Weird Fiction discussion

The Vampire, The Tutor, and The Madman is an action driven novel full of monsters, mysteries, and pure evil hiding in an ancient castle deep in the remote mountains of southern China.
Jonathon a wayfaring English teacher running from his past through travel and alcohol. He takes a job from a mysterious employer who is nauseatingly wealthy and full of secrets.
Up against wolves, bandits, mutant monsters, mad scientists, and his own demons Jonathon risks all to save a gorgeous mute scullery maid and get away wildly wealthy.
The Vampire, The Tutor, and The Madman is a potent cocktail of Dracula, The Island of Dr. Moreau, Mountain Man, and The 47th Samurai. Not for the squeamish or the quickly offended.

I have moved your post into the Author Self-Promotion folder. Many GoodReads groups have a complete ban on authors mentioning their works and are rather nasty to ones who do. The history books club is the example that comes most readily to my mind on this. I don't understand that. I have too much respect to authors to ever intentionally mistreat one. However, most groups including ours has a section (or folder) for authors to talk about (or promote) their work. That way people who regard such posts as spam, and that may be a majority, can ignore anything appearing in that folder. To stay in the good graces of any group in which you want to mention your work, I really recommend finding out a group's policies first, and then posting where the group has set up a place for the author self-promoting post, if anywhere.

That all said, thank you for informing us of your work, and congratulations on getting it out there for purchase. I'll take a gander at it now. Back. I used the read sample feature on Amazon, for which I am so grateful as it saves me from making many an unwanted purchase. Your book looks to me to be pretty well-written and edited for a self-published book. Grammar errors are minimal and not egregious or obtrusive, placing your book already in the top half of self-published books. I also appreciate the lack of need for experimenting or over-writing so often found in beginning writing. Yours is simple third person past tense, an appropriate form for any story.

All that said, it still does not look like it's a book I would enjoy. I do like a serious tone in most of the works I read as opposed to light-hearted, which yours is. And I prefer a good scene and dialogue with a gripping plot situation introduced early on rather than simple narration which even makes a self-referential point to skipping dialog. Also, your work is not really weird fiction, but something more akin to comedic horror, for which I know there to be an audience. It's just not me. Good luck in gathering your fan base.

Josh wrote: "The Vampire, The Tutor, and The Madman is an action driven novel full of monsters, mysteries, and pure evil hiding in an ancient castle deep in the remote mountains of southern China.
Jonathon a ..."
Cool! Did you use AI?

Dan wrote: "I have moved your post into the Author Self-Promotion folder. Many GoodReads groups have a complete ban on authors mentioning their works and are rather nasty to ones who do. The history books club..."

Dan,
Thank you for taking the time to write such an insightful and helpful response. A second thank you for moving my message to the appropriate folder.
I am new to Goodreads and am trying my best to make my entrances respectful and appropriate. The last thing I want is to be is the obnoxious spammer merely dumping self promotion and movingg on to the next target.
Lastly, I assure you The Vampire, The Tutor, and The Madman is weird. Despite being an action/thriller, the weirdness gets weird.

Doctor Gierer sat down opposite of me and took out an ovoid ostrich-skin case that looked two hundred years old. He reached inside with his veiny hands removing a rectangular linen cloth. The doctor folded it in half and laid it carefully on the table. He took out a stainless steel syringe, inspected it carefully like a rare stamp, and placed it horizontally on the linen cloth. Then he withdrew a little brown glass bottle of alcohol complete with a cork top. He even had cotton balls wrapped in parchment paper. Despite their antiquity, the apparatuses appeared sterilized.
He checked my blood pressure by hand with his watch, a stately old IWC Hermet. Then he felt the pulse on my neck, and rubbed my thyroid glands.
“Do you ever have prickly sensations on the arches of your feet?” He asked.
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Do your regularly consume mutton?”
“Maybe five times a year.”
“Do you eat a lot of carrots?”
“What’s a lot of carrots?” I asked.
“More than seven carrots a day?”
“Uh, no, definitely not. But, I do like carrots.”
“How often do you micturate?”
“Huh?” I replied.
“Pass water.”
“Urinate?”
“Yes, urinate, pass water, same thing…” He seemed annoyed by this.
“I don’t know, usual, maybe six times, maybe ten…”
“Never more than thirty micturitions?”
“No, I definitely don’t piss thirty times a day.” I answered.
“Have you ever entered a hemorrhaging woman’s mons-pubis?”
“Huh?”
“Have you ever made love to a woman while she was menstruating, having her monthly cycle?”
“Intentionally?”
“Doesn’t matter, have you ever had sex with a menstruating woman?”
Nothing wrong with a little ketchup on your hot-dog, I thought. “Uh, not to my knowledge. Sorry, but seriously, what does this have to do with me passing out last night?”
“I’m the doctor here, just answer the questions”
“Uh, okay…”
“Do you find the smell of freshly cut grass noxious and unpleasant?”
I laughed at that one. “No, no I don’t, I actually love the smell of fresh cut grass.”
“Have you ever pinched yourself to see if you’re awake?”
“What the fuck? Sorry…No, I’ve never pinched myself to see if I’m awake.”
“Okay, are you afraid of flies?”
“Flies? Like the insect?”
“Yes, flies… the insect… do you fear them?”
“No, not unless they’re in my food.”
“You’ve had flies in your food?” the doctor asked, most alarmed.
“Uh, I’ve been to Africa and India, sometimes they hop around in your food.”
Doctor Gierer sat up rigidly, eyes growing large.
“Have you ever eaten a fly?”
“No, I’ve never eaten a fly. No disrespect, but what kind of doctor are you?”
“A thorough doctor. Please allow me perform my job.” He leaned forward, his voice rising impatiently.
“Oh, c’mon, your questions are insane, really. I’m sorry, but this is fucking ridiculous, I’m not a doctor, but I could think of a million more medically relevant questions.”
Doctor Gierer, was surprisingly not insulted, he appeared intrigued.
“What kind of questions?” He asked, placing his fingers together like a steeple.
“I don’t know, uh, my medical background, my family’s medical background, surgeries I’ve had, basic obvious questions, like if I have irregular heartbeats or dizzy spells. Allergies. What medication I take. You know, normal medical questions like that.”
“I already have those answers. I can see those answers just by looking at you.” he snipped. “I’m asking questions I don’t have answers for. Okay, American, last question, do full moons cause you headaches?”
I glanced out the window to avoid rolling my eyes.
“No, full moons do not cause me headaches.”
“Excellent, may I begin with the blood drawing?”
“Yes, please, let’s get it over with.”
I rolled up my sleeve and offered him my forearm while focusing on the view from the window.
“What are you doing?” He gasped in revulsion.
“Uh, giving you my arm to take a blood sample.”
“Sorry, I forgot, you’re American. In Germany, we draw blood from the gland.”
“The gland?” I asked in honest confusion.
“Yes, the gland, the penis… I need you to lower your trousers.”
“What the fuck? You’re fucking joking, man.”
“Yes, I am joking, your arm will do fine.” the doctor said, smiling for the first time.
“Jesus, you scared me.”
“Sorry, nothing is more perverse than a German doctor’s humor. Bad habits die old.”
He took a blood sample from my right arm while dryly whistling Shostakovich’s Waltz. Once finished, he stood up curtly.
“Okay… thank you, and yes, I know my questions may seem a bit unorthodox, but they were highly informative answers. Despair not, you’re in good hands. I’ll inform you if I discover anything. A good day to you, Jonathon.”
I nodded a thanks, for what, I do not know.
He walked right out the door.
“Wait!” I barked, shooting to my feet.
The doctor did not wait, he walked straight out of the room, closing the door swiftly behind him, trotting off with his ancient doctor kit and my blood sample.

Zina wrote: "Josh wrote: "The Vampire, The Tutor, and The Madman is an action driven novel full of monsters, mysteries, and pure evil hiding in an ancient castle deep in the remote mountains of southern China. ..."

Zina,
Ewwwww! I would never succumb to such laziness. I even find AI cover-art abhorrent. AI will be the death of all creativity, art, imagination, and perseverance.
I'm such a curmudgeony luddite, I felt guilty for using google for facts and research. (Capital of Kyrgyzstan? Damn, I gotta look it up).
But THANK YOU for the question.