Enything && Everything discussion
jokes!
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jokes
message 1:
by
Michelle
(new)
Nov 17, 2009 11:46AM
here yall can tell jokes && clown around :D
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this was on the internet:A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know the bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, I'm a 6' tall, black belt. The guy sitting next to me is a rugby player. The fella to your right is 300 lb wrestler. We're all blonde. Think about it. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
that is funny But I think i have one that is like a super funny pick up lines. Okay so i am in IB (i don't know how but i am) and here are some ib pick up lines that are super stupid but....1. "You're so hot you denature my enzymes"
2. "I'm Homozygous recessive. Wanna do a test cross?"
3. "I wish I was DNA helicase so I could unzip your jeans/genes"
4. "girl whenever I'm around you, i undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away"
5. "Are you a start codon? because youre turning me on!"
6. "If i was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?"
7. "Are you an asymptote? because i feel myself getting closer."
8. "im attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun- with a large force inversely proportional to the distance squared."
9. "You must be an asymptote, because all my functions bend around you."
10. "If I were a nitrogen base, I would be adenine so I could be paired with U."
they are actually really stupid but we hace like our own site just for ib qoutes and our journys and experices.
yep most of them are not really funny
Leonor wrote: "this was on the internet:A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know the bartender is blon..."
that's funny
omg (this is a response to ♠Miriam♠- owl city 4ever screen name.) i luv owl cityhe is the best
yeah! u should join my fan group for owl city!
a band w/ only 1 guy named adam young.
it is like really cool how everyone can get so off topic really quick Lol XD
lol ikr! it's like it's in our human genes.
yeah i know but it is fun to get off topic lol
Brittney wrote: "BTW love Owl City's fireflies song"SAME HERE!
ok so i'll post one someone sent me a philosofy homework/contest or whatever was to write a sentence thjat included religion, pregnancy and mystery, i think.the winner was:
-Oh my god, I'm pregnant!but...who's the father?
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lol that is really bad though once u think about it
ommfglmmfao!!!!lawww but whos the father?
now dats fukinnnn funny!
lol
Michelle is like dying of laughter over there lol ;)
lol im sorry. && plus i ate so much i wanna throw up.laughin this much isnt helpin eny!
Brittney wrote: "that is funny But I think i have one that is like a super funny pick up lines. Okay so i am in IB (i don't know how but i am) and here are some ib pick up lines that are super stupid but....1..."
funny
A blonde and a brunette were talking, and the blonde was very stressed. The brunette asked her what was the matter. The blonde proceeded to tell her that she really needed to sell her car, but no one would buy because it has 130,000 miles on it.The brunette said to her, "I know a way that will help you sell it. I have a friend who can help you, but it's illegal."
The blonde said, "I'll do anything." So the brunette gave the blonde the phone number of a guy who could turn back the odometer on her car. A week later the blonde and the brunette crossed paths, and the brunette asked the blonde if she had sold her car yet.
The blonde said, "Why would I sell a car with only 40,000 miles on it?!"
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool.
The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.
Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"
She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
I told that to a friend of ine and the laughed a lot
there was this guy who just got out of jail. The only thing he had were the clothes on his back. one day he found out that this family was going on vacation. so the night they left he broke into their house.as soon as he answered the house he heard a small voice that said "jesus is watching" he thought it was him mind playing tricks on him. so he ignored it and went into the kitchen
when he opened the refrigerator to get something to eat he heard the voice again. "jesus is watching" now he knows that he is not alone in this house.
as the voice keeps repeating "jesus is watching" he is trying to find the person. he goes into a room and sees a sheet covering something. he lifts the sheet up and there is a parrot in a cage
he says "hello little fella. what's your name?"he asked
the bird replied "moses"
"what kind of people name their bird moses"he said
the bird replied"the same kind of people who name their pit bull jesus"
this guy was in the desert. he found a lamp. he picked it up and a genie came out. the genie said "you have freed me. now i will grant you three wishes. but for every wish you make your wife get's double"he said"ok,i wish for 1billion dollars"the man said. he got 1 billion dollars and his wife got 2
"next,i wish for a mansion"he said. a mansion appeared right before his eyes. his wife got two
"for my 3rd wish. i wish to be beaten half to death"
a sandwich walked into a bar and ordered a beer. the bartender said to him "sorry,we don't serve food"
a guy was lost in the forest. he saw a cave. he went inside and saw a sleeping bear. he turned to leave when he stepped on a twig. the bear woke up.the bear started chasing the man. when the bear slowed down a bit the man said "please god,let that bear go eat those berries over there" the bear kept chasing him
when the bear slowed down for a second time the man said "please god, let that bear go eat the honey over there" still the bear kept chasing him
finally the bear cornered him. as the bear was towering over the man the bear said "thank you god for this wonderful meal"
