WRITERS' CORNER discussion

To celebrate the 3rd Anniversary of my book Jack Majors: Superhero I am giving away a signed copy of my book to the winner of this writing competition.

All you have to do is:

1. Create your own 'original' (or as original as superheroes get) superhero
2. Write up a back story that explains how your character got their powers
3. Write a scene that has your character using their powers in action.

The winner will be chosen by voting poll, set up after the deadline, and I will inbox the winner to receive their mailing details. Let me know if you're in. Good luck and have fun with it!

Competition closes: 17th May, 2015

(NOTE: Poll will be set up a couple of days later to take into account time delays, i.e. I'm in Australia, so our 17th May is different from USA.)

In the competition:
TMEB
Ceili
Angelica
Rhystlynne
Madison

I'm in

Me two

Great, we now have a start of a competition! Good luck to you both :)

thanks :)

how long dos it need to be?

No set word limit, just enough to tell your character's story.

okay

If you’re a bit worried about what’s expected, here’s an example using my Jack Majors character. The action scene isn’t the best one from the book, as it is only his first use of them (when he’s getting to know his powers), because I didn’t want to give away too much from the book.

(view spoiler)[ JACK MAJORS: SUPERHERO

Back Story
Jack Majors was a normal Australian 16-year-old boy who loved sports and girls – namely, Wanda Starling. He spent his time playing Australian Rules football, pining over Wanda, catching up on homework and being chased around by Fredrick Rolley and his gang of bullies.

It wasn’t until he was handed a book, which had a black cover and no title that he started to piece together the possibility that he may just have super human abilities. Could it be that his ability to kick a football from one end of the oval to the other was part of his powers? Could his ability to sense when he was about to be tackled in football and sense when the bullies were coming for him be part of his powers? Could his ability to almost hover in the air when slam-dunking in basketball be part of his powers? He wasn’t sure, but the thoughts were now eating away in the back of his mind and he had to go and find out.

So Jack set off to test himself and, to his astonishment, found that he was able to sense danger, fly and lift vast amounts of weight without breaking a sweat. He now decides to use these powers to help fight against criminals that seem to be popping up all over Melbourne.

Power Scene
I walked to Terry’s house and then made way home. It wasn’t dark yet, but it was getting there. I walked out of Terry’s street and stood at the crossing of the main road. Two girls were waiting to cross with me. The lights turned red and the little pedestrian man turned green. The girls stepped out, while I was still deep in thought. I heard a screech and noticed one of the girls freeze as a black sedan skidded its way towards her. Without thinking I ran out grabbing the girl and leaped out of the way.
“Are you okay?” I asked the girl, as I got myself up.
She was in shock. Her friend looked at me in amazement, before tending to the girl, “Are you okay, Khiara?”
I grabbed Khiara’s hand to help her up, but her friend pushed my hand aside, “Let her go, you freak! Get away from us!”
I looked about. The traffic was moving slowly passed as the lights turned green. The driver of the black sedan stopped at the side of the road and was shakily getting out.
“She okay?” He called, while waiting for the traffic to pass.
I shrugged my shoulders not knowing what to do, as Khiara and her friend walked slowly towards a nearby bench. The friend was on her mobile phone; I guess she was calling her parents.
When the driver finally got across the road, he shook my hand. “Thank god you were there.”
I wasn’t sure what to do, but suddenly Khiara’s friend came over and shoved the man. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? You could have killed us if this freak wasn’t around!”
As the two argued, I decided I should get going home. I walked passed Khiara and smiled.
“Thanks.” She mumbled, still in shock.
I walked, deep in thought, and it wasn’t until I turned into my street that I thought about what had happened; I had actually grabbed a girl from the middle of the road and leaped to the curb with very little effort. My palms became sweaty. I raced back to the house and into my room.
Grabbing the book, I flicked through the pages that I had already read, until I came to the part that I was looking for:

… in most cases, people may just laugh off their superpowers, preferring to live as normal a life as possible, whether through fear of being different or just not realising that they are unique. However, for those few who take on the responsibility of using their powers for the greater good, it usually takes a jaw-dropping experience that happens without any thought to make them see their true potential; although there are many who will still put down their abilities to luck or a feat made in a stressful situation.
As most powers tend to be dominated by emotions, if the possessor of those powers attempts to use them again with concentration and doubt, most will find that their attempts will fail. It is for this reason that we read about people exhibiting great powers when they find that their loved ones are in danger…

I put down the book and sighed deeply. What if I was one of those people that had super powers but wasn’t acknowledging this through fear of being different? Many people had noticed my abilities on the sporting field, but could I really use these skills in the real world – against people who would cause harm to others? And did I really want to, considering the lack of thanks that I got from the girl after I saved her friend? (hide spoiler)]

NOTE: Make sure you hide your entry with the “spoiler”. That is < and > with spoiler written in between, at the beginning of your entry, and < and > with /spoiler written in between, to close your entry.

Am I too late to participate?

No, Angelica, you're right on time.

I might try, but I haven't had a lot of free time lately. I'll join, but I may not enter anything. :(

I'll give it a go!

You won't lose anything by trying. Good luck, Rhystlynne and Madison!

Here’s mine. My character’s name is Red Rose. Travis, I used your example as a guide, but I’m not sure if it’s any good though.

(view spoiler)[ Red Rose

Back Story
Rosetta Thornston was just thirteen-years-old when she was helping her parents in their greenhouse. Rosetta’s parents were botanists and they always took her on all of their travels to strange and exotic places. On this particular day, Rosetta’s father told her to take hold of one of a rare breed of roses that they had found in the Amazon jungle. This particular rose appeared to be the only one of its kind and Rosetta was told to be very careful with it.

As it happened, Rosetta was careful and took it across to the bench where her mother was studying one of its leaf samples. It was then that Mr and Mrs Thornston’s boss, Gerald Bunt (CEO of Bontancorp Industries), came in asking about the plant. He had heard a legend that it could give people unique powers in some way and he wanted Rosetta’s parents to find out how. Her parents told him that it would take time, but Mr Bunt was not a patient man. He tried to take the sample that Rosetta had just placed on the table, but Rosetta was quicker. She held it in her hands for dear life, as Bunt grabbed her by the arm. Her parents came to her aid, but Bunt had ripped the rose from Rosetta’s hands before they could get there. The thorns from the rose ripped Rosetta’s hands and she was left to be comforted by her parents, as her hands dripped of blood.

However, in the recovery, Rosetta and her parents noticed some strange things. The first thing was that the wound was healing quite quickly – much like a plant regrowing after it’s been pruned. The next was a reddish tinge to Rosetta’s skin, much like a rash. Her parents rushed her to a hospital, where doctors found that Rosetta had been poisoned by the plant, but as it had moved through her bloodstream so quickly, all they could do was monitor her and fight the reactions. There were no other reactions however. Rosetta’s skin remained tinged with red, but had no other side effects, so they sent her home. In the weeks that followed, Rosetta found that her skin cells could regenerate, she was able to grow thorns and fire them at will and she could fire out creeper vines that entrapped opponents within the thorny vines.

Power Scene
Rosetta Thornton was seventeen and heading off to a party with her best friend, Vivian Green. Her parents had told her to be careful, as she had had to endure several incidents of bullying over the years and they were worried that something might eventuate at the party.

Sure enough, when she showed up, the cool kids decided that it would be funny to humiliate Rosetta in front of all of the guests. They had Julian Bunt; the guy that all the girls wanted to be with and also the son of Bintancorp’s CEO, Gerald Bunt, go up to Rosetta under the premise of wanting to go out with her. She danced with him for a bit and then, at the end of the night, when Julian went in to kiss her, he stopped and laughed. The rest of the group turned on her laughing and mocking her and Julian’s supposed ex-girlfriend (but really current girlfriend) went on a tirade about how Red-Red Rosie would never get someone as good looking as Julian, because of her red hue.

Vivian, who knew all about what Rosetta could do, tried to calm her friend, but it was all too late. Rosetta launched her vines from her fingers grasping all eight members of the group and lifting them high off the ground. Guest began running in fear, as Rosetta’s skin became a darker shade of red and thorns grew from her body. Catching herself, Rosetta dumped the eight bullies into the pool and tried to calm herself. Her thorns retracted and Vivian grabbed Rosetta and they ran out of the party.

Rosetta was never picked on again. In fact, she was avoided by most people at school, except her best friend. The incident made it into a couple of the trashy newspapers, but they were put down to a myth created by drunk teenagers. However, Julian Bunt, who had witnessed Rosetta’s powers first-hand, reported the incident to his father and now Gerald Bunt is doing all he can to find out how Rosetta got her powers. (hide spoiler)]

Well done, Madison. Yours is the first entry in. Ten days to go, guys!

This competition will close in one week (7 days). So far there's only one entry in. Make sure you get writing!

Just a couple more days to go for this competition and only Madison in the running at the moment.

Mine will be in tomorrow. I'm that kind of person that wants to look it over as long as I can before turning it in. :)

Mine will be in tomorrow as well, hopefully.

Here is my entry. The character and scene are from a story that I am currently working on. Feel free to give opinions and advice. :)

(view spoiler)[
Superhero: Danny Leighton

Back Story

Human DNA is a complex and fascinating thing. Most people don't realize it but a mutation exists in the DNA of some people that causes their bodies to change when specific conditions are met. Danny Leighton didn't realize he carried this particular mutation until a rainy fall evening. Things had gotten unbearably difficult at home. He had to get away from it all. So he took his motorcycle from the garage and sped away without letting his mother know he was leaving. Not that she would care or anything.

The fact that it was raining barely even registered with Danny, so upset, so out of control was he. His black hair and clothes were soaked within minutes. Without thinking much of it, Danny sped toward the curvy road that many took as a shortcut into town. The signs posted informed drivers that the speed limit was 45 miles per hour. Danny pulled, twisting the accelerator, pushing the bike toward 50, then 55 miles per hour. The wheels threatened to leave the ground with every steep twist and turn that the road took.

The road was pretty empty that night. As he took another sharp curve, a car's taillights appeared several miles ahead. Danny didn't hesitate to pass the car, despite the double yellow lines warning drivers against this. He had trouble swerving neatly back into his lane. When the second car appeared, coming right for him, Danny did nothing to avoid it. Wasn't this what he had been hoping for all along? An easy way out? He didn't close his eyes against death. As he smashed into the windshield of the other car he briefly locked eyes with the brown-eyed driver. Then he was thrown from the force of the impact.

He remembered flying through the air, the wind whizzing in his ears. Then he was falling. The falling was the worst, as if it would never end. But then it did and the next thing he knew was pain. A burst of pain surged through him, growing until he felt that he would explode from the force of it. What he didn't realize was that the mutation in his DNA was changing him. Electricity surged through his body, infecting him, giving him power that he never could have imagined existed.

When it was finally over, Danny was left gasping for breath, his body twitching and tingling from the excess electricity leaving him. As his breathing calmed and he began to regain control of himself, he realized that he lay splayed on the cables of a power line. When he prepared to stand, to find a way back to the ground, his body felt light. Lighter than ever. Almost as if...as if he could fly. As soon as this thought entered his mind his body began to float, higher and higher, leaving the power line behind.

It didn't take too long for him to get the hang of using flight. It was merely a matter of concentrating his thoughts on where he wanted to go and how fast. He sailed back up to the crash site, a glow surrounding him, casting his face in shadow. He spotted his motorcycle laying on its side. A sports car was stopped on the side of the road, its hood smashed in, the windshield shattered. The car that Danny had passed earlier was stopped on the opposite side, its hazard lights flashing.

The girl from the other car whirled around in shock as Danny ascended, sending a gust of air toward her. He only hovered there before the scene for a minute or so. Then he turned and flew off.

Power Scene

Danny was livid that Blake had approached Emmali. What was Blake playing at? Was his goal to turn her against him? Make her believe that he, Danny, was the villain and himself the hero? Danny knew where he would find Blake. It was the same place they always met up on the few occasions they had reason to speak face-to-face privately.

It was an overcast, windy evening. It reminded him a little of that night, months ago, when he sped out on his motorcycle on this same stretch of road that he now flew over.

“I thought I would find you here,” Danny called as soon as he spotted the lone figure standing on the southbound side of the road. It was the same spot where Danny had run into his car with his bike.

Blake barely looked up. “I already have her, you really shouldn't even get involved.”

“You should know that I don't intend to give up so easily,” Danny said.

Blake glanced at Danny out of the corner of his eye. His eyes were no longer the light brown they used to be. At least they weren't in this moment. Now, they were a glowing dark green. “You can't defeat me. Haven't we already proven that?” Without another word, Blake thrust his hands out toward Danny, zigzags of electricity shooting out from his palms.

Danny produced a force field, a shining sphere that rendered Blake's electricity useless as they landed. He charged up his own attack sending bolts of lightning at Blake. Danny's hands trembled with the power as his attack left them. The air sizzled and cackled with the sound of lightning as the two shot bolt after bolt at one another.

They both looked up when they heard the roar of a car's engine coming around the bend. A flicker of irritation crossed Blake's features momentarily at the interruption. He sent a bolt the car's way. Danny's eyes widened. He lunged, his arms outstretched. He was able to catch the bolt in time, twisting it into his hands, absorbing it into his body. He flew at Blake, yanking him up by the collar. The car below drove off, never realizing what was going on above.

Danny slammed Blake into the cliff's wall making rocks rain down on the road below. “Are you trying to get someone killed?” Danny hissed.

With a grunt of effort, Blake twisted his body so that he now had Danny pinned. Blake lifted Danny from the wall and slammed him back once, twice, three times before letting go of him. Danny fell twenty feet straight back down to the road, his head spinning. Rocks and fragments of the cliff wall landed on and around him. He held his hands in front of his face to protect it from the falling debris. He shook the disorientation away just as Blake landed neatly beside him. Danny grabbed him by the arm and flung him off the cliff's edge. There was a sound of cracking as Danny imagined Blake landing on the power lines. He flew to the edge.

Blake had snapped a power line, holding one piece in each hand. His body glowed brightly as he drew in energy from the cords. When he'd gotten his fill, he dropped the lines, giving Danny a murderous sneer. Danny tried to be quick, sending a rope of electricity out, intending to restrain him. But Blake was quicker, his movements enhanced by all the electricity he'd absorbed. Blake grabbed Danny's glowing lightning rope and yanked, bringing Danny with it.

Focusing all his energy, Danny concentrated, feeling his electricity leave his body in the form of sparks that flew in all directions, some hitting Blake in the face, in the hands and arms. He let Danny go. Blood began to trickle out of the cuts where the sparks had split the skin. Danny took his chance. He landed a fist across his face and another directly in the stomach. Blake doubled over from the pain of it, attempting a few poorly aimed attacks in the form of knife-shaped bolts of lightning. Danny soared back up to the road dodging his attacks left and right. But Blake didn't waste time. He shook off the physical blows and charged up once again.

Danny's confidence started to wane as Blake's attacks started to land. First pain erupted in his shoulder as the skin split, then he was knocked to the ground with a ball of energy to the face. He coughed, blood rolling down his chin, landing in little droplets on the asphalt. Energy draining, Danny forced a protective sphere around himself. Blake had no trouble breaking through it. As he got closer, Danny realized that he was intending to use his fists to end it as punishment for Danny's earlier attacks.

Blake curled his fingers around the front of Danny's shirt. He lifted him up a few inches off the ground. “You may have given me this fate, but you are inferior,” he said before bringing his fist down hard across Danny's face.
(hide spoiler)]

TMEB wrote: "Mine will be in tomorrow as well, hopefully."

Looking forward to it, TMEB!

Angelica wrote: "Here is my entry. The character and scene are from a story that I am currently working on. Feel free to give opinions and advice. :)

Great job, Angelica! I can give you feedback after the competition if you like (just don't want to sway votes one way or the other). :)

Yes, Travis, I would definitely appreciate feedback after the contest is over. It's the first time that I am letting someone other than my husband read my work, so it would be great to hear what others think.

It looks like I'll have to set up a poll between Madison and Angelica. It's now 6:40am on 19th May, so I'll set the poll up when I return from work. If anyone else gets theirs in between now and then, I'll add you in the poll.

Thanks :)

Cora:(view spoiler)[

Back-story: April,17th ,1896

The waves crashed against the wooden hull of the ship, Victoria. Gust after gust of wind hit the sails rattling the timbers and making the masts creak and groan. The captain of the old schooner, a man by the name of Sal, was strapped to the deck barking useless orders at his crew desperately trying to save his ship. He was a short, elderly man, with a small amount of white hair on top of his absurdly large head. He was known by all the sailors as a tough, but fair and respectable captain. He had a way about him that made people respect him, he was a leader and I personally would've followed him into any battle no matter how bad the odds. But, that day the man who was usually so confident and optimistic, knew even then that they weren't going to make it. He was sure that the crew couldn't hear his useless orders over the noise of the storm and even if they could it wouldn't have made a difference.
Water splashed against his leg as yet another humongous wave struck the ship. Sal looked despairingly at the sky. It was only 3 hours past midday but the storm had blocked out all of the suns light. Instead, the sky was covered in angry black and gray clouds pushing and shoving one another for space, over crowding the sky so that whenever one of the clouds had a chance to move another took its place. Sal was an experienced sailor and had never once gotten seasick, but when he looked up at the sky at that moment the constant shifting and changing of the dark mass was enough to make him want to go to the rail and hurl. Thankfully he did not act upon this thought because not a moment or two after he thought this another crew member did throw up and though he was also strapped the ship he was swept away by the roaring sea along with the large chunk of railing he was attached to.
Sal sadly surveyed the ship. Even through the downpour he could see that the vessel was in ruins. One of the three masts was cracked almost in half and was leaning at a dangerous angle over the deck. Half of the wooden planks, so expertly put together ,were wrecked and the other half was drenched in sea water. The once beautiful carving on the rails was destroyed. In just thirty minutes the monstrous storm had reduced the majestic ship to a simple raft barely floating. He knew that if they somehow made it out of the horrible storm they could never make it to land.
He sighed and looked at the palm of his right hand, on it was a star. The gold symbol made his old sea cracked hands seem like a beacon of hope in the mist of all this despair. He smiled and for once that day he was happy. Sure he was going to die, but he had lived a full life. He was a Guardian after all, the symbol on his hand proved it.
Suddenly an ear splitting crack rang through the air. Sal looked up just in time to see the middle mast hit the ship cracking it in half. He was sent flying through the air and into the cold Atlantic ocean. As he sank beneath the waves the old man had only one thought. That if the ship was one day found that they would know how beautiful she once was and they would know that he had tried his hardest to save her. With that final thought the Victoria and her ever loyal captain sank beneath the waves.
Of the thirty or so passengers and crew on that ship only one survived. Young Cora was sent afloat, as soon as the Guardians knew there was no hope of there survival. To give her the best chance, the guardians left her float off alone, hoping that one little girl would be able to slip past the vengeful sea, and into safe harbor. Besides, the were Guardians, and what could they do now that what they were guarding was gone. So they left her drift away, for she was the only one would had not failed her duty, she was innocent of the Seas rage, hopefully that would mean she could be free.
For a long time Cora drifted not lost but protected from society until one day, when life itself was being threatened and there was great need of the Guardians, I would call her and she would awake into a different world where she would have to carry out the task that her parents and all that came before them had done.
(Vague Backstory, but if you look into it enough, I do some what explain how she got her powers)

TRANSITIONAL SCENE DO NOT NEED TO READ BUT MAY BE HELPFUL:

2013

"Class, this is Cora. She's new to town, but I’m sure you will all make her feel welcome.” The irritable teacher said with forced smile.
Twenty-four blank faces stared back up Cora. She didn't care though, why should she? In a few weeks she would put Belvidere, Vermont behind her. Of on a new adventure her social worker would say. Nevertheless she put a smile on their face and went to sit in the only empty seat.
Flash forward a few hours, and a few headaches later, and young Cora was walking down an old cracked sidewalk by a bunch of beautiful rose bushes. She was headed to “home” number 38. The bad thing about number 38, Cora had taking to calling her numberous foster homes by numbers so as not to confuse them, was that they had to share it with dozen other orphans. One which, a boy her age named Eric, was now bobbing up and down beside her talking non-stop. He talked fast to so she couldn't even understand what he was saying. All she got was something about a weird hat and the cranky chemistry teacher Mrs. Hemma. He continued to ramble all the way until they finally reached their destination 7 painful minutes later. What she didn't know at the time, was how much of her story was to be written with Eric.
Eric was born on July, 11th, 1998. He grew up in an unstable environment with his older sister Meredith and their crazy dad Roger. Roger was a veteran from the Persian gulf war who had fought as part of navy. He was a valiant soldier and had saved many lives. Ever since he got back his mind was somewhat messed up and he was was soon diagnosed with PTSD and depression.
His wife Loraine was the one that kept them all together. With her help he managed to get a job at the local auto shop and for a while he was able to keep all his anger and sadness buried deep inside him. They were happy and a few years later, when Meredith was 11, Eric was born.
Then everything changed. When Eric's was 4 years old his mother was killed in a car crash. Roger fell into an even deeper depression. He just sort of lost it, all the sadness that had long been trapped down inside him all bubbled to the surface at once. He turned to drinking and lost his job. He had to start working at a gas station just to get by. Even so they ended up getting evicted and Eric spent both his 5h and 6th birthday living out of a car.
When Meredith turned 16 she dropped out of school and got a low paying job at the outlet mall. It was shame because Meredith was a very smart child and could've gone on to do great things in the world of chemistry and physics. Nevertheless she had to drop out in order to put food on the table and clothes on their backs. I will always admire Meredith, she gave up so much for her family.
Eric was also was remarkable student and he loved school. He used the work as a way to escape the car and his horrible life. He had an admirble memory and could remember almost anything, that and the fact that he had a lot of dedication helped him so much that he was able to skip first and second grade all together. The people at the elementary school thought he was a genuis and since they knew his family could not pay for special tutoring, did their best to help him achieve his full potential.
At the same time Roger was getting worse. He started on drugs and gambling. There were times when Eric and Meredith had to avoid the car for days at a time. After all this time though Roger had never hit them, never hurt them and while he wasn't the best father Eric loved him with all his heart. No matter what people said about his father Eric wouldn't believe that he was a bad guy. He truly believed that his dad was a good guy who a lot of bad things had happened to.
Then the worst thing happened, on Christmas Eve ,when Eric was barely 7 years old, the Social workers came. They took both children away from their father and separated them from each other. Eric never saw Roger or Meredith ever again.
For a while Eric was irritable. He would tell everyone that his father wasn't a bad man, that he had always tried to take care of them. Sadly 2 months later , he received news that his father had jumped of a bridge and killed himself.
After that Eric became withdrawn. He refused to talk to anyone and moved from house to house until he finally landed with the Jackson's. At the Jackson's he was able to get back to his normal self and instead of hardly talking he started talking non stop, to make up for 3 years of solitude I suppose. He continued to excel at school and was now in 12th grade instead of 9th.
Back to the story, upon entering the house she tried to quickly escape up the stairs and into her room to avoid Eric. She was successful evading him, but instead found her path blocked by Mrs. Melanie Jackson. Mrs. Jackson is a rather bubbly women whose greatest love in life was children. She had long auburn hair that was always worn down and was a little on the fat side.
Her husband Harold was almost the complete opposite. He was a slim man standing at an astonishing 6 foot 8 inches. He was rather kind quiet and would spend hours at a time shut up in his study doing who knows what. He shared his wife’s love of children though and even when he was busy he always found time to play with the children or tell them stories.
“So you kids ready for family game night?” said Mrs. Jackson.
"Wouldn't miss it” Cora said sarcasticly.
“Great,” Mrs. Jackson replied, “and seeing as your new you can pick the first game. We have Clue and Monopoly and apples to apples. This is going to be so much fun.”
“This is going to be a long couple of months.” muttered Cora as she pushed her through the adults and climbed up the stars into her bedroom.
She sat down heavily on the bed. It had been a long day, full of crazy teachers, and hyper 15 year olds. Then she pulled out her hand and took of her glove. SHe smiled at the mark underneath it, it was faded and had lost much of it's original gold color, but the star was still there. Cora didn't really understand why, but she loved that star. Maybe it was because it was the only thing she had that connected her to the past, or maybe because it was the only thing she had that was really hers. Either way, Cora treasured it, what she didn't know was how much it would really help her out.


POWER SCENE:
Cora stood on the back of the small ski boat and faced the growing storm.
"So this is it huh," she yelled, "You're just gonna kill me off to."
"Ummm Cora, maybe we shouldn't yell at the storm, I mean it already seems to want to kill us." Eric whispered, to the girl who was now standing dangerously close to the edge of the boat.
"The storm doesn't want to kill us Eric," she replied calmly, "it is but a means to an end."
"Ohhh," Eric replied, clearly not understanding a word she was saying.
"Someone's controlling it dunderhead." Cora replied smacking him on top of his head, "But their not the only one who was born of the sea." And she stepped off the boat.
Ignoring her friends screams she rose up on a wave and headed straight toward the eye of the storm. There was thunderclouds in her eye, and the clouds above her darkened. She lost track of time, of where she was, of who she was. She just knew, that she was born of a vengeful sea, and right now she was going to get revenge against the person who killed her parents... to be continued (hide spoiler)]

Continued: (view spoiler)[A figure stepped through the dark swirly masses, and stopped resting on top of the water.
"They failed," he said, "they were supposed to protect it, but they failed."
The figure looked down with what could be taken as sadness in his eyes. Then he looked up sharply, his eyes pitch black, "and you know as well as I do that the sea does not take failure lightly."
"It also doesn't take betrayal lightly," Cora replied shouting through the storm of her and the figures creation, "You killed my parents, and the sea must be avenged."
With that final statement she rose in a swirl of water. She raised her hand with the golden star and sent a wave hurling towards the figure.
The figure just waved his hand, "tsk, tak, now that won't do. I thought you would at least pose a challenge. It would seem I was wrong."
Cora screamed and lunged toward the figure. The smile slipped off his face, and he quickly brought a wall of water up between him and Cora, seperating them. "Well that was more impressive, and I must say you certainly have been working on your storms. Last time I saw you, you couldn't even make lightning."
In response a bolt of lightning shot down and struck right where the figure had been standing a moment ago. COnfused Cora looked up to find him looming over her on a thundercloud.
"Well, this little family reunion has been fun. Hope to see you soon, but now I really must go," he said, and then he was gone.
Cora let the storm settle around her, all the thunder out of her eyes now that her opponent was gone. Suddenly she heard a noise and realed around arm raised, to find Eric, standing at the helm of their little Ski boat. SHe sighed and took the hand he offerd and got back in the boat.
"Well, that was frightening," Eric said, "I hope you don't plan to make a habit of fighting to the death with strangers in the middle of the ocean, but if you do, next time please leave me out of it. I unlike you am not death proof."
"I can die Eric, just not normal ways." Cora replied.
"Just not normal ways," Eric muttered as he walked to the bow of the ship, "Like that makes any sense."
Cora smiled, "Besides," she said, "that wasn't a stranger, that was my brother." (hide spoiler)]

TMEB wrote: Cora


Good timing, Tessa. Well done! And I'm glad that you added the transitional scene, otherwise I would have been wondering when it was set. Great job!

I'll go and set up the poll now. Please read the three entries and vote... once it's up :)

The poll will open on the 20th May... don't know whether that's a US time zone or Australian time zone. Will let you know when it's running. It'll close on 31st May.

thx, I have a procrastination problem, and I was worried about the confusion so I added a transitional scene.

I also have a coma problem, in case you didn't notice

Poll is up and running. You will need to go to Polls and then scroll down to Poll #10. Vote away!

Just a couple more days left to vote. Thank you to those who have already voted! :)

The votes are in... CONGRATULATIONS, TMEB! Well done to all the contestants who entered. I'll be in touch with the winner and they'll get a signed copy of my book, "Jack Majors: Superhero".

Angelica wrote: "Yes, Travis, I would definitely appreciate feedback after the contest is over. It's the first time that I am letting someone other than my husband read my work, so it would be great to hear what ot..."

Hi Angelica,

Some feedback on your writing piece.

(view spoiler)[It reads well for the most part. I like the back story, though I'm unsure as to how Blake (I take it he was the driver of the other car) managed to get the same powers as Danny.

Your fight scenes are written powerfully and I like the sense of character that you build into the story. I guess the biggest question I have in the way of "How does this work?" is if both Danny and Blake absorb electricity, wouldn't they both fight to a stand still or find themselves absorbing one another? If Blake can fire bolts and Danny absorbed it after it was thrown at a passing car, then couldn't Danny absorb any other electricity Blake threw his way and vice-versa?

The rest of my thoughts about the story would probably come out once more is written; like Why is Danny angry when he races off and why wouldn't his mother care? Why does Blake take the evil road, while Danny takes the good? It makes me want to know more.

Thanks for sharing! (hide spoiler)]

TMEB, do you need to close this competition? I'm not sure how it's done or even if I have access do it. Thanks :)