Book Snails Book Group discussion

Greetings Book Snails!

This buddy read is open to anyone who’s interested!
(Sorry for the late notice!)


Goodreads description:

In the wake of a catastrophic storm, Cora sets off with her nine-year-old daughter, Maia, to register her son's birth. Her husband, Gordon, a local doctor, respected in the community but a terrifying and controlling presence at home, intends for her to name the infant after him. But when the registrar asks what she'd like to call the child, Cora hesitates...

Spanning thirty-five years, what follows are three alternate and alternating versions of Cora's and her young son's lives, shaped by her choice of name. In richly layered prose, The Names explores the painful ripple effects of domestic abuse, the messy ties of family, and the possibilities of autonomy and healing.


The book is broken down by years: 1987, 1994, 2001, 2008, 2015, and 2022, with a short prologue and epilogue. Each year contains 3 chapters, one for each Name.

Reading breakdown:
9/14-9/20: Prologue + 1987 + 1994 (87 pages)
9/21-9/27: 2001 + 2008 (95 pages)
9/28-10/4: 2015 + 2022 + Epilogue (127 pages)

Comment below if you’d like to read along!

I'm attending a cross stitch retreat from 9/18-9/20 so I've finished up the reading for this week a little early.

I read the Prologue and 1987 a couple months ago before putting the book aside for awhile. I was originally a bit turned off because Goodreads stated it's, "The extraordinary novel that asks: Can a name change the course of a life?" In actuality, I found that it's about a woman in a seriously abusive relationship and follows what becomes of her son if she A) Gives him a name her daughter chose (against her husband's wishes), B) Gives him a name she chose (against her husband's wishes), or C) Gives him the name her husband demands. So... "the course of a life" isn't so much changed by the name as it is by the circumstances that arise when the wife either A) Chooses the name her husband wants to keep him happy though it makes her resentful or B) Chooses a different name which pisses her husband off and promotes an even more toxic environment.

That being said, I really hoped to see a storyline in which Cora finds the strength and courage to leave Gordon on her own. (view spoiler)[Instead, we’re given one version where she’s rid of him only because he goes to jail for killing their neighbor, and another where it’s implied that he kills her (based on the mention of domestic homicide). I can only hope she manages to break free after little Gordon turns 18 in that storyline, which thus far disgusts me.

However, I am liking the bond that Maia and Bear have developed in the Bear storyline. It seems that her having chosen his name resulted in an extra special bond between the two, which is sweet.

I am also hoping we get more information about what actually happened to both Cora and Gordon in the Julian storyline. (hide spoiler)]

Can't wait to hear what others think!

Oh I didn’t notice you had already wrote your view down here!
I do agree with you that it’s not the actual names that change the course of their lives, maybe later on they will?
But I have to say I really like this book already. Her writing style is quite beautiful, I think, and the personalities of the woman and her daughter are described pretty vividly. Also (view spoiler)[the way she suddenly realises how she might have put her daughter in danger when choosing ‘Bear’ and how the panic flows through her (hide spoiler)] was written very well. I also (view spoiler)[ was shocked to read how she just imploded by choosing her husbands name. How she lost her connection with her son there. But it didn’t feel exaggerated to me, this could be the last thing to pull her into that depression. (hide spoiler)]
It’s a really small part we have read yet, but I can’t wait to continue.

I’ve finished 2001 and wanted to get my thoughts down before moving on to 2008.

Honestly, it’s not keeping me very engaged. The seven-year time jumps make the story feel disjointed and jarring, almost like a creative writing exercise. I feel it falls short in developing the story enough to show how the characters progress from point A to point B.

The Gordon storyline also continues to disgust me. I was completely baffled by (view spoiler)[the dinner scene during which Gordon piles food onto Cora’s plate. Why? What was the point? I feel like he only succeeded in making them both look bad. (hide spoiler)]

Hopefully you're still enjoying it, Pien.

Teresa, have you found your way to this page? Have you started reading?

Hi Teresa, how nice to hear you’re joining this buddy read! And hi Erin!
Yes, I’ve finished 2001 too and the way Gordon acted as you described in the spoiler was unbelievable. I think (view spoiler)[ he’s such a gaslighter, telling her not to eat too much and then putting all that food on her plate, and the thing with the wine, he’s really bullying her. I didn’t really understand how that one moment does make everyone so uneasy though. Everyone has pushed or almost push over a glass someday didn’t they? That doesn’t really say anything about a relationship? (hide spoiler)]
I very much like the book. I like to have a ‘look in’ every seven years how they are doing, in my eyes it keeps up the pace, which keeps the story interesting. And, apart from Gordon-Gordon, which is hard to read (the young one too), there’s such loving stories.
I’m sorry to hear you’re not enjoying it as much.
Well, let’s get on with 2008!

I don’t see Gordon (view spoiler)[as a gaslighter. Cora knows exactly what she’s married to. I think maybe Gordon intended to portray himself as a doting husband when he piled food onto Cora’s plate, though he went too far for it to really read as “doting.” And the way the moment unfolded was awkward. It wasn’t a harmless mishap, it was an uncomfortable exchange between spouses. His insistence on loading her plate, followed by his overreaction when she tried to stop him, essentially blaming her for the spilled wine, felt like an attempt to paint her in a bad light. (hide spoiler)]

But I do like the point you make about "looking in" on the characters to keep up the pace, Pien. Maybe keeping that perspective in mind will make the reading go easier for me.

Finished 2008, this seems to me a phase where all of them are (view spoiler)[ deciding about their relationship. Bear goes his own way and isn’t open when things are getting hard (he doesn’t tell his girlfriend how sick he has been, while he’s clearly lost so much weight during the sickness). Maybe he is like that because his mom isn’t really open to him about what happened on the fatal day?
Julian decides not to have a relationship with Orla because he doesn’t want to share his secrets (I don’t really get that, I feel like his grandmother gives room for feelings and being who you are) and in the last part its all about Cora deciding to finally leave. I thought Maia’s realization that she has actually ignored the situation with Cora and her father interesting. It’s probably the only way she can deal with it. (hide spoiler)]
I am excited to find out how things will develop from here. Although for me the stage where the boy was a child was most interesting.

(view spoiler)[ Thinking about Julian a bit more. Would you say he’s scared a girlfriend would fear he would become like his father? Is that the reason he distances himself from her? (view spoiler)[ (hide spoiler)] (hide spoiler)]

I’ve finished 2008 as well.

It’s been interesting to see the different career paths each boy takes, how greatly they differ from one another. Yet Maia’s career choice in both the Julian storyline and the Gordon storyline are similar. (Did I miss which career she follows in the Bear storyline? I couldn’t recall and tried to look back, but that’s harder to do with a physical book than an ebook.)

It was also interesting to see (view spoiler)[how Lily plays a role in both Bear’s and Gordon’s lives. In Gordon’s storyline, he sours their relationship almost immediately by pushing too hard too fast. Yet in Bear’s, he holds back so much that their steady relationship doesn’t become as intimate as it could. (hide spoiler)]

I think both Bear and Julian (view spoiler)[are afraid of becoming like their father. With Bear, we see it in this passage following the conversation he has with his mother about his father while they are painting:

“‘It’s kind of reassuring. To know that it was his dad, and not some genetic thing.” Cora sees the flicker of uncertainty pass across his face and says, “Oh, Bear, you could never be like him.” “I know,” he says, himself again. “But you can’t help wondering. I’ll be standing in a queue feeling impatient with the person on the checkout—how they can never seem to find the barcode—and I’ll start thinking, Is this it? Is this that bit of him?'”

With Julian, we see it in the passage regarding church and confession: “Julian doesn’t want the pains of hell. But even more, he doesn’t want to be the one inflicting the hurt.” He had five years with his parents before he was sent to his grandmother and he carries memories of his father that haunt him and fuel a determination not to become like him. (hide spoiler)]

I found it baffling that (view spoiler)[Silbhe is in the best shape of her life in Julian’s storyline, yet dead in Gordon’s. And, as with Cora and Gordon’s deaths in Julian’s storyline, we’re given no explanation. I can only assume it must have been some kind of accident because, if she’s thriving in one storyline, surely she can’t be so unwell in another that she’d die of natural cause. I’m still hoping we’ll get answers about all three deaths. (hide spoiler)]

I am glad (view spoiler)[Cora finally managed to break away in the Gordon storyline, and I’m now eager to see where that goes. It is sad and strange, though, that Maia became so distanced from her mother. Perhaps, after years of watching her mother refuse to stand up for herself, she learned to put on blinders as a way to cope with the pain of witnessing the abuse. (hide spoiler)]

I’m curious, which storyline do you find most compelling? For me, it’s Julian’s. I enjoy reading about his jewelry-making, the care and thought he pours into each piece. I just hope he can (view spoiler)[work through his issues and work things out with Orla. (hide spoiler)]

Just finished 2015 Bear... Wow!

I'm actually liking the book much more now that we've gotten into the adult years. I liked how the author (view spoiler)[incorporated the Islamic terrorist attacks in France into the story. And my heart swelled when Bear and Lily finally expressed their true feelings to one another. (hide spoiler)] Though I'm very curious to see what becomes of (view spoiler)[Silbhe in the Julian storyline, now that she is deceased in both of the others. (hide spoiler)]

Finished all of 2015 now.

It's nice that (view spoiler)[Julian is in a good spot with Orla now, but the Gordon storyline is proving very disappointing. I can't believe Cora keeps going back!!! Gaslighting has definitely come into play now, with Gordon Sr. "caring" for her and feeding her false information so that she appears crazy at her evaluation. Ugh!!! At least young Gordon is finally seeing reason and turning his life around... (hide spoiler)]

Finished 2022—just the Epilogue left.

I definitely haven’t loved this one, though there were some moments that really drew me in. I think the long time gaps and repeated shifts between characters made it a bit difficult to keep track of certain things. (I’m still not sure what Maia’s career path was in Bear’s storyline.)

That said, I did find it interesting how each of the men (view spoiler)[ultimately landed in a good place. Though Bear died from a wasp sting, he had a happy marriage and a wonderful relationship with his daughter. One can assume that Julian also got there eventually, it just took a little longer. And Gordon… the way he came through for his mom in the end was surprising but heartwarming. (hide spoiler)]

Overall, it appeared that (view spoiler)[there was a good guy in each man all along; it just surfaced differently depending on which childhood he was given. (hide spoiler)]

Finished 2015 Bear (oh my, I have to hurry!) What a lovely part of the story. It was indeed so nice to read how Bear (view spoiler)[ realized that he was ready to settle down, and told Lily how he felt for her. And living so close to his family now! Also it was lovely to read he kept in touch with Cian and even asked him to make the ring. It’s sad Silbhe is already gone. My theory is that she gets older in the Julian story because the children keep her young. She has a good rhythm with getting up early, go running, and then taking care of them. To be good to them, she has to be good for herself.
(hide spoiler)]
Well, reading on! :-)

Well, I’ve finished.

I liked the Epilogue, how (view spoiler)[Gordon Sr. ponders a number of “what ifs.” I must confess, I have often caught myself asking, “Where would I be if…?” (hide spoiler)]

I also read through the character name meanings as well as the Author’s Note. I was intrigued by her comment on the cover artwork—how each flower “seems to reflect a particular narrative, while sharing the same stem.” I searched Google to try to identify each flower, but I couldn’t find a clear answer. This was the best I could come up with:

* Though I’m not entirely convinced, the white flower may be a Paperwhite Narcissus, which symbolizes purity, innocence, and rebirth.
* The orange flower is a poppy, often associated with resilience and the ability to find beauty and strength even after hardship.
* The purple flower looks like an iris to me. (Google said it was a zinnia, which is definitely wrong.) If so, it represents wisdom, strength, courage, and royalty.

So, which flower do you think represents each storyline?

From the way I identified the flowers (and please let me know if you identified them differently), these are my thoughts:

* The orange poppy must represent (view spoiler)[Julian’s story. He experienced the trauma of his father murdering his mother, yet proved resilient and ultimately built a beautiful life. (hide spoiler)]
* The purple iris seems to align with (view spoiler)[Gordon’s story. Gordon Sr. acts like he is royalty. And, given his father’s name, I expected young Gordon to be treated as the golden child. Instead, he suffered abuse. However, he eventually found the wisdom and strength to oppose his father, finding peace for both himself and his mother. (hide spoiler)]
* Which leaves the white flower to represent (view spoiler)[Bear's story. I suppose he possessed innocence—without his father in the picture, his mother and sister were free to dote on him, and he was free to choose his own path. And perhaps the “rebirth” element refers to his realization that freedom “is just about choosing the life you want. Even if that life’s in one place, doing the food shopping together. Arguing over who forgot to buy loo roll.” Or, the rebirth could actually refer to Cora's "rebirth" after her husband is sent to prison and she is free of him. (hide spoiler)]

Looking forward to hearing your final thoughts!

Finished 2015. Yes, isn’t it nice (view spoiler)[ Orla and he got together? Because of that one empathic comment of Cian he finally managed to talk to her, such a beautiful part of the story. And Maia finally learning to acknowledge her true feelings…
And then Cora, being imprisoned like that. You didn’t expect her to back either did you? It was so appalling! Her kids should really get her out of there, but they are only feeling sorry for Cora. I understand and I really don’t at the same time. Then, it’s interesting to read about Gordon trying to find his way back to becoming a better person. (hide spoiler)] You asked which storyline I like best and I don’t have a clear favorite. It must be Bear’s or Julian’s though.
I’m very curious how the stories are going to end, with only one chapter left.

Wow, I love your ideas about the flowers and fully agree with you. How beautiful! The funny thing is, that my book has another artwork. It’s of a young man walking away, with three shadows coming from him. You can’t see his face but the writer describes how you can see al three boys in him. You can see in his posture arrogance, doubtfulness and security, based on which of the men you have in mind.
I think it’s actually true!
Then the ending. What hit me most was Gordon (view spoiler)[ secretly filming his parents and hiding a phone and money in the bushes to save his mom. Finally!! I was also touched by Julian finally realizing that he would never be like his dad and could become his whole self, finding back his love for Orla with that.
Also, Cora falling in love in the Bear story was so wonderful!
I realize I don’t mention Maia much, although I liked her. Somehow, she was t that interesting to me.
Bear dying, why??? He has been outside all the time in all these countries and is fine, and then in his own house he dies because of a wasp? That was a bit hard to understand. And of course, I loved Bear. (hide spoiler)]
How many stars do you give this book? I’m not shure yet, I often take a day or so to decide. The negative is that I still agree with you that the difference in lives is not really caused by the names. The positive is the tangibility, or ‘realness’ of the characters. I felt like I knew them, they were complete characters to me. Only the old Gordon isn’t but he is quite unexplainable I think.
Also the love in the stories and the feelgood vibe are things I really liked. Reading this book was very enjoyable.

Your edition has a different cover and author’s note? How fascinating!

I was definitely surprised to find out that (view spoiler)[Gordon had been secretly recording his parents at home—but it was a good surprise, unlike Bear’s death by wasp sting. That was incredibly frustrating. It felt like such a lame way to go and it was especially sad because he had been living such a full and happy life. (hide spoiler)]

I ended up giving the book a 3-star rating. There were moments that really pulled me in, but as I mentioned before, I struggled with the seven-year time jumps. And I really wasn’t a fan of (view spoiler)[Bear’s death by wasp sting. 🙈 (hide spoiler)]

I'm so glad you liked it so well though, Pien!

Maybe the (view spoiler)[ wasp sting that happened to Bear was to underline again how small things can have such life changing consequences? But I didn’t like it either, at all. (hide spoiler)]
I gave the book 4 stars. I finished an okay book that I gave three, and five is too much.
Well thanks for another nice buddy read! It was a short one this time! (And rightly so, because I have to return the book in a few days, as you expected)