Support for Indie Authors discussion

I’ve noticed that in the book I’m currently writing that I tend to find it difficult to write about the journey the protagonist takes between two places, especially if that travel is uneventful.

I don’t know whether I should omit it altogether or try fill it. I think it would be weird to write:

The hero set off for the city.

At the city, the hero did x.


My biggest issue seems to be around traversing through towns themselves.

In Tutarium: The Rise of Demons, I’ve had Vivrel enter the town of Grindel, speak to a passing elf about where he could find a room. She tells him some directions, then he sets off again.

Filling the space between that conversation and reaching the inn feels difficult.

I’d appreciate any ideas or suggestions!

Everyone does this stuff differently but for me personally, I tend to operate on the theory that if it is boring for you to write, it will be boring to read.

Unless the story is advanced in some way by detailing the journey, or you can use it to build atmosphere, or slip in a little sly world building disguised as description, then I would just cut it out. I do not think the reader needs to know the protagonists every move. It can get pretty dull.☺

He can just arrive, with may be a couple of short sentences like, XXX (fill in protagonist 's name) was surprised to find the inn so quickly in the busy, winding streets. In truth the low, thick walled building was hard to miss, the plastered walls being roughly daubed in paint the colour of dried blood. ( you know, or whatever it looks like and whatever your style is).

If you wanted to be slightly more elaborate, he "watched the elf slip away into the throng of a busy market day, moving through them gracefully like a fish between reeds. His own progress was slower in the unfamiliar byways. Nevertheless, XXXX was surprised etc,etc,yes

Only I'm a serial overwriter... So you will probably want to be a lot more direct than that... ☺☺

I have no idea your writing style, etc. so this is just a suggestion:

Vivrel leaned down to speak into her pointy ear, close enough that her ear hair tickled the tip of his nose. "Pray tell, my dear elf. Where might a weary traveler find a room in this fair village of Grindel?"

The elf set aside the doll she'd been making and tapped her chin. "Why, if I were a traveler such as yourself, I'd take a room at the Cuddle & Snuggle Inn. It's quite charming, they say. Now, excuse me. Santa is waiting for me anon. Forsooth. And stuff like that."

The pillows were fluffy and pink. The comforters, all eighteen of them, were stuffed with the feathers of the finest geese in all of Grindel. Images of kittens and puppies were stitched into them. Hearts and flowers were carved into the headboard of the bed. Even the chamber pot sparkled and glinted, a bright cheery red. The Cuddle & Snuggle Inn was as charming as its name implied. Vivrel lifted the chamber pot and puked into it.

So, yeah, you don't have to give details about how the character gets to the inn if nothing happens along the way that would be of benefit to the story or the reader. If he's just skipping merrily down the path to the inn and not doing anything interesting, skip it.

Have you read any books that had long boring details about how a character gets from one place to another? Probably not. If you have, don't do what that author did.

I have the exact same problem in a totally different genre. My spaceships are fast, but the distances between stars are so immense that it can take days or even weeks to get from A to B.

If I can make something happen in the middle, like a conversation about their progress, or a message relevant to their mission received from HQ, that helps. Otherwise, as Robin suggested, they just arrive and get to work.

Filling in travel time where nothing happens? You don’t, because it’s irrelevant. As Alfred Hitchcock put it, ““Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.” Every line in your story should move the plot, develop character, or, meaningfully set the scene. Those that don’t do one of those serve only to slow the narrative.

Remember, we’re presenting a story, not creating a chronicle of events. So time is a variable. Boring stretches are compressed, while the exciting parts are slowed so that every exciting detail is experienced.

And the key word is “experienced,” not talked about, so while the narrator’s place, normally, is in the prompter’s booth working in support of the protagonist, during transitions, they’re front and center, and alone on stage, with something like:

The journey to Sellersville was boring, but the hours away from Carlos helped Gail ready herself for the coming confrontation.

Any good book on fiction writing technique should bring you up to speed on such things.

Travel is where you need to watch that you aren't walking the dog--inother words, writing things that don't need to be there. If something happens, or a revelation, or some relevant place is passed through, then put it in, otherwise a summary sentence or a skip in the time it would take to get there.

Use whatever technique you want so that the reader doesn't lose interest. One author gave two paragraphs of description of this wonderful sunset as the person traveled west in their car, interspersed with backstory and inner dialogue, As a reader, I didn't even notice since what they wrote held my attention. It wasn't until I was analyzing the story I actually notices what they'd done.

Experiment and have fun finding what works for your story.

My answer to interstellar travel, even using extreme time dilation through relativity, is to let my characters sleep though it. It also saves the problem of describing what the characters see with the restricted light cone, which would probably have enough errors to attract criticism from the odd reader who knows his relativity.

If you can add something to the character or story arc, go ahead. Be careful of info dumps. Otherwise ignore it.

I use the ol' good
***
if there's nothing to tell.

Tomas wrote: "I use the ol' good
***
if there's nothing to tell."

Same for me.

Yes, *** very useful. ☺

Yep, I often make use of * * * as well - so handy in these situations :)

A chapter break can work as well, no idea why I haven't thought about that before. Of course, that's only when the situation is good to use one (in line with how you use chapters, to keep things consistent).

Depending on the genre, I sometimes use a scene break. (Yes, I'm influenced by TV and movies.)