Storytellers discussion

Chris writes general fiction and horror. novel length goal is 80,000 but short stories 1,000 - 6,000. have fun writing!

Hey guys, I'm going to post a short story I wrote for fun the other day for Halloween. Also, I tried to keep it PG-13 but when I write I like to push the envelope a bit, so please let me know if it's too much. The ending is pretty positive though, let me know what you think!

They passed under the decrepit gray archway into the cemetery and a faint shiver crept up the spine of Leonard Cowherd. The sidewalk was illuminated on either side by orange streetlights that stood out against the surrounding blackness. The sky above was moonless and the stars were shrouded by clouds. Only those eerie orange lanterns, illuminating the pathway like stage lights.
It was then that the thought sprung from the depths of Leonard’s mind. A simple thought, just a mental note made by his subconscious, but one that he would not be able to shake for the rest of the night. Any creature out there in that velvety blanket of darkness would be able to see them clearly. And if there was a creature lurking among the gravestones, it wasn’t one that you wanted to encounter. Lord, no.
“You want to go back soon, Blake? I’m getting pretty hungry.” Leonard said. His throat felt parched and cracked, like the surface of the desert. He wished he’d brought some water, but he hadn’t thought about it. It was his first time trying the stuff after all.
“I bet you are,” Blake laughed. “Don’t worry, we’ll hit the Mickey Dees when we leave. I already know what I’m gettin. Some nugs with sweet and sour sauce and french fries. Ooh, and a milkshake to dip the fries in. M’wah,” he pressed his fingers to his thumb and kissed them like a chef. “Where do you stand on the milkshake and fries combo?”
“I dunno,” Leonard shrugged, “I’ve never tried it.”
“You’ve never tried it?” Blake’s jaw dropped and he arched his eyebrows, creasing his forehead. “You haven’t lived until you’ve tried dipping fries in a milkshake. They go together like peanut butter and jelly or horror movies on Halloween.”
“Alright, alright, I’ll try it. Speaking of, we should’ve just stayed in and watched a scary movie tonight. I don’t know about you but I’m feeling pretty lazy.”
“But this is even better than a movie. We’re out here experiencing the real thing. It’s much more of a rush than sitting around staring at a screen. Besides, my mom’s home tonight. We couldn’t go there right now even if we wanted to. One look at us and she’d know. And if she were to catch us, then you’d discover true horror.” He shook his head and his black curly hair bounced around.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Leonard nodded. Blake made a good point. They were out here, collecting real experiences that they would remember forever. And wasn’t it the same endorphins that caused fear as the ones that caused excitement? You just have to focus on the right things, he told himself.
A pleasant breeze stirred the leaves of the trees. That and the chirping of the crickets were the only sounds to be heard. Peaceful sounds. He started to feel different, he started to feel… good. Really good. A smile formed on his lips.
“We are creatures of the night,” he said aloud without thinking about it. “There’s nothing to fear because we are the shadows in the dark. It’s everyone else who fears us.”
“Dangggg Lenny, that’s deep,” Blake grinned, making his cheeks look like they were stuffed with acorns.
They came across a set of stairs that led down into a rectangular courtyard. In the center of the courtyard was a bone-white mausoleum that emitted a soft glow from inside.
“Woah, that’s pretty cool. Let’s check it out,” Blake bounded down the stairs ahead of Lenny.
“Wait, that looks sketchy man. Can’t we go back now?” Lenny said. Alarms of dread went off in the back of his head. It was like when a police car turns on its sirens and the flashing red and blue lights evoke some kind of atavistic fear that makes you want to turn and run. Except there were no actual alarms, just the feeling that they should turn back before it’s too late. Almost like an instinct. He tried to brush it off as an aftereffect of their previous recreations.
“Don’t be a woos,” Blake said. “Live a little, would ya? It’s Halloween for Christ-sake.”
“Ughh fine,” Lenny huffed. “But I swear, if anything happens--”
“Relax, nothings gunna happen you pansy.”
The path leading up to the mausoleum was lined with river rocks inset with a stone walkway. As they approached, they could see that the glow came from three candles placed upon an oval table. There was a picture of an old woman on the table. They stepped inside.
“Creepy. Who do you think lit these?” Lenny said and his voice echoed against the walls of that tiny, claustrophobia-inducing room.
“I don’t know. Maybe someone else is… watching us.” Blake held up a candle under his chin so that the hollows of his face were shadowed. A prickling sensation made the hairs on the back of Lenny’s neck stand on end.
“Yeah, real funny.”
“I’m serious. It looks like it was arranged for a seance or something. My sister’s into that voodoo nonsense.”
From outside the mausoleum came the soft sound of rocks clacking against each other. As if someone or something had misplaced their steps on the walkway. Out of the corner of his eye, Lenny could’ve sworn he saw a trace of movement. His heart fluttered up to his throat.
“What was that?” he spun around, squinting his eyes up against the dark. Outside, the night was as still and as calm as the surface of a glassy lake.
“What?”
“A noise. I heard a noise.”
“So? Have you never heard a noise before?”
“But you don’t understand. It was the rocks. Like, like somebody kicked them or something.”
“Seriously man, you are being so freaking paranoid right now. I should’ve known you’d get this way.” Blake plopped the candle back down on the table and marched out of the mausoleum.
“Where are you going?” Lenny hurried behind him.
“Well you’re so sure you heard a noise, so let’s see.” Blake cupped his hands around his mouth and tilted his head up towards the sky.
“WHO’S THERE? IS ANYONE OUT THERE?” He called.
“Shutup, dude.”
“Why man? We are the only ones here. I’m just trying to prove a point. You’re being overly-dramatic. The most dangerous kind of fear is that which you create in your own mind.”
Blake trudged back up the steps of the mausoleum.
“I’m sorry,” Lenny said, catching up with Blake. “I didn’t mean to ruin all the fun. It’s just this isn’t really my scene, ya know? And plus I’m still feeling a bit anxious. I don’t think I reacted well to that stuff.”
“You reacted fine, you’re just not comfortable with your own thoughts. If you have any sort of insecurities, anxiety, or phobias, it will bring it right out of you. We can go now.”
Lenny let out a sigh of relief. They walked back down the sidewalk, but before they reached the cemetery gates, Blake stopped.
“Hang on a minute,” he said. “I need to take a leak.”
“Take a leak? Here?” Lenny said. “Dude, come on, that's gotta be like disrespectful or bad luck or something.”
“It’s a long walk to Mickey Dees and I really need to go. I’ll find a tree to go on. It’s not like I’m gunna piss on someone’s grave.” Blake veered from the path toward a big oak tree.
Lenny waited on the sidewalk. His palms were damp with sweat and he open and closed them repeatedly. He kept looking around, feeling some sort of presence near him. And then he heard the bushes rustle behind him. It was like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on him. Ice cold fear made his flesh break out in goosebumps.
He turned around, peering into the thick foliage. That was when he saw it. A face. But it wasn’t just any face. The eye sockets were soulless black holes with no eyes left in them. There were maggots crawling up into its nostrils and around the empty eye sockets. The skin was gray and dead-looking as burnt ash. He was looking into the face of a death mask.
One time, when Lenny was a kid, there was a rotten smell like old trash coming from the garage. He tracked it down to a corner, where a picnic basket was stored. He thought that somebody must have left some food in there that had gone moldy. He opened the picnic basket and reached his hand into it, blindly. Something sharp and cold pricked his finger. When he pulled his hand out, he was holding the skeleton of a dead rat. The smell that came then was so horrendous that he threw the rat down and ran outside to barf. That smell was the same smell that hit him now. The smell of decay, of rot, of death. The face receded back into the bushes and disappeared.
Lenny let out a blood curdling scream that made Blake, who was finishing up, pee on himself a bit.
“What, Lenny, what?” Blake said, buttoning up his pants.
“We’ve got to go. There’s something here.”
Lenny started sprinting out of the cemetery, not even checking to make sure that Blake was okay. He would never forget that face. Whenever he closed his eyes, that face would be there. Haunting him.

Back in the cemetery, Joe Redman sat down behind the bush and let out an auditory chuckle. He took off his mask, feeling quite pleased with himself. The maggots had been a good touch. Really freaked them out. Halloween was the best day of the year to be a cemetery security guard. There was always a group of teenagers who came wandering in, disturbing the peace. He was doing God’s work, in a way. A cemetery was a sacred place. And next time, maybe it wouldn’t be him hiding in the bushes. Maybe it would be someone with malicious intent. Next time, they would be ready.