the creature alliance - semi advanced discussion

it had been exactly one week since Carroway had returned. he hadn't seen either of his mothers, too focused on being cooped up in his bedroom, allowing himself to grieve. So, after he had finally cut himself apart from his room, he decided a walk in the halls would be healthy in a way, even if he just spent his time alone.

Petunia wandered down the halls, imagining herself as a magical fairy warrior. Something interrupted her thoughts and for a moment she thought a sick joke was being played on her.
"Carroway," she whispered and stood very still, believing that if she moved the illusion would go away. She repeated his name over and over, not wanting him to disappear. He didn't. Finally, she collapsed on the floor and began to sob. "Is it you? Are you real?" she asked, breathing hitched.

Carroway blinked rapidly, his own emotions flashing over his face as he came to her quickly, embracing his mother in a hug as he held her close. "I'm here, momma." He breathed into her ear.

"You're real," she whispered. For a few minutes she just stood there, unable to hug him back or do anything. Once she recovered, she pulled away, staring him hard in the face.
"It's really you. Carroway, what ever happened?" Petunia asked, examining him. He had many cuts and new scars on him to her dismay. She prodded at each of them, saying, "I'll need to get these healed. You might catch an infection."

"No, mother. they're fine." Carroway didn't want to be healed, in fact, the exact opposite. He wanted to feel something other then the pain inside. "I'll be fine." He speaks stiffly, letting go of her and sitting across from her. "Where's the others?"

"But, son, you're hurt. I can't just let you have these serious injuries," she said, pointing at a small cut as if it were a broken neck.
"The others? Well, I'm not sure where your siblings are, but Rosemary is in our bedroom right now. They're so independent nowadays. And you didn't answer my question, Carroway," she said, face suddenly set in a grim expression. "What happened? Please don't tell me someone did this to you."

"I don't...I can't tell you. I have to tell mom. She'll handle it better." Carroway looked at his mother carefully before using the wall to stand. "The bedroom, it's this way, right?" He motioned the wrong way, looking puzzled and disoriented.

Petunia looked sad, almost betrayed for a moment. "Son, no, it's that way," she said, pointing him in the other direction. "Please, Carroway. You have to at least tell someone, if not me. I'll take you there since I don't want you to injure yourself even more."

Carroway inhaled softly, his eyes following to her features before he nodded. "I'll tell mom. Hopefully she'll know not to tell you." He muttered beneath his breath before he began walking down the hallway. "I'm sorry." He added.

She looked downward. She shared a very honest relationship with Rosemary and didn't like the fact that this would be a secret. But she had just been reunited with her long lost son and didn't want to start pushing right now. But Petunia deep down hoped that he'd eventually tell her seeing as she was his mother.
"Carroway, there's no reason to be sorry," she said and kept watching him in case he might fall. "I don't know what's happening, but your mother and I are going to make sure you're safe. We'll get you anything you need, but we just want you to be happy."

Clenching a fist, he turned, bitterness filling his tone. "You don't need to hear what happened, mother. You don't need to hear about the love of my life being gutted before me as I get assaulted." He stood tall, venom in his tone. "I'm going to kill every last one of them, and I don't want you getting in the way."

Petunia bit her lip and fought back tears. All the anxiety she had treated herself from came back in one giant wave. A sob stuck in her throat and her knees shook. How could she be okay? How could she be happy? Suddenly Petunia forgot how she ever managed to be so positive.
Somewhere far off she knew the venom in his voice wasn't directed at her, but it was drowned out by the sudden encore of laughing voices and murmurs. She was a terrible mother. Her son disappeared because she didn't protect him and now she was being weak in front of him, crying in the palace halls. "I'm useless," she murmured, looking downward, caramel strands of hair sticking to her cheeks. How was she going to be okay after this? She didn't even realize she was crumbling until she was already broken, knowing her son got raped. Knowing it was her fault. Knowing the whole time he was gone she'd been smiling, having tea with her wife and talking about the weather.

Carroway straightened, shifting his head to look at her directly. "I love you, but I know you're stronger than this. Mom has been to gentle. the kingdom is falling apart, so get up and do something about it while I hunt down the bastards that killed fen." He popped his shoulder, forcing it into place against the wall before walking away.

She hardly recognized Carroway anymore. When he walked away she didn't follow. Her eyes were red rimmed and her lip was bleeding from biting it too hard. And through it all, she felt nothing. The sudden onslaught of sadness was gone. The anger she should have felt wasn't there. Petunia sat on the floor, her dress pooling around her. She had failed. She was leading her subjects to doom, her child had been harmed because of her, Fen was dead, and all of it was her fault. Petunia laughed a little, and then began to laugh some more. She laughed until she couldn't even get up if she tried. Servants skittered past anxiously, not wanting to be apart of whatever was going on. But Petunia didn't care. She'd messed up on so many levels and she didn't even understand how she'd ever be joyful again. Yet she knew this feeling would pass. Petunia, as weak as she was in this moment, was strong and would eventually recover. But for now she just lay on the floor and stared up at the ceiling, wondering what the hell she would do next.