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Blurb Workshop > Blurb help - Sky's Edge, steampunk

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message 1: by Jessica (new)

Jessica | 7 comments This series is a spinoff of my previously published Tales From Undersea series but intended to be accessible for new readers. It is also aimed at a more adult audience, when the previous series was more YA.

It’s never easy to kill a man. Especially one you’re falling in love with.
Over York City, 1928. When police Detective Rory Sullivan is tasked with going undercover to the Sky’s Edge speakeasy, he takes the job willingly. He’s been out for revenge on the Hell’s Alley Gang, who run the illegal establishment, ever since they killed his father. But Rory doesn’t expect to meet the charming and beautiful drag queen, Lacey Liscious. He especially doesn’t expect her to actually be Colin Gilbert - the son of the Don and one of the mob’s most deadly hitmen. Right as Rory closes in to enact his revenge, the Don also tasks Colin with killing the detective.
But the more time Rory and Colin spend together as friends, the closer they become. And the more Rory sees of the mob, the more he realises they may not be the villains he believed. How can Rory and Colin kill each other when they’re also falling in love? And how can they keep their newfound relationship a secret?
Tales from the Skies is set in the same universe as the Tales From Undersea series, but can be read on its own.
This story has mature themes and content.


message 2: by M.L. (last edited Feb 26, 2022 09:14AM) (new)

M.L. | 1129 comments I like the blurb. My only suggestion is to separate the beginning. I think you could also leave out 'right,' and say: As Rory closes in to enact his revenge . . .

It's never easy to kill a man. Especially one you're falling in love with.

Over York City 1928.

When police Detective Rory Sullivan is tasked with going undercover to the Sky’s Edge speakeasy, he takes the job willingly. He’s been out for revenge on the Hell’s Alley Gang, who run the illegal establishment, ever since they killed his father. But Rory doesn’t expect to meet the charming and beautiful drag queen, Lacey Liscious. . .

Do you have a steampunk cover? I love steampunk covers. :)

I'd also suggest an actual paragraph space after 'relationship a secret?' and the next sentence. Good luck!


message 3: by Tony (new)

Tony Blenman | 104 comments I have a few questions about the blurb. The Detective, was he assigned to the case to have the leaders of the illegal establishment arrested and jailed, or to kill them because the gang had killed his father? Is he a killer, or a detective?
I think 'especially' and 'expect' are used too often.

"It's never easy to kill, more so, when it's someone you're falling in love with."


message 4: by Justin (new)

Justin (justinbienvenue) | 790 comments Is this steampunk because it's set in the same steampunk universe as your other series? Because this sounds like a crime thriller or noir. Steampunk Noir? I don't know if that's even a thing but this certainly sounds like it.


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