TWILIGHT HATERS discussion

I've been wandering around a few places for a while trying to figure out how the hell SMeyer managed to justify the whole "vampire baby" thing. After reading a little, it occurred to me that she f*cked up royally.

She described the logic behind the vampire spawn as being something akin to a cambion. The problem is that a Cambion is created when:

A succubus (that is to say the female of this particular brand of demon) will have sexual relations with a human male and by doing so acquire a sample of his sperm. This she will then pass on to an incubus. The incubus will, in his turn, transfer the sperm to a human female and thus impregnate her.

The only places to connect succubii and incubii to vampires have been bad occultists and role playing games makling some very big assumptions. The incubus/succubus are not vampires. They're a different kind of demon entirely. There's something else that occurred to me.

In order for Bella to get pregnant, Edward needs to get his sparkle on with a succubus. So either Edward isn't a vampire, he lied to Bella about his pimp vampy action, or SMeyer dropped the ball here.

Oh yeah, Meyer totally effed up.

Plus, if Edward is a vampire that means he's technically dead. Which means his sperm is technically dead and he technically can't reproduce. Or technically get an erection. -_-;

Me and my friends were discussing something like this in school, your right she really effed up I think that's what annoyed me most. My friend said something like how if Edward is dead and he managed to have sexy time with Bella does that mean he has a permanent erection seeing as their bodies never change xD

Oh, that's a good point. Maybe Edward just has a perma-erection. XD

I HATE RENESME IT'S SO MESSED UP
I PRETEND BREAKING DAWN DIDN'T HAPPEN
I HATE IT
IT'S SO F-D UP

If he's effectively dead, then he shouldn't be moving at all, so I'm not making the "no sperm" call. What I will say is that the reason for SMeyer claiming that the pregnancy being viable is bull. Also, considering how strong Edward is, the moment of ejaculation should hit Bella like a shotgun blast to the vagina.

In regards to a child resulting from this abominable act of paedophilic bestiality:

Traditional Vampire Canon says no.

Demonology says no.

Common sense says no.

I say hell no.

HAHAHAHA

"A SHOTGUN BLAST TO THE VAGINA!"

Lmaoo xD

Mutt wrote: "Also, considering how strong Edward is, the moment of ejaculation should hit Bella like a shotgun blast to the vagina."

OMG. I super hardcore lol'd. XD You, Mutt my friend, are officially my best friend. :D

Mutt wrote: "If he's effectively dead, then he shouldn't be moving at all, so I'm not making the "no sperm" call. What I will say is that the reason for SMeyer claiming that the pregnancy being viable is bull. ..."

No freaking way, says Mutt.
No freaking way, says Sisi.
No freaking way, says Sisi and Mutt.

Dontcha just love childrens storybooks?

uh...no

Mutt wrote: "If he's effectively dead, then he shouldn't be moving at all, so I'm not making the "no sperm" call. What I will say is that the reason for SMeyer claiming that the pregnancy being viable is bull. ..."

LMAO!!!!!!!!!

That don't mean that I can't reflect on my own thoughts. I do that on occasion...

Ahhhhh hahaha.
Even if Bella could have gotten pregnant by Edward, it's still really nasty, I mean Edward is old enough to be her grandfather (I think.) That makes me wonder, could Edward even have gotten Bella prego, because if he's really that old, wouldn't there at least be something with his sperm?

Great grandfather, actually.
And yeah.

Rose wrote: "Okay, let's put it at this before it goes off to become just one long post filled with "great great great great etc."
Edward's OOOOOOOOOOOOLD!!!
And Bella's underage.
Done and done!
EW! XD"

Too late!
GREAT INFINITY!! AAAHHH!
IT HAS BEGUN... and ended because of Rose. Thanks. grr.

THANK'S A LOT!!!!!

P.S. Sarcasm

My older sisters and I have contemplated this. My only conclusion is that Bella time-travelled back and stole some sperm from the sick Edward wracked with influenza and took it back in a jar.

so what did she do give him a hand job until he dumped his load into her "jar"?

Ambizzle wrote: "so what did she do give him a hand job until he dumped his load into her "jar"?"

ewwww!!---Yeah probably.

Or maybe Carlisle did it whilst snogging his neck - oops, sorry, I meant TURNING HIM INTO A VAMPIRE. -_-

WELL, THAT'S NOT DISGUSTING AT ALL, RIGHT? *EW*

o_O

i got goose bumps

because she wanted to sound smart by making it seem like a vampire pregnancy was even possible
but basically all she did was just make it worse

yeah totally. i don't even think its possible for Edward and Bella to kiss without the latter melting like being drowned in acid, let alone have sex.

EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW. I may have to stop reading this topic from now on. Baaaaad mental images. Eeeewwww. o_O

Umm...I agree with Nightshade.

Yeah, seriously, if my fantasy series defied many laws of physics, I would say "It's fantasy peeps, I'm not a doctor, If you don't like it, don't read it, it's your own fault for getting all science on me."

BURN

If my fantasy defied ALL LAWS, i'll keep it in my head, for God's sake. I would spare hundreds of people the illogical crap.

Nightshade wrote: "EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW. I may have to stop reading this topic from now on. Baaaaad mental images. Eeeewwww. o_O"

I have to agree. The Pelvic thrust of Death made me nauseous.

Ain020596 wrote: "yeah totally. i don't even think its possible for Edward and Bella to kiss without the latter melting like being drowned in acid, let alone have sex."

Hmm...you have a point there.

Ain020596 wrote: "Nightshade wrote: "EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW. I may have to stop reading this topic from now on. Baaaaad mental images. Eeeewwww. o_O"

I have to agree. The Pelvic thrust of Death made me nauseous."

Really? Well it sounds like that guy from (creepiest book I ever read, don't even try) Exquisite Corpse by P.Z.Brite...

*shudders so violently there is an earthquake*

AHH EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think vampires can have children.

Nope.

I mean even Sims2 creators know that!

I am so confused........ when Edward died he should have stopped producing sperm, so no chilies... and Bella should have DIED when they had sex... and she probably should have slapped him too.

lol!!

HAH!

hehe!

Sims2 is awesum!

Haha, oh I need to get that game.

you should!

I really need to get some new games, I've beaten all of mine except Okami that I just got, but I'm almost done with that too. And my search for the Tales of games is proving to be very fruitless.

same, I kind of neglected my sims2.

I don't have Sims 2 but I really want it :(

I still got no answers... but whatevers. Really, I don't get any present for MY good grades except we get to go to my expensive favorite restaurant. I know people that get a hundred bucks every A, seventy-five for a B, and fifty for a B.

I don't even have a PS2, but I have been looking everywhere for this PS2 game.

Same, I don't get money for my hard labour. all I get is a 'well done.' ja.

My friend gets like 200 bucks for every 'A' she gets in exams which is pretty cool.

None really can, not to what I remember.