Warriors Lovers! discussion

Please read this story I'm doing for this thing our School does called Reflections!I'm trying to actually get a good rating from the judges!

The Little Mouse and the Big Cheese
Once upon a time, there lived a mouse named ChouChou. The school he went to was so much fun. Well... in his mind it is. No one else in his school likes it. He wondered why and how he was so different. One day, ChouChou wondered what would happen if he were a super hero... The next day, ChouChou got up and remembered something. He grabbed a cape he made, and showed it to his mom. She was surprised with how good it looked. Later on in that month, an evil, crazy, creepy cat trapped his teacher, Ms.CheeseBlock, in a cage. She couldn't get out of it. It's time for him to save someone! He put on his costume, cape, and belt. He went out to where she was stuck. He tricked that cat into confusion, and the cat fainted. ChouChou pulled the lever that unleased the cage to his teacher's trap. She was so greatful to him for saving her life. To reward him, she gave him a huge cheeseblock. He wasn't sure if he could eat the whole thing! He decided to eat some of it for a snack. He took one bite out of it, and got a stomach ache. His mom came over. She said, "You don't have to finish everything if you don't want to."ChouChou looked up. "Thanks, Mom," ChouChou greatfully said. "It's nothing compared to what you did today.You saved your teacher.It's nice to save other people."His mother smiled.

THE END

I was once a kitty cat. But know I am a mouse. I love to eat cheese and not fish anymore.I used to like chasing fuzz balls. Now I like to be chased by cats. Cats I are I think are rotten now. I love being a mouse. I dont know how I turned into a mouse though. I think it had something to do with the bad vole I had before I ate the change. Oh how it surprised me. I woke up as a mouse. I walked over to the water and saw my reflection. I jumped "Oh my" I said. Now I am stuck like this forever. Even thiough I love being a mouse I have to find the path to be cat again. And fish my to find my mother. I started before and I must finish it now. I Have to find the vole I was eating. Before it is too late. I am off to find the vole. Good bye. I hope we meat again.

Tell me what you think

Both are okay. They have some grammical errors, but other than that, GOOD!

Have you guys rated my poem? There's a link.

....i like them both.

cool