A Little Life
question
Jude and Willem's relationship
Lou
(last edited
Nov 11, 2025 08:33AM
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Nov 11, 2025 08:24AM
After finishing the book, I thought a lot about Jude and Willem's relationship. They both suffered so much during their relationship: Willem by witnessing how sick Jude really was, and Jude by feeling sorry for showing how really sick he was. Was it when they decided to get together that everything fell apart? Was it a death sentence for Jude? Would Willem have done a good thing by leaving for his and Jude's sake? Would it have been better if they had remained friends? I would really like to know what you think about their relationship. (+ specific topic: Was Willem just another person that r*ped Jude? By asking himself whether he liked it or not [because to me, Jude showed clear signs that he didn't] but by doing it anyway?)
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I understand why so many people see Jude and Willem’s relationship as tragic or even misguided — and maybe, in many ways, it was. But I can’t stop thinking that Jude, after everything, deserved to be loved. Not just taken care of or watched over, but truly loved. His entire life was built on endurance, on surviving what no one should ever have to survive. So when love finally reached him — however imperfectly, however painfully — it felt like the universe offering him a brief glimpse of something he had long been denied.
I don’t think Willem’s love was meant to fix Jude, because Jude was never someone who could be “fixed.” Rather, it was an act of witness — of standing beside him despite the darkness. That kind of love is not neat or easy; it’s filled with contradictions, with guilt and helplessness. But for a man who had been used, violated, and discarded his entire life, the mere act of being chosen — of being held without demand — mattered.
Their relationship was not pure healing, but it was a moment of humanity within endless suffering. Willem’s love didn’t save Jude, but maybe it showed him, even fleetingly, that love could exist without cruelty. And that, to me, is something sacred — not because it redeemed Jude’s story, but because it allowed him to touch, for once, something close to peace.
I don’t think Willem’s love was meant to fix Jude, because Jude was never someone who could be “fixed.” Rather, it was an act of witness — of standing beside him despite the darkness. That kind of love is not neat or easy; it’s filled with contradictions, with guilt and helplessness. But for a man who had been used, violated, and discarded his entire life, the mere act of being chosen — of being held without demand — mattered.
Their relationship was not pure healing, but it was a moment of humanity within endless suffering. Willem’s love didn’t save Jude, but maybe it showed him, even fleetingly, that love could exist without cruelty. And that, to me, is something sacred — not because it redeemed Jude’s story, but because it allowed him to touch, for once, something close to peace.
i think it would have been better if they remained friends. especially for Jude I think, he didn't need a romantic relationship he just needed proper help and companionship which Willem was fulfilling without the romantic and (especially) sexual aspect. and also the whole romantic feeling thing came out of nowhere (at least for me), so overall their relationship was very odd to me
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