Queereaders discussion

December 8th is Pansexual and Panromantic Visibility Day

I'm pan, I love being pan and I know there are other pans here. Hope my fellow pans have a great day!

But because I encounter so much confusion and ignorance about what being pan means, I'm going to talk a bit about being pan here:

We pans are our own orientation and identity and not a variation of bisexuality (whether the bi person defines their bi-ness as being "attracted to both genders" or "attracted to my own gender or other genders." or even "attracted to all genders"). This is why we have our day of visibility and also our own day of awareness (May 24). Unfortunately our current communal language is rather limited and biased toward the identities specifically represented in "LGBT" which make people knowingly or unknowingly try to shove all queer identities under those letters, which imo is bad and hierarchical, as it gives more visibility and thus more validity to the identities specifically included in LGBT as opposed to other identities that are assumed under those four "umbrella" (I hope people see how patronizing and problematic that is). Other more inclusive, less hierarchical language like "multisexuality" and GSRM (Gender, Sexual and Romantic Minorities) have not been widely accepted, perhaps for good reason. I hope as a community we continue to evolve in this regard as more expansive, informed and inclusive language is badly needed for pan and other less represented identities.

Being pan means gender isn't a defining or major factor, if at all in your sexual and/or romantic attractions. As a pan person with some life experience, I will further add I do not want gender to be a defining dynamic in my sexual and romantic relationships. Some other pans are more comfortable with letting their relationships conform to social norms around gender roles--I and other pans are not.

You will likely see a number of pans who also identity as being on the ace/aro spectrum and/or as trans or nonbinary, myself included. Because a lot of surveys done in the queer community have not included pans or have not recognized us as distinct from bisexuals, we lack the data to say how many. But these intersections of identities reveal how much many of us pans are at odds with cishetnormativity with its expectations of gendered sexual and romantic behavior.

A common and quite insulting misconception about pans is that we're "down for anything." First of all, pan is a normal, valid human sexual and romantic orientation, so it excludes behaviors like pedophilia and beastiality, just like hetero, gay and bi identities do. That pedos and other creeps try to pass themselves off as pan to normalize their harmful behavior hurts us pans as a community and we reject it.

Pan also mean just because we're pans doesn't mean we're attracted to just anyone and will have sex will anyone. This is creepy and gross to assume of us and is too often used to excuse predatory behavior in our community. Don't do it. We pans absolutely have preferences (just not ones defined by gender) and the agency and right to chose our own intimate partners. Everyone needs to respect that of us as they would anyone else.

Since many non-pans do not really understand us or even try to, we are very underrepresented in media and also in the identification of queer historical figures. A lot of times people assume that making a character bi "covers" pan as well without learning what makes us different, or a creator will make a character pan out of laziness rather than really understanding the pan experience. I hope in the future this will improve.

CJ wrote: "December 8th is Pansexual and Panromantic Visibility Day

I'm pan, I love being pan and I know there are other pans here. Hope my fellow pans have a great day!

But because I encounter so much conf..."

Happy pan visibility day to you too! I think I really agree with what you stated earlier, people do need to stop assuming everything falls within "LGBT" and be less ignorant of other genders and sexualities. I myself do not know what my sexuality is, either bi or pan, but I would like to add that to me at least, it doesn't make much of a difference what you categorize yourself as, because that won't change who you are.

And to everybody else, I really hope y'all take the time to read CJ's message, because they really have some important things to say.

🩷💛🩵

Happy Pan day to everyone in the pansexual/panromantic communities! You are valid and loved!!