a new couple of characters are introduced, and they’re all fine. And these new characters also mean that the old characters are pushed aside and barely seen. It’s almost like the author gets tired of writing certain characters and introduces new ones because she can’t keep the old ones consistent. Oh wait
7. Character Over-angsting with Keefe Sencen
Look, I love angst. I love cute boys with blonde hair. (See: Spook from the Mistborn Trilogy for an angsty blonde boy that I love.) But listen to me when I say this: KEEFE IS TOO ANGSTY. Sorry. That’s the way this is. He needs to stop talking about how much he hates his parents and what they did to him and he needs to start doing things.
8. Overpowered Characters with Miss Overpowered herself- SOPHIE FOSTER
I’ve read my fair share of overpowered characters. There are plenty of them. But Sophie? She just takes it to a whole new level. It's interesting how even though she's incredibly overpowered, she cannot solve basically any of her problems. ANY of them.
Final Thoughts
My point in this review is not that Shannon Messenger is a bad writer. I loved these books when they were targeted at me, and I might have still liked them if I was still that 12-year-old anxiously waiting for the next installment to be released so that I could finally have some answers.
But the thing is that I’m not. And now I sort of look back on these years as wasted time because I’m not invested in the series anymore. There is no way I’m going to be reading any more filler books from this series (see: Book 8.5, which is a whole other rant that I could go on but I won’t because I'm trying to have self-restraint). I think all of this could have been avoided if the series had ended much, much earlier.
I would recommend these books to 10-13-year-olds that don’t mind meandering plots and cash grabs because that is what this series is full of. I sincerely doubt that I will ever read a book of this series again. I, quite honestly, do not care in the slightest about how this series will end, and I never thought I would be saying that."
@Yuna and for the "The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World" review, I don't have any notes. it was a great review; short and simple. oh, and sorry my "note" for the last review looks so long. when I spaced the review, it made the page a lot longer.
Yuna wrote: "Advice for my reviews?Legacy (a bit of mad ranting, with at least a couple issues)- https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World (contemplative stuff)..."
I liked your review for the handsomest drowned man as well.
I didn’t even know such a book existed...
But I think this seems to be the kind of story which everyone perceives in their own way.
Maybe you could quote one or 2 lines from the book where you can show how everyone reacts, but even if you don’t do that it’s still a good review. :)
Thanks so much! I just spaced out the points on the Legacy review and I think it looks a lot better now. :)
@Bhavya good advice! I'll keep that in mind when I write reviews in the future, I think it would probably add a lot to the review.
Yuna wrote: "@Bhavya good advice! I'll keep that in mind when I write reviews in the future, I think it would probably add a lot to the review."Thanks!
Glad I could help. :)
Would appreciate any feedback for these reviews. :)The invisible life of Addie LaRue-https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Shadow and bone-
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Bhavya wrote: "Would appreciate any feedback for these reviews. :)The invisible life of Addie LaRue-https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Shadow and bone-
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show......"
Your The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue review was great. It had a perfect balance of memes, quotes, opinion and explanation. One thing I think, was that you came off as very calm in the review, that might be your personality and I am in no way trying to be rude. So, my one criticism was that I think that since you had complaints about the book you could have been a little more snarky and ranty ( it might just make it a little more enjoyable for people reading the review). I hope this doesn't come across as rude.
Maple wrote: "Bhavya wrote: "Would appreciate any feedback for these reviews. :)The invisible life of Addie LaRue-https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Shadow and bone-
https://www.goodreads.com/re..."
Thank you so much!
I guess I do have a calm personality so you’re right about that. :)
Even though I had issues, they didn’t anger me the way they usually do in some books. (cough cough glass sword).
I totally get what you’re saying. I think I’ll rewrite it if I ever read the book again. You didn’t come off rude at all!
You don't need to rewrite it unless you want to, and I'm glad it didn't seem rude, lol. It was a really great review, so I just didn't want to seem offensive.
Maple wrote: "You don't need to rewrite it unless you want to, and I'm glad it didn't seem rude, lol. It was a really great review, so I just didn't want to seem offensive."No, you’re not offensive at all! Don’t worry.
I’m always open to feedback. :)
I mean sometimes I do full on rant as well, but this particular book didn’t annoy me as much. :)
Bhavya wrote: "I mean sometimes I do full on rant as well, but this particular book didn’t annoy me as much. :)"lol, yea
Would anybody mind looking over my review of this annoying book I had to read for school? It's called Ivy Aberdeens Letter to the World.The review : https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Maple wrote: "Would anybody mind looking over my review of this annoying book I had to read for school? It's called Ivy Aberdeens Letter to the World.The review : https://www.goodreads.com/review/show......"
I think it’s a great review.
I’d advise you to space it out a bit, and to put the quotes you are using in italics and block quote, so it becomes easy to read. :)
Bhavya wrote: "Maple wrote: "Would anybody mind looking over my review of this annoying book I had to read for school? It's called Ivy Aberdeens Letter to the World.The review : https://www.goodreads.com/review..."
okay got it, thank you for the advice :)
Maple wrote: "Bhavya wrote: "Maple wrote: "Would anybody mind looking over my review of this annoying book I had to read for school? It's called Ivy Aberdeens Letter to the World.The review : https://www.goodr..."
Anytime!
Here is my review for siege and Storm- https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...(it's my first review so let me know if you have any advice)
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...This is my review of Nancy Drew book The Sign of the Twisted Candles. This is my first proper review, and I love writing and want to improve, so please, please give your suggestions honestly!!! Thank you!!!
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