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Humor/Random > A Letter To The Authors In This Very Non-Fictional World. (This is a joke….mostly)

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message 1: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments Dear Authors,
I hate you.
I hate you because you made me dream of worlds where anything is possible.
I hate you because I am now thoroughly unsatisfied with my terribly mortal existence, and all I want is to be among those that live in letters strung together to make words on a page.
There are no billions of dollars for me to inherit.
No bargains to be made with faeries whose words are anything but truthful.
No demons to hunt or runes to draw.
There isn’t a mist that shrouds monstrous or godly beings from my eyes.
There aren’t any monsters for me to battle— at least, not any literal ones.
My name is neither a palindrome nor an anagram.
My world isn’t ruled by opposing factions.
I am not a wizard or a witch.
My wardrobe doesn’t lead to a land with lions and magic.
I am not an unexplainable mutation with the ability to wield lightning.
I cannot lead a rebellion.
I’ve never been called as tribute.
I am not divergent.
I wasn’t kidnapped to attend a school for the pure and wicked.
I don’t get to call an alcoholic serpent my king, or a conniving mortal my queen.
My kingdom wasn’t stolen by conquerers who gave me the title of ash princess.
My touch doesn’t cause pain to any who feel it, and I wasn’t switched at birth.
I am not a vampire slaying guardian.
I cannot control the earth and I have never experienced a fifth season.
I never followed a rabbit who was late.
I never shot a wolf with an arrow made of ash.
I never soared through the skies on a dragon.
And an owl never gave me a letter at eleven, I was never claimed at twelve, I was never kidnapped at thirteen, I never discovered my true heritage at fifteen, I will never choose a faction at sixteen, I won’t ever win the games at sixteen, I shall never inherit a vast fortune from an eccentric billionaire I never knew.
And the chances are, I will never go on an adventure at fifty years old with a bearded wizard and a cursed ring.

But does this mean I’m going to stop reading? Nope, I’ll just keep raising my standards impossibly high and falling in love with men that don’t exist.
(Fun times🙂)


(Your challenge is to identify how many references I made, good luck)


message 2: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments And may the odds be ever in your favor 🍀


message 3: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments Also identify what I referenced.


caroline (the smol bean) | 92 comments Is there a reference to The Cruel Prince?


LouBean ~ ( IT’S TIIIIIIIIME 🎄 ) | 656 comments - the inheritance games
- Percy Jackson?
- the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe
- wizard of oz
- the hobbit?
- Alice and wonderland


message 6: by sofia ♡ (new)

sofia ♡ | 112 comments ouabh
pjo
the inheritance games
holes?
harry potter
the lion the witch and the wardrobe
red queen
the hunger games
the school for good and evil
alice in wonderland


 Meerah (matching  w Cupcake and Madam big bells) | 136 comments The inheritance games
PJO
Harry Potter
The lion, the witch and the wardrobde
Harry Potter
Divergent
Hunger games
ACOTAR
Alice in Wonderland
Hobbit
The school for good and evil


message 8: by juliet♡ (new)

juliet♡ | 79 comments Rowan wrote: "Dear Authors,
I hate you.
I hate you because you made me dream of worlds where anything is possible.
I hate you because I am now thoroughly unsatisfied with my terribly mortal existence, and all I..."


okay poett


LouBean ~ ( IT’S TIIIIIIIIME 🎄 ) | 656 comments @juliet IKRRRRRRRR 🖋️📜✨✨✨✨✨


message 10: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments @Juliet & @Loubean

Lol, thanks guys 😂


message 11: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments @Caroline

Yes, multiple.


message 12: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments Ok, so, In total, I made 30 references in the “letter” but I did reference some things multiple times.


message 13: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments 30 references, 18 books.
Tell me if y’all want to keep guessing or if u want the answer.


message 14: by The (new)

The Queen (Karma is here) | 751 comments I’m working on it


message 15: by The (new)

The Queen (Karma is here) | 751 comments Harry Potter
Percy Jackson
Hunger games
Divergent
Alice in wonderland
A court of thorns and roses
Lord of the rings
Chronicles of Narnia
School of good and evil


And I don’t recognize the others


message 16: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments @Ophelia
All the books you guessed are correct.


message 17: by The (new)

The Queen (Karma is here) | 751 comments Well that’s good

I haven’t read school of good and evil yet but I’ve seen the Netflix movie


I wanna say maze runner too but I’m not sure because again, have not read or seen the movies


message 18: by The (new)

The Queen (Karma is here) | 751 comments Maybe wizard or oz or the wicked series?


message 19: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments Not maze runner or wicked/wizard of oz cuz I only referenced books that I’ve read.

Also, I hate the Netflix adaption. They ruined everything from the casting to the characters themselves/the plot😒


message 20: by The (new)

The Queen (Karma is here) | 751 comments Yeah I wasn’t impressed by the movie
Hopefully the book is better


message 21: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments It is.


message 22: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments @Meerah
The books u guessed are correct.


message 23: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments @Sofia

Everything is right except ouabh and holes.


message 24: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments @Lily

No to engola Holmes, shatter me and Eragon, but your the only one who got City of Bones!!!👏👏👏


message 25: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments *you’re


message 26: by Katniss (new)

Katniss Everdeen {Peeta and Keefe’s girl} | 678 comments Inheritance Games
Percy Jackson
Harry Potter
Hunger Games
Divergent
Chronicles of Narnia
Red Queen
Alice in Wonderland

That’s all I remember.
1. This is way to real!
2. You did a wonderful job!


message 27: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments Thanks😂

I was feeling bored when I decided to do this😅


message 28: by The (new)

The Queen (Karma is here) | 751 comments It’s a fantastic idea


message 29: by Rowan (new)

Rowan | 724 comments Thanks😊


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