hot girls read books discussion

I was quite sick for a long time and the doctors couldn't get it figured out. My fiance had been gone for years at this point same with the vast majority of my family. So about a year ago i got to the point where I just didn't care about anything anymore.

I laid down on the floor and I just waited to die. I wasn't so much sucidial as I just got tired of living in this crappy world. Of course it takes awhile to die by just laying on the floor.

I spent alot of time trying to sleep. Mostly cause being awake meant my body telling me it was hungry and even if I was too lazy to eat. It does get quite uncomfortable if you haven't eaten for weeks.

Thinking about the universe, physics mathematics, philosophy trying to find a justification to live or kill myself. During this time i found enlightment and with it the ability to entirely control my emotional frame of reference.


I literally figured out how to experience happiness not based on inputs of my surroundings, but from changing the frame of reference i compared it to.


Even so I was still quite ill and in pain. Which I could mitigate to a large extent, I couldn't completely remove feeling it. And I still didn't have a reason to live.

Circumstances beyond my control changed that resulted in me getting better and so despite being ready to die, I didn't.

I am pretty smart person i made financial means in my 20s that allows me to do whatever I want basically. I am not so much retired as I just do what interests me which can be almost anything. (mostly research in mathematics.)

I realized that the understanding i had gained could be useful to others and that creates a moral argument on whether I should try and share that information.

Unfortunately I am autistic savant, that is to say my brain is pretty broken to begin with. And there is a good reason why no one has really been able to write down exactly what enlightment is.

Its not just knowledge and understanding, but something more fundamental it is both a concept and an idea simultaneously.


This makes it particularly difficult to communicate. Needless to say though I am quite intelligent with an iq exceeding the maximum score of any test I have had to take throughout my life leaving me somewhere well north of 145 points/genius area.

This is only one of many facets of intelligence though, the ability to logically manipulate various parameters to reach the solution.

A much more important form of intelligence is emotional intelligence this is one's ability to understand others and communicate with them effectively.

After a long time I decided the best way to communicate that information was by creating a compelling narrative and char cters for a reader to follow and after many thousands of pages i could shape their perspective, with the underlying motivation and knowledge that would give the greatest number of people the chance of finding that understanding.

I wrote the first book in the series and the people who read it found it fascinating. They encouraged me to publish it.

Which I eventually did., only to find out while writing something people enjoy reading is not that difficult. Getting people to read something is much more difficult.

Honestly I would like to just give up. While i do enjoy the complexity that writing such a multilayered story brings , the difficulty in getting people to read it is far higher than I could of imagined.

I have tried ads as well as various other booklist advertisers the first of which ran today. And as far as I can tell not a single person has even clicked on it on it from the paid mailling list today.

I booked 5 others for this weekend and next, but I got no reason to expect they will do any better.

I have tried everything I can think of, offering free copies, advertising changing the cover art and book blurb several times, I just cant seem to get any traction.

In the end it doesn't matter what it has written in it if no one is going to read it.

My question is this how do i know when 8 have put sufficient effort into getting others to read it that i have met my morale obligation to share the perceived knowledge?

I am sure that question seems extremely odd.

What i mean to say is at what point am I allowed to acknowledge that the effort i put into trying to get others to read it is sufficient to justify me stopping the editing of the second book and just move onto doing something more productive with my time?

I really hope no one takes this as egotistical or narcissistic. Its merely that my motivation for writing the book was to communicate information i thought might help people in the at the moment at least rather dark world


Either way I am open to suggestions as I am not really sure how to proceed.


Thank you for taking the time to read this, I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter.

I know that saying I’m sorry you had to go through that won’t change anything, and that you’ve probably heard it before, but i am still sorry.

And as for if you should quit writing, i think that if it makes you happy, even if ppl don’t read it, don’t stop. Life is short, so you should do what brings you joy.
And i know that that isn’t very helpful, and that trying so hard to get ppl to read your story only to have them not is an awful feeling, but maybe one day the right people will find it and it will mean something to them.
Hold a special place in their heart.

I mean the amount of abuse I suffered in my life is certainly much higher than average in the 1st world, but the understanding it gave me was more than sufficient payment for the that knowledge.

More specifically the understanding of what the wolrd will become alleviates the requirement of intervention. My goal was merely to increase the speed at which it reaches that inevitably. if I understand what your saying, you are suggesting that I should do what i want?

@Christopher

Yup, pretty much.

All the time especially today but u gotta get through it 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Rowan wrote: "I know that saying I’m sorry you had to go through that won’t change anything, and that you’ve probably heard it before, but i am still sorry.

And as for if you should quit writing, i think that i..."

I felt the same way I thought I was alone

I mean I am the point where I need to either put an order of magnitude more effort into advertising or give up.

While I certainly do enjoy writing I enjoy many things, but advertising is certainly not one of them.

as far as I am concerned its basically just annoying a large number of people in order to be able to communicate the desired information to a very small number of people that are looking for that.

I was not a huge fan of the idea of publishing to begin with, but given the choice, between putting significantly more effort into advertising or quiting writing i would much rather the latter. if the paid ads this weekend and next are not able to get it some traction as I suspect I can happily give up with being able to say i gave it a honest try.

Thank you for your time it was nuch appreciated everyone.

I am alone, but only by choice. we'll and everyone else dieing, but that really wasn't my choice. I don't mind being alone. I got over all of it all long time ago.

When your alone you don't have anything to lose and i am tired of losing people i love.

That may seem short sighted, but I already got to have three people in my life that loved me more than anything else in their life.

That's alot more than most will ever be able to say. I just don't need anymore.

Thank you everyone for being so kind. I often struggle with what the right choice to make is. I try and just do whatever is right that makes it easier, but sometimes I don't know what that is.

I do know that our world sits on the edge of a knife. I cant say when exactly, but we are very close to our world becoming a much better place.

Change is very hard to come by.

I know with people like trump in power its a bit hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but he is having a profound effect on the world.

while not the best method anger that leads to that level of outrage is one of the few levers one can pull to effectively make change at a societal level.

Yes I am saying trump is such a profound bag of dicks that he will make the world a better place.

Eventually...

uh yeah I am sure there are trump supporters somewhere in Alberta, but 99% of the Canadian population absolutely hates that man.

His views on non white males is absolutely revolting. I don't believe in the death penalty, but the us should of shot or hung him instead of making him their president AGAIN.

The trade war he started we will get over, but electing trump again. I honestly don't think most Canadians will ever be able to forgive that.

almost every country in the world has a pro trump or at least a trump sympathetic party that ran for election.

In canada every single political party ran an anti trump campaign even our far right wing conservatives ran anti trump, condemned his anti abortion push, his anti DEI agenda his weird hard on hate for the LGBTq2+ w.e community.

That was what our far right conservatives party leader did during the election...

him and fking Elon are hated so much in canada.