Debates discussion

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Was this new?

Austin wrote: "Was this new?"

Yeah. It was made 13 minutes ago.

ok what is peoples opinions on the best way to find a significant other you wish to marry?

dunno. I'm just gonna date myself. XD

And yet there shall still be disappointment. Why, cruel world??

haha

ok should your parents decide who your marry? If not why not?

In my opinion, modern literature and media have over fantasized the romantic relationship. but we should focus more on the most important relationship, the relationship with God.

don't get me wrong tho, romantic relationship is an important part in Islam. Marriage is so important that it is said to be half of the religion.

I'll be deciding, but I'll definitely want their counsel and blessing

Austin wrote: "ok should your parents decide who your marry? If not why not?"

Parents should definitely not get to choose.

Isabelle wrote: "I'll be deciding, but I'll definitely want their council and blessing"

Yes, for sure.

Concinnous wrote: "Austin wrote: "ok should your parents decide who your marry? If not why not?"

Parents should definitely not get to choose."

Why do you think?

Isabelle wrote: "Concinnous wrote: "Austin wrote: "ok should your parents decide who your marry? If not why not?"

Parents should definitely not get to choose."

Why do you think?"

You know how parents are. "Mother know best" and all that jazz. They would choose someone they like and I don't.

KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "In my opinion, modern literature and media have over fantasized the romantic relationship. but we should focus more on the most important relationship, the relationship with God.

don't get me wro..."
did you see what I wrote on the religion topic?

Isabelle wrote: "I'll be deciding, but I'll definitely want their counsel and blessing"

Why should you decide?

Concinnous wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "Concinnous wrote: "Austin wrote: "ok should your parents decide who your marry? If not why not?"

Parents should definitely not get to choose."

Why do you think?"

You know how pa..."

How do you know they would choose wrong?

Austin wrote: "How do you know they would choose wrong?"

You don't know my parents. My mom wants grandkids and would marry me off as fast as she could.

And then there's me. I want to save up some money and finish college first.

Austin wrote: "ok what is peoples opinions on the best way to find a significant other you wish to marry?"

the best way to find a significant other is to pray. God is fully capable of providing a good spouse for us. we don't have to involve in a pre-marriage relationship. there is a prayer in the Quran-

˹They are˺ those who pray, “Our Lord! Bless us with ˹pious˺ spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.” (Quran- 25:74)

KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "Austin wrote: "ok what is peoples opinions on the best way to find a significant other you wish to marry?"

the best way to find a significant other is to pray. God is fully capable of providing a ..."

We should definitely pray, but I'd also rather know a guy before marrying him...

also our prophet Muhammad (PBUH) gave us a valuable guideline-

"The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers." (Bukhari-5091)

KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "also our prophet Muhammad (PBUH) gave us a valuable guideline-

"The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you ..."

So everything except personality?

Concinnous wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "also our prophet Muhammad (PBUH) gave us a valuable guideline-

"The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty an..."

I'm afraid I'm not getting what you're wanna say here...

KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "also our prophet Muhammad (PBUH) gave us a valuable guideline-

"The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you ..."

What if you marry the wrong woman? What if she is not pious? What if she does not want kids with you? Or is hard on the eyes?

Austin wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "I'll be deciding, but I'll definitely want their counsel and blessing"

Why should you decide?"

My mom gets nosy and offers a few "suggestions" because she finds certain guys cute and has straight up said she thinks we'd have cute children🤦. I appreciate the thought, but her idea of a nice guy is interesting. If it were up to my dad I wouldn't even talk to a guy until I'm 35 lol. I think I should be the one to find the person, then basically have him passed by my parents, especially my dad.

KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "I'm afraid I'm not getting what you're wanna say here..."

Muslim women are married for four things:
Her wealth
Her family status
Her beauty
Her religion

So a Muslim woman would be married for her worldly qualities and possessions, rather than her personality and quirks that make her special.

Austin wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "also our prophet Muhammad (PBUH) gave us a valuable guideline-

"The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty an..."

haha, brother being religious as a Muslim is far far different than being religious as a Christian. you are probably not getting it. that's why you're asking those questions.

Isabelle wrote: "Austin wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "I'll be deciding, but I'll definitely want their counsel and blessing"

Why should you decide?"

My mom gets nosy and offers a few "suggestions" because she finds ce..."

And that is why parents should not choose.😂

I really respect the reasons Muslims get married, seems less based on feelings

Concinnous wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "I'm afraid I'm not getting what you're wanna say here..."

Muslim women are married for four things:
Her wealth
Her family status
Her beauty
Her religion

So a Muslim woman w..."

you get the whole hadith wrong. would you please read it again?

the hadith encourage Muslims to marry on the basis of religion, not wealth, beauty, and status. so please read it again carefully

Concinnous wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "Austin wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "I'll be deciding, but I'll definitely want their counsel and blessing"

Why should you decide?"

My mom gets nosy and offers a few "suggestions" bec..."

I do understand why parents choose, though, and if that was how we operated I would put my trust in God and those two that they would find me a good man.

KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "you get the whole hadith wrong. would you please read it again?

the hadith encourage Muslims to marry on the basis of religion, not wealth, beauty, and status. so please read it again carefully."

You're right, I did.

And I get for religion, but you don't want to know her first?

KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "Austin wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "also our prophet Muhammad (PBUH) gave us a valuable guideline-

"The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status..."

Ok let me redefine the question, is it possible for you to marry the wrong woman? Or is every woman equally correct to you? If you did find yourself with a woman whom you could not be around, how would you correct it?

Concinnous wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "Austin wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "I'll be deciding, but I'll definitely want their counsel and blessing"

Why should you decide?"

My mom gets nosy and offers a few "suggestions" bec..."
To be clear I am on the side of you should choose your partner. But I am just asking probing questions.

Isabelle wrote: "Austin wrote: "Isabelle wrote: "I'll be deciding, but I'll definitely want their counsel and blessing"

Why should you decide?"

My mom gets nosy and offers a few "suggestions" because she finds ce..."

Fathers always have a hard time parting with their daughters.

Concinnous wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "you get the whole hadith wrong. would you please read it again?

the hadith encourage Muslims to marry on the basis of religion, not wealth, beauty, and status. so please rea..."

nope. I don't have to know her first if she has fear of Allah. cause I know, taqwa (God-consciousness) would make her an amazing wife.
probably it's not making sense to you. You have to understand Islam first to feel it. :)

Austin wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "Austin wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "also our prophet Muhammad (PBUH) gave us a valuable guideline-

"The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her we..."

obviously, every woman isn't equally correct for me. that's why lots of cross-checking are done before the marriage.

KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "nope. I don't have to know her first if she has fear of Allah. cause I know, taqwa (God-consciousness) would make her an amazing wife. probably it's not making sense to you. You have to understand Islam first to feel it. :)"

Maybe

KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "obviously, every woman isn't equally correct for me. that's why lots of cross-checking are done before the marriage."

What do you mean by that?

Ah, so y'all get like paired up by relatives and things? Seems pretty smart.

KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "Austin wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "Austin wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "also our prophet Muhammad (PBUH) gave us a valuable guideline-

"The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four thing..."

what if something slips through the cross checking or she keeps a secrets from everyone?

Concinnous wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "obviously, every woman isn't equally correct for me. that's why lots of cross-checking are done before the marriage."

What do you mean by that?"

so when my parents will decide to marry me off, they will start searching for a good religious girl. XD when they think they find a perfect girl, they will go into every detail of that girl. the marriage will happen if they are satisfied with the details (like how religious is she? her education. how is she with others? can she be a good caring wife and mother? etc.)

KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "Concinnous wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "obviously, every woman isn't equally correct for me. that's why lots of cross-checking..."

What do you mean by that?"

so when my parents will decide to marry me off"

When would you find out who she is? Would you be involved in the cross-checking?

Austin wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "Austin wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "Austin wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "also our prophet Muhammad (PBUH) gave us a valuable guideline-

"The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is..."

yeah, it's possible. that's why we pray to Allah for a good spouse. and Allah is All-Powerful. is He not capable of providing us a good spouse?

KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "yeah, it's possible. that's why we pray to Allah for a good spouse. and Allah is All-Powerful. is He not capable of providing us a good spouse?"

Can Muslims divorce in that case?

KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "Austin wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "Austin wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "Austin wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "also our prophet Muhammad (PBUH) gave us a valuable guideline-

"The Prophet (ﷺ) sa..."
Let us say that Allah wishes to test you and he purposely provides you with a bad spouse, what then?

I'm finding this pretty interesting. So, you said your parents will choose to find you a wife. Would you or your future wife be able to convey a preference as to when it happens?

Concinnous wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "Concinnous wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "obviously, every woman isn't equally correct for me. that's why lots of cross-checking..."

What do you mean by that?"

so when my p..."

yes, as far I know, cross-checking for marriage purposes is permissible. as a practicing Muslim, I always try not to talk to girls unnecessarily. But when my parents will select a girl for me, I will sit with her to talk. so yeah, I will also be involved in the selection process.

KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "yes, as far I know, cross-checking for marriage purposes is permissible. as a practicing Muslim, I always try not to talk to girls unnecessarily. But when"

So you have a choice in it? Would the girl get a say as well?

Concinnous wrote: "KM Abiduzzaman wrote: "yeah, it's possible. that's why we pray to Allah for a good spouse. and Allah is All-Powerful. is He not capable of providing us a good spouse?"

Can Muslims divorce in that ..."

yes, Muslims can divorce. but there are certain laws. like-

"Reasonable provisions must be made for divorced women—a duty on those mindful ˹of Allah˺." (Quran- 2: 241)