✧˚ · .The Crystal Café✧˚ · . discussion

If you need to talk, feel free to here <3

nothing wrote: "Just what I needed but I'm gonna keep it inside."

You can talk if you need to <3

⊹₊˚ Leo˚₊⊹ wrote: "My family is always forcing me into things I don't want to do. for example:
Shooting team
Debate team
accelerated math
accelerated ela/english
Extreme pressure on grades
Etc.

I really just hate it..."

Jesus shit, man, that sucks. I'm sorry to hear that.

Alright, so im constantly sobbing in my classes due to my father just stressing me out, I'm trans and my parents accept me and my grandpa.....well he really doesnt like trans people and adding onto that my mamaw is very transphobic and i don't know what to do anymore

lyric vent: Never Good Enough- Citizen Soldier

Here I am, once again
Way too close to the edge
Terrified, open eyes
I'm seeing red
I would rather die tonight
Then let you down one more time
(One more time)
Sick of coming undone
Letting down everyone
Mediocre at best
Maybe better off dead
Am I a failure from birth?
Is misery what I deserve?
Am I just so void of love?
That I'm never good, never good enough
Demonize, criticize
Your words eat me alive
Just like knives
Tearing me from the inside
What you want I'll never be
Why can't you be proud of me?
(Proud of me)
Sick of coming undone
Letting down everyone
Mediocre at best
Maybe better off dead
Am I a failure from birth?
Is misery what I deserve?
Am I just so void of love?
That I'm never good, never good enough
I hate to disappoint you
But it's in my DNA
Everything you give me
I somehow will disgrace
I never asked to be like this
A grave mistake you can't forgive
A filthy stain, oh, what a shame
Can you just wash me away?
Sick of coming undone
Letting down everyone
Mediocre at best
Maybe better off dead
Am I a failure from birth?
Is misery what I deserve?
Am I just so void of love?
That I'm never good, never good enough

TW: There is no trigger warning :D

(view spoiler)[So, my dad decided to go strand himself across the country... again. He says its in the name of "Getting the family money" But it's not worth it if we have to spend any money earned on getting him home, which, by the way, he still doesn't have a return ticket. Bro went to fucking CANADA without a way home. Now, he has no hotel, no flight, and is just vibing in DC. THIS IS THE THIRD TIME HES DONE THIS. He knows we cant afford it, and I'm getting worried. Part of my brain is convinced some miracle is going to happen again and he'll get home in a day, but realistically, that's not happening. We cant ask any more family for money, and we haven't gotten a real paycheck in over a year. I'm scared y'all (hide spoiler)]

Hey I just wanted to say that I haven't been mentally well enough to properly give you guys comfort or advice but I hope everyone who has vented in here feels better <3

I am:
Closeted Trans
Closeted Demisexual
Closeted Demiromantic
Trigger warning ((view spoiler)[Suicide Survivor (hide spoiler)])
Bipolar
Split personality
ADHD
Autistic
Insomniac
And Dysmorphia

⊹₊˚ Leo˚₊⊹ wrote: "Kipp ~ semi hiatus ~ ＦＲＥＥ ＰＡＬＥＳＴＩＮＥ ~ wrote: "TW: There is no trigger warning :D

[spoilers removed]"

maybe you could try to get a babysitting job to help support your family, but only put the $ i..."

Thats the big thing, my parents refuse to let me get a job or help in the company, then get mad at me when I ask if I can get a new pair of pants or smth bc mine don't fit anymore. I also just feel bad bc I've been having health issues and its been really expensive and I cant help but feel responsible.

Briar wrote: "Hey I just wanted to say that I haven't been mentally well enough to properly give you guys comfort or advice but I hope everyone who has vented in here feels better <3"

Dw dude! This place doesn't give you an obligation to help everyone! You do whatever you can to help yourself!!

⊹₊˚ Leo˚₊⊹ wrote: "Kipp ~ semi hiatus ~ ＦＲＥＥ ＰＡＬＥＳＴＩＮＥ ~ wrote: "⊹₊˚ Leo˚₊⊹ wrote: "Kipp ~ semi hiatus ~ ＦＲＥＥ ＰＡＬＥＳＴＩＮＥ ~ wrote: "TW: There is no trigger warning :D

[spoilers removed]"

maybe you could try to get a ..."

...not intentionally if that makes sense?? They're just...really unaware when I t comes to physical touch and emotional turmoil. Its more neglect and unawareness than @buse, but they can also be really overbearing so idk...

Its alright. We were actually able to get my dad home, which is good, but he's leaving again on Friday.

I don’t mean to intrude on the conversation, but I get it abt ur parents. Mine are the same way, and I know I just joined the group but me and (I’m sure) everyone here would always be willing to listen if you want to rant about it 🩵

⊹₊˚ Leo˚₊⊹ wrote: "good he came home! sorry hes leaving again :( how often do you see him?"

He's usually home, but has travelled a lot recently. We're pretty close, but a little rift came between us after he made me come out.

Here's a song I wrote, kinda random lol

I get lost inside my mind
Fears are conjured
They're not real, but they're mine.

If you can't find me,
I've gotten lost inside my mind
And I can't find
My way out

Just my way of expressing some feelings, I'll do a longer rant tomorrow

CrazyChickenGirl (aka Barnette) wrote: "Here's a song I wrote, kinda random lol

I get lost inside my mind
Fears are conjured
They're not real, but they're mine.

If you can't find me,
I've gotten lost inside my mind
And I can't find
My ..."

that's really cool

Ella✨(booktrovert) wrote: "CrazyChickenGirl (aka Barnette) wrote: "Here's a song I wrote, kinda random lol

I get lost inside my mind
Fears are conjured
They're not real, but they're mine.

If you can't find me,
I've gotten ..."

Thx

My ex is starting shit for the third time now, And even worse is that my girlfriend is friends with my ex now. My ex did shit to me and hurt me, Fucked up my head and all, and my girlfriend just doesnt seem to care.. Im literally listening to this 852Hz Frequency 24/7 to stop my overthinking and i just dont know what to fucking do.. I just feel lost..

Hey y'all I may be going back to the mental hospital in like 2 days my mental Heath is way worse then I thought it was ugh and I have to study for this huge exam for my med school and I just feel like I'm done my little brothers (5) being a ass to our oldest cousin and I just wanna lock myself in my room and eat a tub of Ice cream and cry

are you okay??? if you need anything please tell me. you're an amazing person (actually, i'm not just making some stuff up to sound cool) and i'll always be there for you ❤️ i understand what it feels like, really

Feel free to pm me Sai:) if anything and Thx Sai:) I might actually be getting signed into the ward in the morning tomorrow I didn't even sleep and I have exams upon exams and tests today for med school and its 5:30am rn ugh I hate myself and my life

that sounds so stressful. I'm sorry you feel awful. feel free to talk to me about anything! and you are genuinely a lovely person. <3

Haha.... hah... I hate myself


Recently I started having major anxiety attacks and they’ve caused me to… lets say… retreat. I’ve been locking myself in my room for hours on end and only recently was my cousin able to coax me out of there… I’ve also been getting my LOVELY Psychosis coming on worse each episode, today was one of the worst ones yet. I also… hurt my boyfriend Atsu… kinda… I was being clingy and didn’t realize why until I almost disappeared on him because something was watching me through the windows… and now I feel bad because I never got to tell him goodnight… and… I might’ve bit my lip to the point I bled, and then started clawing at my face / biting my fingers.

PoeTheWriter {Ticci Toby [Toby Rogers]} wrote: "Haha.... hah... I hate myself


Recently I started having major anxiety attacks and they’ve caused me to… lets say… retreat. I’ve been locking myself in my room for hours on end and only recently w..."

Dad....i would explain to Poppa that you didnt mean to hurt him....and i think you should maybe go to the doctor for that.....since its getting worse.....(dont take my advice if u dont wanna)

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵௱Λ尺ら ϤΛƓɪ-ㄈнΛØら︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵ wrote: "PoeTheWriter {Ticci Toby [Toby Rogers]} wrote: "Haha.... hah... I hate myself


Recently I started having major anxiety attacks and they’ve caused me to… lets say… retreat. I’ve been locking myself..."

We have an appointment scheduled for it soon lil owl, I'll survive until then

PoeTheWriter {Ticci Toby [Toby Rogers]} wrote: "︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵௱Λ尺ら ϤΛƓɪ-ㄈнΛØら︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵ wrote: "PoeTheWriter {Ticci Toby [Toby Rogers]} wrote: "Haha.... hah... I hate myself


Recently I started having major anxiety attacks and they’ve caused me t..."

-hugs- if you say so.....

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵௱Λ尺ら ϤΛƓɪ-ㄈнΛØら︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵ wrote: "PoeTheWriter {Ticci Toby [Toby Rogers]} wrote: "︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵௱Λ尺ら ϤΛƓɪ-ㄈнΛØら︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵ wrote: "PoeTheWriter {Ticci Toby [Toby Rogers]} wrote: "Haha.... hah... I hate myself


Recently I started havi..."

mhm...

*hug*

PoeTheWriter {Ticci Toby [Toby Rogers]} wrote: "︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵௱Λ尺ら ϤΛƓɪ-ㄈнΛØら︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵ wrote: "PoeTheWriter {Ticci Toby [Toby Rogers]} wrote: "︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵௱Λ尺ら ϤΛƓɪ-ㄈнΛØら︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵ wrote: "PoeTheWriter {Ticci Toby [Toby Rogers]} wrote: "Haha.... ..."

I hope the docs appointment helps....

I am pissed off at myself :D.


I cleared out space for the new update on my drawing app ya?

I accidentally deleted the art requests folder instead of my auto-record folder....


all of the art requests got deleted. Now I have to start the WIPs all over again, and they have to wait longer for their fucking drawings...

i have accidentally done very similar things before 😭

And now my doctor might be getting me approved for anti-psychotics....


(AKA basically anti-schizophrenia pills)

I’m literally so tired because my life has been getting worse since last year December when I got into an accident and broke my nose. Then in march I lost my boy cat and seriously he was the only thing in the world that cheered me up. Idk why but I’m self isolating from my irl friends and I am an only child and I don’t have any hobbies that I’m perfect at so I was alone this whole summer in my house while others were travelling the world. The worst part is that I’m the worst daughter and the worst friend

★ Livlyy ★ wrote: "I’m literally so tired because my life has been getting worse since last year December when I got into an accident and broke my nose. Then in march I lost my boy cat and seriously he was the only t..."

If you need somebody to talk to my DMs are always open to that kind of stuff, don't be afraid to approach somebody about it.

(view spoiler)[
I AM SO FUCKING DONE--

I work for over 4 hours on an art piece like my semi-realistic Jay piece I posted in my main blog (On Tumblr), and it flops, and yet there are people on there that get hundreds of likes for their art, which sometimes looks a lot similar to mine! Especially the artists that are still learning but have been in the fandom for months or years.

I've been in the MH and Creepypasta fandoms for 6 years now, I've only recently started posting my art for it though, and honestly, I feel like the fandoms are just becoming toxic towards newer artists in them. It's not healthy for the fandoms because once all the artists that are good and have been in them for ages will eventually leave, and you won't welcome new artists, and honestly.

Personally, when I have an art piece that flops (Literally all of my art..) I feel like shit because my anxiety screams that they hate it and therefore they hate me. and sometimes it gets so bad that I feel like quitting art.

I'M STILL LEARNING! LIKE GUYS GIVE A NEW ARTIST SOME SUPPORT---

I started out as a writer, only turned to art because my writing flopped.

What the hell am I supposed to turn to when I feel like everybody wishes I wasn't an artist!? (hide spoiler)]

just an rant about my school :D

(view spoiler)[
I love how they r offering a BOYS badminton team and not a GIRLS like I think its only fair to have BOTH gender teams.... and i've been sitting here rotting waiting for the new of a girls team.....
I also love how our school doesn't have much girl sports teams....
like all the clubs girls can apply is like jewelry, music, and other girly stuff
understand that some of us girls wanna play sports too... :( (hide spoiler)]

Ick- they are being like- nah- your school sucks

♯┆Rio .ᐟ ★ wrote: "just an rant about my school :D


I love how they r offering a BOYS badminton team and not a GIRLS like I think its only fair to have BOTH gender teams.... and i've been sitting here rotting waitin..."

bro they need to change that like now
i might be biased bc i freaking love badminton but that's not okay...you should crash a board meeting or smth lol

PoeTheWriter wrote: "
I AM SO FUCKING DONE--

I work for over 4 hours on an art piece like my semi-realistic Jay piece I posted in my main blog (On Tumblr), and it flops, and yet there are people on there that get hund..."

that's messed up, i always HATE it when people aren't welcoming to newcomers!!! don't feel like people hate you bc your art flops tho, your art is actually incredibly good and don't let those idiots make you feel like shit (cuz you're not).

TW: pressuring, stress, panic attacks, rainbow bridge
*please don't read if you rlly cant stand these topics... for your own health and safety <3*

(view spoiler)[
how does one understand idk... like I said idk to the 'P' people [were gonna call em that] like 50 times and they just don't get I. like listen I'm human you are too. I get that you wanna find 'D' and like 'D' is related to me but IDK WHERE 'D' IS!! I have a TERRIBLE relationship with 'D' and I SRSLY don't know! stop pressuring me to answer the same questions over and over again. 'P' people has been coming to my home for the past 2 weeks, like idk where 'd' is leave me alone do you not know what idk means?! I've been stressed since I called a certain 3 numbers on 'd' and I really really don't know where 'd' is and I'm just... stressed, pressured and suffering through panic attacks everytime I update my relatives about whats going on. their all on 'd' side so like I get blame for everything literally. like just let me speak and like share my thoughts... understand its not my fault that it happend I didn't want to call the 3 number on 'd' but 'd' forced me to !! I've been hanging in long enough and I just cant handle it anymore... just let me live and have peace... I'm only a teen man, I feel like I'm going though more then what regular teens go through... I did NOTHING just spare me this one time I'm so done with life... istg if they keep being on 'd' side and not even think about what I am going through I'm gonna cross the damn rainbow bridge myself... (hide spoiler)]

♯┆Rio .ᐟ ★ (hiatus) wrote: "TW: pressuring, stress, panic attacks, rainbow bridge
*please don't read if you rlly cant stand these topics... for your own health and safety <3*


how does one understand idk... like I said idk ..."

im here for you, always. Im so random help- but im here for you, i get it..

Ahahaha
I need to rant and have someone who can be a big brain to help me out qwq

♯┆Rio .ᐟ ★ (semi-hiatus) wrote: "Ahahaha
I need to rant and have someone who can be a big brain to help me out qwq"

MEEEE

☆ Nozomi☆(ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴍʏ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ :3)(Existing Ver) wrote: "♯┆Rio .ᐟ ★ (semi-hiatus) wrote: "Ahahaha
I need to rant and have someone who can be a big brain to help me out qwq"

MEEEE"
hiueqfopkiu8adfuenfuiqwnafjda
can I PM?