A Writer’s Dream discussion

Hey hey heyyyy! I’ll basically be posting a couple of my stories-in-progress here. Suggestions and advice is greatly appreciated!

Heya Kamrynnnnnnnnn

Stranded (Part One)
(Little bit of insight, Stranded is a story about a girl- Nadia- running away from home to live her dreams of being out on the sea. But what if her dreams aren’t as wonderful as they originally seemed? Sweet romance, a thrill of adventure, and all the pirates you could want in a piratecore-themed book)

The girl closed the door behind her softly. Quiet as a mouse, she crept out back and snuck up the side of the house. This was her chance! She could get away to the town- unnoticed. All she had to do was get out of view from her house and she was free!
“Nice try, Nadia,” an annoyed comment made her tense up. She looked over quickly- her mom was watching her. “Trying to sneak out again, are you?”
Nadia let out a sigh and walked back to her mom. “I wouldn’t have to sneak out if you took me to the town!”
“We go to the town all the time,” her mom said pointedly.
Nadia shook her head furiously. “Not on Thursdays and Fridays. Not on the days the sailors come to shore.”
“There’s a reason for that!” Her mom snapped in exasperation, “You’re young, Nadia.”
“Seventeen!” Nadia shot back, “I’m not twelve!”
Nadia’s mom took Nadia’s hands in her own. “You’re the perfect age for pirates to snatch you up, take you away, and do horrid things to you. I don’t want you getting hurt out there, darling.”
Nadia didn’t look her mom in the eyes. She was right. But it wasn’t like Nadia didn’t know how to defend herself! Even if she was self-taught, she believed she could hold her own pretty well.
“Come inside,” her mom let out a breath and turned, “Dinner’s ready.”
Nadia slumped and followed her mom inside. Her little brother, Benjamin, was already at the table, fiddling with his utensils. Looking at him, a memory came back to her.
It was months ago. Nadia was walking through town when she spotted a grand black pirate hat. All she thought of was how Benjamin would love it, and so she bought it immediately.
Benjamin had been so excited when she came home and placed it atop his head. He’d insisted on playing pirates and Nadia joined in on his antics to see him smile.
And then their mom got home. She’d seemed surprised, but mostly angry. Nadia admitted she bought it for him, and her mom proceeded to take it off his head and toss it in the fireplace. Nadia’s money- wasted. Her mom then lectured both of them on how pirates were bad people and they were never to associate with them.
“Nadia!” Benjamin chirped when he spotted her, snapping Nadia out of the flashback, “Where were you?”
“Attempting another escape,” Her mom said flatly, but Benjamin just grinned at that.
They ate their dinner in casual silence. Nadia was deep in thought. How many times had she tried to sneak out now? Today was Thursday, Friday would be her last chance this week. And maybe altogether. It was a surprise her mom didn’t lock her up in her room on these days.


“Are you gonna try again tomorrow?” Benjamin asked her in a hushed voice.
They were in Nadia’s room, sitting criss-crossed on her bed. Benjamin, despite being only five, knew about Nadia’s frequent escape attempts.
Nadia nodded. “I think I’m gonna leave super early in the morning.”
Benjamin pouted a little. “Are you sure I can’t come with you? What if you actually get on a ship?”
“If I succeed, you have to be here to keep mom company,” Nadia pointed out.
“I’m gonna miss you if you leave, though!” Benjamin hugged her close, and she gently ruffled his hair with a soft smile.
“If the chance comes by and I don’t come back, I’ll write you letters,” she said, “And I’ll draw pictures and find trinkets to send you.”
Benjamin looked up at her. “Promise?”
“Promise,” Nadia assured, “Now c'mon, you should be getting to bed.”
She led her little brother to his room. He climbed into his bed and she tucked him in.
“Can you sing a song?” He requested hopefully.
Nadia couldn’t say no to that face. So she settled on his bedside and sang the first song that came to her head- slower, softer than the original.

Look how the light of the town
The lights of the town are shining now
Tonight I'll be dancing around
I'm off on the road to Galway now
Look how she's off on the town
She's off on a search for sailors though
There's fine fellas here to be found
She's never been one to stay at home

Home you'll go and it's there you'll stay
And you've work to do in the morning
Give up your dream of going away
Forget your sailors in Galway

Come now and follow me down
Down to the lights of Galway where
There's fine sailors walking the town
And waiting to meet the ladies there
Watch now he'll soon be along
He's finer than any sailor so
Come on now pick up your spoons
He's waiting to hear you play them…
(Teir Abhaile Riu by Celtic Woman)

Nadia faded her voice out as Benjamin fell fast asleep. She gently kissed his forehead and got up. “Goodnight, Benjamin,” she whispered, and left his room, closing the door quietly behind her. She went back to her room and laid on her bed, though she knew she wasn’t going to get much sleep tonight. Tomorrow. It had to be tomorrow.

Stranded (Part 2)

Nadia awoke to her own mental alarm. She sat up abruptly and hurried to her window. The horizon faintly glowed with the light of the rising sun. Perfect.
Nadia quickly got dressed and grabbed her bag. Her mind checked off everything she should need, and so she closed it up and slung it over her shoulder.
Now was the more difficult part, but an idea suddenly popped into her mind. Her window. Why had she never thought to just climb out the window?
She opened it slowly, careful not to make any noise, and reached a foot through, letting it touch the grass. But then… she looked back.
Should I say goodbye to Benjamin? She wondered for several moments, then shook her head and forced herself to climb all the way out the window. I probably won’t even get near the ships. I just at least wanna see the sailors.
Nadia shut the window behind her and softly hurried out of the yard. She turned the corner and slowed her pace as she headed to town. Excitement suddenly sparked inside of her, quickly followed by nerves. What if her mom was right?
I can’t think like that, she thought with a determined stride, I’m finally going to hear what it’s like out at sea.
The sky was lightening rapidly by the time Nadia got to the town square. Her mom might not have even been awake yet, but people were already out and about. Her eyes darted to the seas. The dock was empty. Two ships were supposed to come by today to restock on supplies.
The shopkeepers were busy at work, making sure their stores were full so the ships could leave with plenty. Thinking about this made Nadia smile. Here, the people welcomed the sailors. Here, sailors weren’t some group of people you would use as a bad example.
Nadia settled on the fountain in the middle of the square and pulled out a book. The Chronicles of Narnia, “Voyage of the Dawn Treader.” Her favorite in the series. She opened it and began reading, waiting for the ships.
The town around her grew more awake as she read. Suddenly, shouts and cheers sounded from the dock. Looking up, Nadia saw a ship in the distance- no, two ships. They were here!
She closed her book eagerly and followed the growing crowd of people. They all clapped as the ships reached the docks and the sailors all climbed off. Nadia was about to attempt to get to the front of the crowd when a sharp, clear voice hit her ears.
“NADIA BROOKS, GET OVER HERE.”
Ohhhh Saints, Nadia thought with dread. Of course her mom was going to come after her. She looked back to see her mom glaring right at her as she marched over. Something ignited in Nadia- something rebellious. She wasn’t going to let her mom drag her back home. Not now. Without a moment’s hesitation, Nadia turned and ran.
She ducked around people and darted between carts carrying fruits and clothes and other goods. She ignored her mom’s furious yells and kept running, knowing full well if she slowed down she’d get caught. As soon as her mom’s voice was faint enough to know she’d lost sight of her, Nadia ducked into an alleyway and slumped against the wall, breathing hard. She kept her ears strained, but the sounds of her mom were gone. Still, she stayed put for what felt like an eternity.
Finally gaining the courage, she got up and slunk further into the alley, making her way to the other side. Moving quickly and paying more attention to what was behind her than right in front of her, she hit someone in front of her with full force.
She tumbled back, landing on the ground with a thump.
“Are you alright?”

Stranded (Part 3)

“Are you alright?” Nadia looked up to see who she’d run into as they asked that.
He looked young- still older than her though. But the most prominent thing about him was his clothing.
“Are you… are you a sailor?” Nadia impulsively blurted.
He laughed a little. “That’s the fancy word for it. We just say ‘pirate.’ Now, upsy daisy.” He took her hands and pulled her to her feet.
“My mom always used ‘pirate’ as a negative term,” She blinked.
He tilted his head at her. “Are you from further inland?” Nadia nodded, and understanding crossed his face, “Yeah, people from the inland aren’t always fond of the ruffians coming to their shores every week.” He winked at her, then asked “What’s someone like you doing in an alley like this?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” Nadia answered, suddenly wary. They were alone here.
He shrugged. “I let my crew mates go and socialize with the townspeople, but I prefer not being stuck in the crowds.”
Seeing him look at her almost expectantly, Nadia decisively told him the truth. “My mom never let me come to the town on the days the ships came to shore. Told me I’d get in trouble. So I snuck out. She’s probably somewhere in the town right now, looking for me, so I’m hiding.”
The pirate barked a laugh. “That sounds like quite the story. Say, would you like to have a drink with me? I know a place.”
Nadia paused. “I don’t drink.”
“They serve non-alcoholic stuff too,” He assured her.
Nadia finally agreed, and let him lead the way.
“What did you say your name was?” He asked as he walked.
“Nadia,” she told him, “What’s yours?”
“Damon,” he threw over his shoulder, “Hey, we’re here.”
He opened the door and let Nadia in. It wasn’t loud like the other bars she could hear from the outside. Few people were scattered around the tables, all chatting and enjoying the morning.
“Pick a spot,” he offered, “I’ll get us something to drink.”
Nadia found a corner no one was occupying and sat down. Damon came back a moment later, drinks in hand.
Nadia examined her cup. “What’s in it?”
“Soda,” he answered, “Don’t worry, if you don’t drink I would not wanna be there when you try alcohol and start throwing up.”
She laughed a little and took a sip. He wasn’t lying.
“So, Nadia, what’s this whole story about running away from home?” He casually inquired.
“It’s just… I’ve always felt a pull towards the ocean,” Nadia began, “Just thinking about being aboard a huge ship and sailing the seas, exploring, and never being alone doing so.. it sounds like a dream. When I was little, I found out about the pirates that came to shore before going off to explore somewhere new. I wouldn’t stop telling my mom about how I wanted to go off with the pirates, but she always told me how they were dangerous and I should never meet one.”
“You’d rather go off to sea than stay with your loved ones?” Damon asked.
Nadia took a sip of her drink, delaying a response for a few moments. Finally she said, “It just gets so boring here. It’s all the same. I’d rather live knowing every day was going to be different. And there’d be excitement and danger waiting to welcome me.”
Damon smiled and added, “The saltiness of the sea never gets old, either. It’s always so refreshing.”
“I’ve wanted to experience that my whole life,” she let out a dreamy sigh, “I’ll find a way. Someday.”
Damon fell silent, suddenly seeming very interested in the drink in his hand. He was like this for maybe a full minute, when he quietly said, “What if that someday was today?”