Beta Reader Request: Blood of the Father Logline: When his family is violently abducted into a brutal fantasy world, a suburban dad from Alabama must embrace a bloody prophecy and become a monster to save the very children his newfound savagery is alienating. Title: Blood of the Father Genre: Dark Portal Fantasy Projected Word Count: Approx. 100,000 - 120,000 words Comparable Titles: The gritty character transformation of Joe Abercrombie's The Blade Itself meets the desperate, violent fatherhood of the video game God of War (2018). Synopsis Kelly is a 37-year-old sales manager from Cullman, Alabama, whose biggest concerns are his golf score and his sons' T-ball games. His world ends not with a bang, but with a violent tear in reality. When he, his wife Monica, and their two sons, Camden and Easton, are dragged into the brutal, war-torn world of Aethelgard, a simple promise to "die for his family" becomes a horrifying understatement. In the chaotic aftermath of their arrival, Monica and Camden are captured by The Sorrow, a charismatic agent of the tyrannical sorcerer Vexarion. His youngest son, Easton, is lost in a haunted forest teeming with monsters. Left for dead, Kelly is saved by Kaelen, a cynical, half-elf outcast who informs him that his arrival was foretold. An ancient prophecy speaks of a "Ghost" from another world—a "Butcher" whose capacity for violence will be the key to overthrowing Vexarion's reign. To have any hope of seeing his family again, Kelly must become the Ghost. Armed with cursed blades that hum with a crimson rage and guided by a man who trusts no one, he begins a bloody education in this new world's savage calculus. But as he carves a path of vengeance, his family is being transformed by the very forces he's fighting. In the enemy's capital, Monica sheds her civilized skin to become a cunning survivor, plotting a desperate gambit of her own. And deep in the woods, Easton forges an impossible bond with a mythical creature, awakening a divine power that changes him into something ancient and unrecognizable. Faced with an impossible choice—a direct, suicidal assault on the Citadel to save his wife and eldest son, or a strategic strike against the enemy's war machine that could save the world but leave his family in peril—Ghost must decide what kind of monster he is willing to become. What I'm Looking For in Feedback I'm looking for your honest, overall impressions of the story. You don't need to be a professional editor, just a reader who loves this genre! I'm particularly interested in: The Hook: Did the opening chapters grab you? Was the transition from Alabama to Aethelgard effective? Character Arcs: Is Ghost's (Kelly's) transformation from suburban dad to brutal killer believable and compelling? How did you react to Monica's drastic actions in Act 3? Did her evolution feel earned? What are your thoughts on Easton's storyline and his new powers? Pacing: Were there any parts where the story dragged or you felt bored? Were there any parts that felt too rushed? Dialogue: Does Ghost's modern, sarcastic voice work for you within the dark fantasy setting? Does it ever pull you out of the story? Overall Enjoyment: What was your favorite part? What was your least favorite part? Did the act breaks leave you wanting to know what happens next? Content Warnings Please be advised that this manuscript is a Dark Fantasy and contains scenes of: Graphic violence and gore Systematic torture Foul language Murder of non-combatants Themes of grief and psychological trauma
Logline: When his family is violently abducted into a brutal fantasy world, a suburban dad from Alabama must embrace a bloody prophecy and become a monster to save the very children his newfound savagery is alienating.
Title: Blood of the Father
Genre: Dark Portal Fantasy
Projected Word Count: Approx. 100,000 - 120,000 words
Comparable Titles: The gritty character transformation of Joe Abercrombie's The Blade Itself meets the desperate, violent fatherhood of the video game God of War (2018).
Synopsis
Kelly is a 37-year-old sales manager from Cullman, Alabama, whose biggest concerns are his golf score and his sons' T-ball games. His world ends not with a bang, but with a violent tear in reality. When he, his wife Monica, and their two sons, Camden and Easton, are dragged into the brutal, war-torn world of Aethelgard, a simple promise to "die for his family" becomes a horrifying understatement.
In the chaotic aftermath of their arrival, Monica and Camden are captured by The Sorrow, a charismatic agent of the tyrannical sorcerer Vexarion. His youngest son, Easton, is lost in a haunted forest teeming with monsters. Left for dead, Kelly is saved by Kaelen, a cynical, half-elf outcast who informs him that his arrival was foretold. An ancient prophecy speaks of a "Ghost" from another world—a "Butcher" whose capacity for violence will be the key to overthrowing Vexarion's reign.
To have any hope of seeing his family again, Kelly must become the Ghost. Armed with cursed blades that hum with a crimson rage and guided by a man who trusts no one, he begins a bloody education in this new world's savage calculus. But as he carves a path of vengeance, his family is being transformed by the very forces he's fighting. In the enemy's capital, Monica sheds her civilized skin to become a cunning survivor, plotting a desperate gambit of her own. And deep in the woods, Easton forges an impossible bond with a mythical creature, awakening a divine power that changes him into something ancient and unrecognizable.
Faced with an impossible choice—a direct, suicidal assault on the Citadel to save his wife and eldest son, or a strategic strike against the enemy's war machine that could save the world but leave his family in peril—Ghost must decide what kind of monster he is willing to become.
What I'm Looking For in Feedback
I'm looking for your honest, overall impressions of the story. You don't need to be a professional editor, just a reader who loves this genre! I'm particularly interested in:
The Hook: Did the opening chapters grab you? Was the transition from Alabama to Aethelgard effective?
Character Arcs:
Is Ghost's (Kelly's) transformation from suburban dad to brutal killer believable and compelling?
How did you react to Monica's drastic actions in Act 3? Did her evolution feel earned?
What are your thoughts on Easton's storyline and his new powers?
Pacing: Were there any parts where the story dragged or you felt bored? Were there any parts that felt too rushed?
Dialogue: Does Ghost's modern, sarcastic voice work for you within the dark fantasy setting? Does it ever pull you out of the story?
Overall Enjoyment: What was your favorite part? What was your least favorite part? Did the act breaks leave you wanting to know what happens next?
Content Warnings
Please be advised that this manuscript is a Dark Fantasy and contains scenes of:
Graphic violence and gore
Systematic torture
Foul language
Murder of non-combatants
Themes of grief and psychological trauma