Trauma & Dissociation discussion

Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy by Francine Shapiro (2012)


Publisher’s Summary
A totally accessible user’s guide from the creator of a scientifically proven form of psychotherapy
for healing ailments ranging from PTSD to minor anxiety and depression

Whether we’ve experienced small setbacks or major traumas, we are all influenced by memories and
experiences we may not remember or don’t fully understand. When we are stuck, talk therapy often fails to produce the needed connections between the old emotional memory and a more grounded view of reality, and medications can have dire side effects and limited effectiveness.

In Getting Past Your Past, Francine Shapiro, who created EMDR (the “eye movement” therapy), opens the door to a scientifically proven mode of treatment used by thousands of clinicians worldwide. The book offers practical procedures that demystify the process and empower readers looking to break free from emotional roadblocks. Shapiro explains the brain science in layman’s terms and provides simple exercises that readers can do at home to achieve real change.

“I always came out of my EMDR therapist’s office reeling (in a good way); and the things I learned
have stayed with me and enriched my conscious mind. It’s a powerful process. I recommend it.”
—from The Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon

Just downloaded the ebook from my local library. :)

Am reading Chapter 2. Chapter 1 offers one of the best explanations about the EMDR process I've heard or read. It also expanded my perception that the process is really focused on traumatic memories. Shapiro gives illuminating examples of how seemingly innocuous childhood memories can result in major problems for someone in adulthood. I get the impression she wrote this for beginning practitioners rather than patients, but that doesn't matter to me. The information is highly valuable. She is also an easy read, breaking down complex mental processes into clear and simple terms.

It may just be the two of us reading this, but I’ll ask this anyway.

If you have provided or received EMDR therapy, what results have you personally experienced?

My personal take with the 1 book a month pace is that 1 month is too short to read most of these books, simply due to their somber or emotionally challenging/exhausting nature. It’s just hard to stay with them day after day. This isn’t a romantic beach read, or some page-turner thriller you bought at the airport for the flight. So, I think 2 months per book is a more realistic time frame. But I don’t want to go back to just 6 books a year again. Not yet. I do prefer a pace of attempting a new book per month, but will keep them open as currently reading for 2 months each, so we’ll overlap one book with the next. Not everyone is interested in every topic. This way we’ll have at least 2 options active every month. More opportunities per year for people to engage. I am open to an additional moderator or 2 to help carry the load.

Steve, I'm open to taking 2 months, or even posting a list of several books, and inviting open discussion for whichever one resonates with the reader. I've noticed in this forum that when I post comments, they are rarely responded to or discussed further. Because of that, I feel I have a choice: make a comment sharing my thoughts with no expectation of follow-up, or leave the group.

In answer to your question: yes, I have received EMDR therapy. For me, it was a major step forward in my 45+ years of healing. I sometimes wonder if it had been around in the 1980's if it would have had the same impact, but probably not. EMDR was the last therapy I used -- about 4 years ago -- and the effects continue. I write about the discovery and use of EMDR, along with my personal experiences with that therapy in my book. It includes sharing what I wrote in my journal during the process each week.

EMDR was intense, shattering in some ways, breaking me open in others, and ultimately healed deep wounds and long-held anger and sadness about my childhood.

Thanks for sharing. I’m here. I’m worried about … being too responsive. I try not to comment too much. It feels like I take up too much of the oxygen as it is.

It helps to hear of your experiences. I have been doing EMDR for sometime but find it doesn’t have any effect on its own for me. As I get older, every time I recount something … or take a deep dive on it, I’m a little wiser than the last time, and see it with more insight or perspective. But, it is also kicking the hornets nest to do that. All the edges are just as rough as ever.

I lost my access to the book mid month and have been busy. I’m only 23% in. I’m not a fan of this book, but will keep going. If I posted about this book frequently … it would probably be a toxic diatribe, so I’m trying to refrain from that. Feels like I’ve been grumpy about more of these books than not. I wonder if that grumpiness suppresses sharing.

Can you share what it was about EMDR that … clicked? I’m not trying to elicit the details of your trauma, though I’m not averse to that either. Perhaps it takes a tangible story to convey, or perhaps it doesn’t. I just don’t get anything out of EMDR so far. I’m curious how EMDR manifests an improvement or in what way. It seems to be very successful for some people … so they say.

This will be long, because I have a few thoughts about why EMDR was so successful for me.

Background: When I was 34 years old, a chance phone call with my estranged brother revealed shocking news: the memories I had of our childhood were mostly false. By that point, I had already been in talk-therapy and 12-step for codependency for a number of years.

First, by the time I tried EMDR, I had 40+ years in 12-step, talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, group therapy, experiential therapy, and had spent a month in-patient for depression. By then I was, as the kids say, living my best life. Yet there were lingering signs of trauma: I still had to check windows/doors to make sure they were locked. I still had a HUGE startle response that triggered many times a day. I still had a deep fear of electricity and heights. I still couldn't connect with my body and actively shamed it. I still dreamed of an island or bunker where I would be safe and isolated.

So I decided to try EMDR. By the time of my first session, I had 40+ years of understanding and practice that I was in charge of my healing; that if I let go of my self-protective barriers like shame, anger, blaming and other forms of denial, and was willing to face any pain, feel every feeling and be open to what I didn't want to see, then whatever therapy it was would be far more effective.

I had no idea what to expect with EMDR. I was lucky to connect with a nationally certified practitioner. The first thing that surprised me was she had no interest in my mental health history or any of the gory details of my childhood. Instead, as you no doubt know, there were certain words I chose to use as ... doorways, I guess. Carnival. Electricity. Hair. Over the next four months, I gained new insight and perspective. My startle response almost disappeared completely. I am no longer afraid of heights (I went parasailing!) or electricity. My OCD with checking doors/windows simply disappeared. I began to slowly connect with my body.

That's the gist of it. But here is a theory I wonder about: I am in the 1% who are truly ambidextrous. I already engage more of my left and right brain at the same time than other people do. I wonder if that innate ability helped me with EMDR? I don't know.

Steve, I hope some of that helps. Feel free to ask me anything. I have nothing in me that is hidden anymore. :)

I did not like this book ... or this author. Writing how I truly feel about it, and breaking down what is wrong with what is said and how it is said ... does not feel helpful.

I want this, or anything, to be successful at healing trauma. I really do. For me, ... this didn't do anything. Bessel seems to think this is the greatest thing, ... so I'm sure I'll come back to it again. But, ... I found no there there.