Reading Peace discussion

After a LONG delay, I've finally completed the Reader's Guide to Sister D's heartfelt memoir, "Healing"! I apologize again for the delay.

The complete guide can be downloaded as PDF on our blog at:

http://www.parallax.org/blog/complete...

Thanks to everyone for your patience and your love for this book.

Reflections for Ch. 6-8

1) On a piece of paper, write down one thing you’d like to change about yourself. Draw a smiley face next to what you wrote down. Fold it and put it into your pocket, purse, or wallet.

Look at this note each time you feel overwhelmed or discouraged.

Setting down your intention and smiling at your suffering is already transforming you into your best self.

2) Try practicing the first step of Beginning Anew with somebody you’ve had a conflict: flower watering (showing appreciation for the other person). It can be a co-worker, parent, partner, or friend. Generally it’s best to take turns, alternating between parties.

Showing appreciation for someone else (and not just flattering them) waters positive seeds in yourself and others.

Food for Thought

“Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” p.66

“One does not need to be an old guru, a wise person, or a corpse in order to taste liberation.” p. 67

“‘This is, because that is. This is not, because that is not,’ the Buddha taught. All the conditions have come together in such a way that we are where we are, and we are what we are. To hold on to feelings of regret is to lose the present moment.” p. 69

“As I begin to look at my mind with more awareness and compassion, I realize how much of my suffering was unnecessary. I thought I suffered more than others. I thought nobody could understand me. I expected my loved ones to be with and that, and I was disappointed… My thoughts, actions, and speech were sometimes unkind, which further watered the seeds of loneliness, jealousy, and anger in me. I had never thought of myself in these terms, but I realized I am not above any of these things.” p.71

“Each day I take stable steps for [my partner]. I take stable steps for my brother, for my friends, and for the incarcerated youth. I walk with the awareness that my loved ones step with me into stability and freedom.” p. 82

“When we transform, we stop that cycle of abuse. We stop that cycle of violence. We stop that cycle of suffering. We transform for our mothers and for the generations before them and after them.” p. 83


Reflections for Ch. 9-12

1) Throughout the book, Sister D shares many of the letters she wrote to various people throughout her life: to Thich Nhat Hanh, incarcerated youths, her friends and loved ones, her troubled younger brother, etc.

Write a letter to somebody you care about, either via e-mail or the ancient technology of pen and paper. The letter doesn’t require set reason for writing; write from the heart.

If you’d like, please share your letters on our book club’s discussion boards.


2) Sister D ends the book on a hopeful note. She writes, “My inner eyes tell me that I no longer need to hide myself in shame or to show myself in pride. I have never been alone. My face is the face of my sisters, of my partners, of my mother, of my grandmother, of leaves, of mountains, of memories, and of awakened moments.”

Please try to surround yourself with a sangha — a supportive community of like-minded individuals. The book club is one way to do this, but continue to cultivate a sangha around you, wherever you are.

It can be a sangha of two, or of hundreds. Check out this directory of various sanghas that meet throughout the world. (http://www.iamhome.org)

You are never alone.

Food for Thought

Two years ago, when Devin and his mother first came to Deer Park, he was incapable of sitting or standing still. In the meditation hall, he constantly shifted his body and ran in and out. When the Sangha did walking meditation, he could only hold his mother’s hand or a monk’s hand for a few seconds, then he would run past the leader of the group, turn around and run back to the end, and run to the front of the group again. Devin also often had problems with other children.
During that period, his mother and father were having many difficulties and they were about to get a divorce. Devin’s mother told me that once she had a serious fight with her husband, and afterwards she lay on her bed, face down and sobbing. Devin came into her room and tried to console her, but she could not look up. He left her room, and when he returned, he’d brought a small bell. He invited the bell and said, “Breathe, Mommy. Please breathe!”
She was so surprised that she sat up and burst out crying. “He’s so young, and here he is, trying to take care of me!” she told me. Many times when she seemed tense or lost, Devin reminded her, “Mommy, calm down. Breathe!”
— p.g. 127

“My inner eyes tell me that I no longer need to hide myself in shame or to show myself in pride. I have never been alone. My face is the face of my sisters, of my partners, of my mother, of my grandmother, of leaves, of mountains, of memories, and of awakened moments.” p.g. 141.

Welcome back, Jason. The reader's guide is just beautiful - I appreciate your work so much!